Wedding season is quickly coming upon us, and first up is this dress from Totally Modest.

What’s nice about this dress is that it has everything that you could want to be modest—it’s length is great, the neckline is decent, and the shoulders are covered.

If you go to the site you see that it has buttons that go down the back as a nice, intricate pattern.

The only thing here that I can possibly see as a problem is the bust line, but even that isn’t something I’d be concerned over—considering the day and all.

How about you?  What’s your favorite wedding dress?

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Post tags: bridal, bride, formal, gown, wedding, wedding dress

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We’re fast approaching wedding season, and most young ladies have already been dreaming about how they will look, what they will wear, and how great that day will be.

Many women who are modest most of the time will opt to show a bit more skin, believing that this special day is some kind of exemption to the rule.

But jackielopina encourages us to be different in her post, For Soon To Be Brides:

May I offer you a little bit of challenging advice? Try to pick a modest wedding dress. I know, I know – boring right? However I encourage you to seek out what a beautiful, godly woman looks like. Modesty, ultimately an attitude of the heart that plays out in our appearance, honors God. It respects the men around us and treats our body as the temple God designed it to be.

…

Above all else, we should seek to honor Jesus in our wedding day. We can pray, ask our fiancé and friends how they think we can best honor Him- and we should do it! Following a checklist doesn’t cut it. And since people’s convictions are different, there isn’t one “right” formula. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in where you should go and change your heart- so that every aspect of your engagement, wedding and marriage magnifies Jesus above all else!

I think that she gets to the heart of the matter—for modesty really is an outpouring from a modest heart.

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Post tags: wedding, wedding dress

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I love how the front of it is interesting and different, yet modest…the neckline is high, the sleeves are a perfect length, and the empire waist combined with the A-line skirt really provides a slimming look.

Also, it’s a special order dress, so you will have a perfect, beautiful fit for your special day!

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Post tags: dress, wedding, wedding dress, white

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The date is set.  The flowers are ordered.  The honeymoon has been planned.

For years she’s dreamed of the day—the day that she’d find the one man to whom she’d give her heart and soul.

She’s dreamed of what it would feel like, what it would look like, and wants to make that day perfect.

She’s even picked out the dress.

So, how come a normally modest woman would decide to wear to her wedding something that she would never wear at any other moment in her life?

Because that day is something different—that day is something special.

Modesty is all about dressing appropriately for the situation that you find yourself in.  It’s perfectly find to wander one’s own house in Pajamas, but definitely immodest and/or inappropriate to wander outside one’s home that way.

When it comes to a wedding, we’ve been shown the picture of the “perfect bride” and more often than not—she’s wearing a strapless gown.

Don’t get me wrong—he’ll love you in just about anything you come down that aisle wearing.  Strapless gowns are formal and can be very flattering.  But a lot of them are a lot of work and end up showing more than the groom things that you wouldn’t show anyone else.

You should plan that your dress signal purity, both in its color and style.  Being beautiful on your wedding day does not mean that you have to show off skin, it means that you should exude confidence and excitement.

Better to be conservative at the wedding, and then “fun” on the wedding night, than to be concerned that something could happen at the wedding!

If he likes strapless dresses, then maybe you’ll want to pair it with a jacket or something, so that you can be more “revealing” in private, not so much in public.

Oh, and if he knows that you’ve got something special prepared just “for his eyes only”, I’m sure he won’t mind that you aren’t displaying everything to everyone.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | 15 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: formal, gown, strapless, wedding

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Is This Modest?

justagirl4god: Happy couple alert! :) I love this wedding dress – it is so beautiful, but the dress does not draw attention to itself, it draws the attention to this bride’s face, not her body. The dress has a great neckline which is modest. The groom here is modest too – classic black suit is great, and again does not draw attention to the clothing, but to the person wearing them. Modest!

MInTheGap: The dress has a nice, high neckline with not a lot showing. The groom’s vest doesn’t cover all of his shirt (a tad sloppy?) but both are modest!

Your Turn…

[ratings]

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Post tags: suit, tuxedo, wedding, wedding dress

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Jenn

Originally uploaded by Photographer FX

Is This Modest?

Hannah: Where to start….first of all I don’t think strapless is an attractive style and though there can be more modest versions of it, this is not one of them. Too much is showing in the way it curves down at the top and has lots of beadwork running across. It all combines to attract attention and reveal too much. I also believe that her body posture and facial expression are seductive and immodest.

Foy: I have to agree with you on all fronts. Especially the front, where it is a bit too low. I’d be interested to see how the back is, but from the curves of the dress, it appears to be quite low as well.

Your Turn…

[ratings]

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Post tags: pose, strapless, wedding

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Makenna Bridals

Originally uploaded by s.myler

Is This Modest?

MInTheGap: Yes! Most certainly, this is one of the most modest wedding dresses I’ve seen!

Miss Jocelyn: Beautiful dress, high neckline, long sleeves, and flowing. I do think the bodice is too tight.

Your Turn…

[ratings]

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Post tags: Formal wear, wedding, wedding dress

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Mrs Jeremy Jones

Originally uploaded by tracey p

Is This Modest

MInTheGap: We’ve had some discussion before about strapless dresses, and yet we also know that many women who are normally modest will wear something like this to their wedding. To reiterated, the strapless-ness is a mystery and it does show off the chest and the shoulders. Knowing this, I’m going borderline– because these dresses are usually modest in length and there’s no cleavage showing.

To some degree, you almost expect something like this at weddings, and so the allure isn’t as strong (at least not for me) because there’s a continual reminder that there is a groom. That doesn’t change the fact that women should avoid strapless gowns, but hopefully it provides a little insight.

Kristin: I’m not a big fan of this dress.  While I personally have no problem with some strapless dresses for formal-wear only, this top on this gown comes too low on the chest anyway.  If one is going to wear a strapless it should at least come up high enough on the bust to lay flat against the chest- this one is dipping even lower and the curve in the fabric just draws extra attention there.  I’m going with Borderline on this one because of the attention drawn to the chest.

Your Turn…

[ratings]

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Post tags: bride, dress, Formal wear, wedding, Women's

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Natalie {b}

Originally uploaded by AnotherReasonToGetMarried.com

Is This Modest?

MInTheGap: This is an example of a modest wedding dress. Good job!

Kristin: What a lovely gown! I’m going to go with Modest here because the first place my eyes were drawn to was her face, and the all-over ruching keeps your eyes from locking in on one spot on the dress. I don’t see anything wrong with this one. She looks modest, happy,and pretty!

Your Turn…

[ratings]

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Post tags: bridal, formal, gown, wedding, wedding dress

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Dani si Andreea 3

Originally uploaded by STUDIO SFARA

Is This Modest?

MInTheGap: There’s nothing more beautiful than a bride and a groom on their wedding day sharing a passionate kiss! Of course, guys are rarely immodest in most photos (unless blatantly so) and this bride’s dress is modest in that it is not low, it has wide straps, and it’s very feminine.

Kristin: It’s hard to tell from this photo, but the dress is fitted until just under her rear and then poofs out. It draws your attention there pretty quickly!

Other than that I am mostly okay with this dress. The neckline isn’t too low, although I know some will be bothered by the straps. I’ll go with Mostly Modest here.

Your Turn…

[ratings]

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Post tags: bride, formal, gown, groom, kiss, Relationships, wedding, wedding dress

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After a man marries a woman, he no longer struggles with immodesty.  He delights in his wife, and can see all he needs to at any time.  She fulfils his every desire and need, and he needs no other.

I wish, very hard, to say this was true, but it is not, and this is something that we must realize and take into account—especially with all that’s going on in our culture today.

Living Together, Shacking Up, Living In Sin—You get the idea

Part of the problem with today’s culture is that marriage has been extremely devalued—to the point where women are compared to cars that you should test drive and make sure you get the latest model—or one with the least amount of miles on her.

With that has come the whole concept of comparison.  What I mean by that is that whereas in years gone by a man and a woman would only ever have one sexual partner their entire life, now they have multiples—and that’s seen as ok.

This directly relates to modesty, because now every woman is an object, something new and different to find out.

The Wedding

As far as modesty goes, what a strange time a wedding is.  It’s that time where every rule is turned on its head.  The woman intentionally goes out to find something to wear that will entice her husband sexually.  They see each other without clothing—and that’s as far as this family friendly blog writer will go.

They can’t get enough of each other during that week, and for a long time thereafter.

But he’s now seen “everything”—so is he cured?  Probably not.

After The Wedding and Into the Marriage

I will say that it’s not the same after being married as before, and I think there’s a good reason.  I believe that there is a physical reaction to seeing a pretty face/body—it’s a hit, or like a drug, where it feels good.

And because you’re not together all the time, a guy can look toward another girl and see something and feel something.

That’s made ten times worse by marketing and advertisements.  Men are now bombarded with images of girls using facial expressions that indicate a favorable reaction, whereas if they were to meet in person the girl would not give them the time of day.

Bodies are airbrushed to the point that the girl in the picture looks nothing like a real girl—and that just makes his comparisons worse.

If he needed to be careful not to look before marriage, he needs to be careful to only look at her after.  Ladies, here’s where you can help—you were all concerned about what he’d see on your wedding night (you may have tanned, gotten your hair done and lost weight), what is he seeing now?  Yes, be modest outside the house, but inside, draw him in like only you can.

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Post tags: clothing, marriage, purity, Relationships, The Male Mind, wedding

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Women want it both ways.  They want to look good.  They want attention.  They just don’t want attention from certain people!

The prime example is the bride.  She goes all out for her wedding day:

• She may spend weeks on a diet or working out to get in shape.
• She may visit a beach or go tanning.
• She may buy a dress with a corset built in, and cinch it up to augment her figure.
• She will get her hair done in ways that she never had before (and may never have since).
• She may choose a dress that will show more of her body than she’d normally feel comfortable sharing.

Why does she do all this?

The Motivation of the Bride

She’s getting herself beautiful with a single focus—and an audience of one: her future husband.  She’s consumed with looking her best for him.  She wants him to think that she is the most beautiful one in the world.  She wants him to want her.  And this is a great desire, don’t get me wrong.

A bride does not think “I really want that guy that didn’t shave and smells like he hasn’t showered in days that’s sitting in the back row of the wedding to lust after her.  She’s not caring what anyone but what her husband thinks.

The problem is, you can’t control who sees you.

Just Don’t Look

Some women would say, “It’s not my problem, I’m not dressing for you, I’m dressing for him.  Just don’t look at me.”

But if you’re reading this you know how hard it is to follow direction!  The fact is that it is human nature to look.  It’s human nature to do that which they shouldn’t.  The question is, will you be an enabler or not.

And while it’s bad when we know we shouldn’t look, it’s worse when we’re told not to look—because our rebellious “who is he to tell me what to do” nature kicks in and wants to do it just because we don’t want people to believe they can boss us around.

What’s Your Motivation?

When you get dressed in the morning, who are you dressing for?  The better question, do you know who else might see you?

You’re in PJs and the postman has a package that you have to go to the door for.  You wore something for your husband, and he wants to go right out for dinner.  You decided to go to the mall dressed with something a little flirty, not realizing that it’s not just the boy that you’re dating that will think you look great—it’s the sleezy guy sitting in the corner of the restaurant you’re visiting.

Modesty gives you the ability to not have to concern yourself about who sees you or might see you.  It means that you can dress to show off who you are, and not what you are.

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Post tags: beauty, dress, look, Tanning, Tanning bed, wedding

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Weddings are a strange time.  Not only is it a lot of work for one day, the most money you’ll probably spend on yourself for one event, and a moment that will change your life, but it’s also a time when most people shift away from the normal and glimpse another world—as it were.

Weddings are a time of change:

• From singleness to a couple.
• From belonging to yourself to belonging to another.
• From part of one family to part of two.
• From the focus on your passions to a focus on yours.

As part of this change, the girl, for just that day, becomes that princess and the guy, for just that day, becomes that handsome knight.  Reality is bent for just that day as we spend what it takes to enjoy that time together.

And, just for that day, many modest and pure young ladies will show things they would be embarrassed to show any other time because it’s for their new husband.

She wants to be Beautiful

There is nothing more beautiful than a bride on her wedding day.  Her face is bright.  Her makeup just so.  She’s spent money getting her hair done, and she feels like the most valuable person in the world.  The man she loves is about to pledge his enduring love to her, and she wants to be her most beautiful for him.

It’s tradition that the groom does not see the wedding dress before the wedding , and for good purpose.  She wants to see his stunned face when she emerges on their big day.

She wants to be Attractive

There’s good reason that she’s gone to all this trouble—and it’s not simply because she’s looked through one too many bride magazines.  She wants to feel the part of the princess.  She wants her future husband to believe she’s the most beautiful person in the world.  She wants him to want her.  She wants to outshine all those that are there, and prove just why she is the person that he chose to marry.

She wants to be Sexy

She’s remained pure for this moment—or even if she hasn’t, she wants to be thought of this way.  She’s spent money on the wedding night attire, and knows that, in the back of his head he’s thinking about it.  She wants him to think, to wonder, to desire, perhaps even to lust after her.

And it’s a combination of these things that pushes her further than she has gone before in terms of modesty.  It is these things that encourage her to get a dress that will show off her best features—her curves, her figure, her shoulders, her chest.  She’s encouraged to show some, but not too much.  To give him a glimpse of how much she wants him.

If only it were just him and her.

She’s the Focus of Attention

The reality is that many will see the bride, and many may have the same reaction.  Just as she’s trying to get his attention, many will see all the same things.  Sure, it could be looked at as “Look at what he’s getting, don’t you wish you were?” but that’s not the attitude of a woman who’s life has been based on purity and humility.

The woman of purity and humility certainly has some hidden things for her husband, but those things are hidden, while others are left to guess.  The woman of purity knows she’s the focus of attention so she sets the bar high as an example for those to follow.

It is this woman that will be a joy to her husband, a helper, and not a trophy.  This woman is more than simply “woman”.  There are many of those.  She’s special because she’s saved everything for him.  And in the end, that’s what will be more valuable.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2008. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: dress, marriage, wedding

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When it comes to the wedding, the most formal event the average woman will ever attend, most gowns are anything but modest.

Did you ever stop to think about why this is?

Displaying the Bride

Everyone knows that the wedding day is all about the bride, but why?

In Western culture, following the medieval era, weddings could be as much about joining a bride and groom as they could be about joining two countries, families, etc.  The bride and groom could simply be pawns, and out of that grew the desire to show the best way to show off their family, state, country in the best possible light.

High Fashion and The Color White

Though at one point wedding dresses followed popular fashion, today these dresses harken back to the Victorian era, with minor changes here and there for style differences.

It wasn’t until 1840 that the color white became the standard color for weddings:

Victoria had worn a white gown for the event so as to incorporate some lace she owned. The official wedding portrait photograph was widely published, and many other brides opted for a similar dress in honor of the Queen’s choice. The tradition continues today in the form of a white wedding, though prior to the Victorian era, a bride was married in any color except black (the color of mourning) or red (which was connected with prostitutes).

And then it wasn’t until 1940 that they actually went with long, full skirted dresses for wedding dresses.  So, much of what you see today isn’t long tradition, it’s rather recent!

But White = Viriginity, right?

So, what are you telling me, MInTheGap?  Are you telling me that white didn’t always mean that a person was a person was pure when they got married?

[M]any people assumed that the color white was intended to symbolize virginity, though this had not been the original intention. (It was the color blue that was connected to purity.) Today, the white dress is understood merely as the most traditional and popular choice for weddings, not necessarily a statement of virginity.

I guess not!

White is a modest color for a wedding because it’s the traditional.  According to what we’ve seen here, red would be the most immodest color because of connotation.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2008. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bridal, bride, wedding, wedding dress

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There are a few times in life where it seems we are less concerned with modesty because the point of the time is at odds with modesty.

This week we’re going to take a look at these difficult times, what makes them difficult, and what guidelines we should have.  As well as provide a few places that you can find modest attire for even these events.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2008. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: formal, prom, wedding

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