The Oscars dresses held some valuable lessons. I must say I was surprised to see most dress cover more flesh than they showed. And, no one pranced around in a totally see-through gown.  However, the most talked about dress was adorn by Angelina Jolie. Her dress was a long solid black dress, with a thigh-high slit greatly accentuated because she purposely decided to ‘strike a pose’ awkwardly pushing her leg out of the slit.

Is it about the Clothes or the Pose?

We need to think about how sometimes the outfit we wear can be dramatically changed by the way we intentionally ‘pose’ our body. Even a somewhat modest dress can have an inappropriate flair if we flaunt our body purposely to show off. Not only do we have to consider the clothes, we have to check our ‘pose’. And most importantly, we need to continually let God examine our life for unrepentant sin.

As always, modesty has a lot more to do with our attitude then our attire. Being immodest can not only cause us to sin but we can tempt others to sin. Ultimately, this is the reason being modest minded is so important! It is not about being known as the most modest person in town. It is about not sinning motivated out of our love for God and remaining in continual sweet fellowship with Him. We can all dress modest for ‘the occasion;’ but does it necessary reflect our heart condition?

Her physical beauty is not hindered by a modest dress, like the one above. She clearly was intentional in her desire to flash her long slender leg in the thigh-high slit. I felt it exposed more about her character and morals than about fashion.

Our Pose Can Reveal Sin

In every heart is the fleshy desire to sin. The Bible say that the heart is wicked, and the desires of our heart lead us to sin.

All sin can be separated into one of three categories:

1. The lust of the eyes
2. The lust of the flesh
3. The pride of life

The lust of the eye relates to when Eve looked upon the fruit and saw that it looked good to eat or when Satan tempted Jesus with possessing the things of the world. Materialism is the core result of this sin. We see it and want to have it for our own. We buy, collect, fill closets, rent storage and go shopping for more.

The lust of the flesh is the desire to satisfy extreme pleasure. Eve ate of the fruit. Satan tempted Jesus with bread to eat after he fasted for forty days. And we are chasing after all kinds of wants to filling our desire to experience a sensual delight. We want to enjoy and have fun.

And finally, the pride of life is coveting a status or position. Eve longed to be like God and to know good and evil. Satan tempted Jesus with being ruler of all the kingdom’s of the world instantly. And we do what we can to network and promote ourselves to be remembered and to build a name. We want to be known and admired.

Our Pose Can Tempt Others

Unfortunately, when one person sins they often tempt others to sin. Angelina’s flashy pose was flaunting her new sexy dress, experiencing the pleasure of  being seen and flagrantly wanting to be remembered long after she walked off the stage.  She also tempted may men to sin by through the lust of the flesh.

Sadly, most women don’t think about sin or tempting others to sin. We live in a time when sin is made fun of and the standards are so low that for most people anything goes. This is what make living modestly so hard. We must remember the lost are only doing what the lost can do, they are sinning.

But we, being sealed with the Holy Spirit have a choice. Repentance is the path to living without being in continual sin. God grace is sufficient to forgive us of all of our sins and to cleanse us of unrighteousness. We only need to ask God.

Making Things Right When We Do Wrong

So when you are tempted or if you are checking by the Holy Spirit that you are tempting, stop and change. We would all fall out of our chair or off of the sofa, if Angelina stopped her pose, moved her leg in to be covered by her skirt and apologized to the four million viewers for sensually tempting  them. But this is the hard road that we must walk as Christians.

It is not enough to ask God for forgiveness in our private time. We must repent within the circle we committed the sin. No one should make a list of repented sins and post them on Facebook daily. But when we realize later that we sinned openly among a gathering, we must do the best we can to let that group know:

1. We have acknowledged the sin to God,
2. Received His forgiveness,
3. To ask others who were there for forgiveness.

Something seemingly so simple – striking a sexy pose – amazingly has so many unholy consequences.

Our ‘pose’ should always strike people to want to know God. So when you have a chance to stand before a group, strike a pose for God!

© lindyabbott for Is This Modest?, 2012. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: celebrities, elegant, fashion, formal, glamour, leg, oscars, prom, skirts, Thigh, thigh-high

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I remember a few years before my boys were ready to go to prom that as a Christian mom I started looking at prom dresses… and was I ever surprised! I told my friends that I would tell a young lady to go put some clothes on if she dressed so immodest – well, I was only able to tell one or two friends to be honest.

Most parents didn’t think the way I did.

It was like they couldn’t see what I could see. And therefore they let their daughters do what I could never. They approvingly giggle like a high school girl allowing them buy a dress for several hundred dollars that was baring so much skin: low cut necklines, backless, accentuating bust-lines, clinging to womanly curves, cut-out sections to show more flesh, high slits skirts, strapless shoulders, and everything other possible design that shouted, “Look at me! I am sexy.”

But what puzzled me the most on prom nights was not the teen standing in a slinky dress with a low cut front and bare back but her father proudly standing with his arms around his daughter posing for a picture. As the dad felt his daughter’s flesh didn’t it cross his mind that a young man would be holding his daughter and touching her body in places that were intimate? If parents are clueless, how can we expect our teens to have any sense of modesty?

I have seen moms show off their daughter’s prom dresses and squeal with glee when they turn the strapless dress around pointing out that only strings are crisscrossed in the V-shaped back opening. What are they thinking?

More importantly,

What kind of statement are you making in your prom dress?

Look closely at your dress. What does it say? Does it speak to virtues you admire and claim to believe? or Does it tell a different story? Could it cause a date to lust? Is sexual desire what you want your date thinking about all night? I thought you wanted a guy to care about you for who you are on the inside. At least, that is what most Christian teenage girls say in public especially when youth leaders and adults are around.

Often prom dresses should be called “High School Temptation” dresses or “Tease-Your-Date” dresses!

Do you think a girl can only be beautiful if she reveals more of her body? …if she looks alluring? …if she causes males to desire her, to want her? Oh, no, not me. I didn’t think about it that way. I didn’t know. To be honest, I never really gave that much thought.

All too often a girl wants a guy to notice her, to speak to her, to tell her that she is lovely or (to be precise) that she is loved. Most girls will say they don’t really want to be loved for their body. And that they don’t want to be thought of as a sex object! But, what do their choice and actions say?

And sadly, what is true in many teenage girls’ hearts is that they so longs to be wanted that they are willing to do what it takes to get a boyfriend. Only these kind of “boyfriends” are not really the kind they want, but they settle because their desire to be ‘wanted’ or ‘loved’ is so strong. This is a result of hurt. And truly it breaks my heart. Many teens have suffered because of absent fathers, divorce,  sexual abuse, ridicule/bullying and so many other painful past experiences that have told themselves that no one really loves them.

Sweet Daughter of the King, don’t believe this lie!

Let me remind you of a truth: GOD loves YOU! Don’t toss that away as a silly child’s nursery song. Jesus really does love you! He sacrificed his life for you and died for your sins so that you would not be trapped in bad relationships and bad choices. The grace and love of Jesus has the power to set you free from sin and to fill you with love – real lasting love. And He wants you!

So don’t believe the lie that you must dress to attract a guy or to keep him interested in you. Let God bring the young man that will love you properly and godly … and don’t be ashamed to go to a prom with a friend in a modest dress. You might be amazed how much fun you can have without compromising yourself and the values you deep inside want to believe are true.

© lindyabbott for Is This Modest?, 2012. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: dress, prom, skin

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This dress is elegant.  It’s a Sapphire color, which the guy you’re with will say “It’s blue.”  The skirt is a regal color, and the detail is beautiful.

The length is lovely, the ruffles are attractive, but it’s the detailing that catches the eye.  The material is shiny, but that’s not as big of a deal with a darker color.

The neckline is decent, with only minor maintenance issues, and the shoulders are covered.

What do you think of this dress?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: formal, gown, prom

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As the temperatures start to warm up, more minds will be drawn to the summer.  People everywhere will start to think of relaxing on beaches and wondering if last year’s suit will still fit.

We want to help you find the modest swimwear that’s right for you—whether that’s a conservative one piece or something that covers you head to toe!

As always, swimwear and modesty is one of the more explosive subjects, and that’s understandable.  Our culture wants women to believe that wearing underwear in public is acceptable.  And yet there is something to be said for making sure that you can get around in your outfit.

To that end, we’ll be showing different suits that are across the spectrum of what many consider modest.  We’re sorry in advance if your personal convictions do not favor what we select—our effort is not to attempt to display immodesty, but to help you find the right suit for you with regards to modesty.

We’ll also be featuring wedding gowns and formals, as we know it’s also that time of year!  Oh yeah, and a formal or two will be thrown in for good measure, because some of us wait until the last minute, right?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: beach, prom, spring

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This is definitely an interesting dress.  It is made of that shiny satin material, and it is accented by black outlines and bow.

The length is fine, the bow is a tad bit high, drawing attention to the bust.

Attention is drawn to the skirt portion of the dress—I’m guessing you never have to worry about ironing this part!

The neckline is nice and high and the shoulders are covered.

Your thoughts?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: formal, gown, prom

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This interesting dress has a number of nice features. 

• The bow is well placed and feminine.
• The neckline is high.
• The shoulders are covered.
• The length is just above the knee—which is about as high as I would recommend, because above that height you get into maintenance issues.

The color is nice, though it is shiny, satin is a big feature in modest formals.

What do you think?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: duchess, formal, petal, prom, satin

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Here are three visually interesting dresses.  They all feature a strong black color with a satin flyaway that reveals l’amour satin.

They all have an empire waist.

What I like about these dresses is that they have a very feminine look to them.  The flyaway portion with color provides a unique contrast.  The neckline is nice and high. The shoulders are covered and the dress is floor length.

There’s not much here to draw attention to form, and yet these are visually interesting dresses.

What do you think?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bow, dress, flyaway, formal, prom, ribbon, satin

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Here’s a pretty dress.  It comes in Baby Blue or Ice Pink and it looks great.  The waist has a band, and I like the position of the waist.

There’s embroidery near the hemline, and that draws my attention there and looks very feminine. 

The bust seems a bit stiff in material—so it won’t cling to your top.  The neckline is high, and the shoulders are covered.

The material seems shiny, but not to the point that it’s flashy.

Actually, I think the dress could work going to church or other outings than just the prom or a wedding.

What do you think?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: embroidery, formal, pink, prom, tea length

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These two dresses make me feel like I’m part of the magazine Highlights, asking what is different?

Both dresses are Dreamsicle in color.  Both of them have great lengths, high neckline and cover the shoulders.

Can you help me out and point out the difference between these modest formals, because I’m not sure I can!

How many differences can you find?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: a-line, bridesmaid, formal, prom

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There’s much to like about this formal gown.  The shoulders are completely covered, the neckline is nice and high, and though them hem is a little different, the front is even over the knee.

Again, the eye is drawn to the skirt portion, and that part is nice and feminine.  The torso could be considered a little tight, so take care to make sure that it’s a good fit.

It also looks like it’s made of satin type material, so our advice about shiny material applies.

What do you think?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bridesmaid, formal, gown, prom

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If you thought this dress was black, then you’re forgiven—I did too!  Instead, it’s a dark chocolate, with copper beading running down it.

This dress has everything that works for a modest formal.  The length—does this girl actually have legs?  The shoulders are covered and the neckline is high.

The dress fits loose enough, and it’s not of too shiny material.

This is a classic dress and as far as I can see there’s no problem.

Your thoughts?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: black, formal, prom, regal

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I think this is one of the prettiest dresses that we’ve reviewed from Jen Clothing.

I like the color, the style, and the under-layer is very feminine sporting a dot and flower print.

The neckline and shoulders are fine, and the length isn’t so that you’d walk on it.

I think pink and blue are great colors for women, and this dress looks great on the model.

The only thing to watch out for is the shiny satin material.  If it’s too tight or gathers too much, you could have a minor problem.

Other than that, this is a great option!

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: formal, modest, prom, sweet

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This dress is pretty cute!  It’s shorter, just covering the knee—but probably low maintenance.  It’s satin, which makes it shine, and the bow is cute and feminine.

The shoulders are covered, and though the white part of the top does draw a V, it’s like wearing a coat, since the under layer is good height.

I’m not sure how formal it looks, perhaps semi-formal?

What do you think?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: couture, dress, formal, modest, prom

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What’s interesting about this dress is that there are two colors that are blended into one.  Depending on which angle you view this dress, the color is different—which I think is kinda cool!

There’s a lot to like about this dress, and one catch:  It’s shimmery, which can cause problems for certain body types or if the dress is tight.

Other than that, the length is fantastic.  The neckline is fine and the shoulders are covered.

Best of all, purple is a really neat color.

What do you think?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: formal, iridescent, prom

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No woman that I know of wants to look frumpy.  Just search for the term on the Internet and you’ll see what I mean.

But as I was gathering dresses to review for Quick Reviews, I was struck by this from Jen Clothing:

When guys look at girls who wear a typical prom dress, they may see an easy woman, and if their interest is not in sex, there may be little else to keep them interested. After all, why spend time getting to know a girl who has few physical secrets from the world. Instead, create a look that is hot and beautiful but that keeps a little back, and you will have the guys falling all over themselves to get your attention.

Is exposure really all that sexy? It’s up to you to make the choice in how you dress and what message you send when you attend prom this year. It is possible to look fantastic without exposing yourself, and modest prom dresses offer you wonderful prom options. The full length gown, long opera gloves, and a beautiful up-do are just what every little girl dreams of looking like when she’s young, and the princess look is just as hot today.

I think I understand what she’s trying to say—that you can control how much you show, and that you don’t have to show everything to be glamorous.  But does the word “hot” fit?  Isn’t “hot” something the author is trying to tell her future customers they don’t have to be?

Perhaps we need to define a set of words that carry the meaning she’s trying to get without implying a whole different meaning.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 6 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: prom

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It’s prom time, and if you haven’t already purchased your dress, we here at Is This Modest would like to look at a few dresses being offered by modest retailers both so that you could see what’s out there as well as run some quick reviews on the topic of modest formals.

This first dress is of a “dangerous” color.  Dangerous because it’s red, and we’ve had some good discussion before about whether red is an appropriate color.

A formal is a little different than an every day dress, and this “fire-engine red” dress with “faux diamonds under the bust” is very formal without showing too much skin.

That being the case, the neckline does seem a little low, so there’s a maintenance issue there.  The gathering of the material seems to indicate the dress isn’t too type, but this dress would probably not look good on all body types—sizes are 1-12.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: carpet, dress, prom, red

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Here are some ideas:
*Take a trip to an amusement park – Scream on all the roller coasters together!
*Stay overnight at a Bed & Breakfast – chat, reminisce, and laugh together!
*Have a Bonfire – roast marshmallows, talk about some of your best memories of the year!
*Go to a spa – relax and get pampered together!
*Have a girls night on the town – go to your favorite restaurant and catch a movie.
*Go to a concert together.
*Plan and do a mega scavenger hunt!
*Have a makeover night – have all your girlfriends bring their makeup and give one another a makeover and take before and after pictures.

Whatever you do have fun! You can create a very special memory by just getting together the friends that mean the most to you. There needn’t be much money involved. Just value your time together and take lots of pictures!

© MommaJo for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: prom

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Is This Modest?

Erin: This is one of the cutest prom dresses I’ve ever seen! I love the gathering around the waist and the full skirt, but it still modest!

MInTheGap: Definitely a modest formal, though I typically prefer a longer length.  This one sits right at the knees, which works for this model, but may not for others.

Your Turn…

[ratings]

© Erin L. for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: clothing, prom, skirt

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Is This Modest?

MInTheGap: Though this is one of those cases where the dress is not to the floor, it is a decent length and I can’t see the knee.  That means, to me, that it’s not going to be as high maintenance.  The front is a square cut—though not my favorite, it is high and covers. 

Great dress.

Foy: This is being really picky, I know, but I’d like to see the shoulders just a half inch higher. I also don’t care for the “waist band” effect, as it accentuates her curves. Overall – a 4/5 on the modest scale.

Your Turn…

[ratings]

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: blue, formal, heels, prom, square cut

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Originally uploaded by Joseph Ong

When I was a young guy and my mother talked about girls that were out to get a guys attention– with other than pure motives in their head– she talked about tube tops. When a friend of mine had her senior photos taken in an off the shoulder strapless number she just shook her head.

What is it about strapless gowns that makes men like them and women want to wear them– because, let’s be honest, the two go hand in hand.

Suspension of Disbelief

Part of it is the sheer engineering feat– the fact that someone is wearing a dress that is supported just by the fact that it’s tight and a woman’s chest. If it weren’t for either of these two things, the dress would fall– and I know there are guys that would think this is great instead of how embarrassing it would be for the girl.

The strapless gown is drawing attention to the fact that the girl is now a woman, and that she can now wear a dress where it would have made no sense before.

Lots of skin

A strapless dress shows a bunch of skin. Whether it’s the chest, the back or the arms, you get to see a lot of skin that would be broken up with straps.

There was this one formal play that I went to at Bob Jones University where I caught a glimpse of someone in a strapless dress many rows in front of me. In the crowd of men and women my eyes kept being drawn back to her, because, as she was sitting in her seat, nothing but skin could be seen. It was hard to concentrate– to both know that she was wearing a fancy white gown, but to only be able to see skin. My mind wandered and played tricks on me.

Shoulders

Shoulders– to me– are part of a woman’s curves. They’re softer than a man’s and they round out her shape. They don’t give me as big of a problem as seeing other curves, or the outline of the body, but they do contribute.

They Have an Effect

So, I believe that women wear strapless dresses for some of these reasons– they want to show they can, they have an elegant, feminine look to them, and they have an effect on the guys that see them.

They also are not unappealing– I find that the photo in this post isn’t one I recoil at and say “this is just a terrible looking dress” but it’s also physically appealing. I don’t feel this woman looks trashy in a strapless dress, but I do say that there were other, much better, choices.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | 19 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Bob Jones University, feminine, pink, prom, strapless, strapless dress

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