In Psalm 45 we come upon an interesting psalm that refers to the wedding of our Lord.  Unlike today, the focus of this psalm is on the groom, rather than the bride.  Take a look:

The king’s daughter [is] all glorious within: her clothing [is] of wrought gold. She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework: the virgins her companions that follow her shall be brought unto thee. (Psalm 45:13-14)

Of the whole passage, that’s all that is dedicated to what she wears, and yet we can get a lot out of this Psalm when it comes to modesty.

The Focus of the Passage

This wedding announcement, as it were, is all about Christ.  It is He that is in focus at the beginning, His throne that is exalted, and His choice of bride.

If I understand this correctly, that would make the woman above His bride, and therefore the church.

Reading further we see, again, that the focus is not on the bride, but on the husband.  His power.  His majesty.  His choice of a bride.

It echoes the passage in the New Testament that refers that Christ is presenting to Himself a spectacular bride, free of spot, wrinkle or blemish.

How She Looks

And it is with this in focus that we look at the King’s Daughter.  She is dressed in wrought gold—the English Standard Version states “with robes interwoven with gold” and “in many-colored robes she is led to the king.”

What does this tell us about how she is presented—she is presented to the King in her best, and who wouldn’t be on their wedding day?

Our Role As Royalty

Let me challenge you with something.  As you read the details of what is transpiring with Kate Middleton and Prince William, think about your place as royalty.

You see, there will be a lot of focus on what the bride wears on her wedding day.  Every detail, every seam will be documented.

But even up until then, every fashion choice she makes reflects on her as a person.  Every outfit she wears is viewed through the lens of “does this fit my station.”

We need to keep in mind that although we are royalty in a heavenly kingdom, does what we wear measure up to who we are in regards to Psalm 45?  Do we show Christ, or are we trying to get all the focus?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: king's daughter, princess, psalms

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Monday, my daughter had some friends over, and they immediately wanted to play dress up!  So, in honor of this occasion, I thought I’d write how you could easily become a princess (old or young!) in five easy steps.

Step 1: The Hair

No princess would be caught dead with bed head!  So, the first thing that you need to do is to make sure that you wash your hair clean and then take the time to make it perfect.  This means getting all the knots out and then getting whatever hair product or feature makes your hair look the best and spending the time to make it just right.

While preparing your hair you’ll want to make sure that you have made your hair so it can support your Tiara—since you can’t be a proper princess without one!

Step 2: The Royal Hardware

At the very least you’ll need to have a tiara (as mentioned in Step 1), but you’ll also want to have on hand some kind of thing to hold in your hand.  Now, when you’re a little girl with older brothers, you’ll love some kind of scepter, because that’s what you can do to beat them back show them you’re royalty.  If you’re a little older, consider a cell phone.

Next you’ll probably want some jewelry.  Don’t overdo it here—a simple necklace, modest earrings and a bracelet will work just fine here.

It’s best if they match.

Step 3: Shoes!

Cinderella’s whole story could be centered around shoes.  I mean, who else could go through three different Disney movies and still be talking about shoes—which one broke, did it fit, and the like?

Make sure your shoes are comfortable—long lines of adoring fans and people wanting to get their picture taken with you don’t pair up well with high heels.  They should also fit well (of course, this rule doesn’t apply if you’re wearing your mother’s shoes to look more grown up!).

Make sure your shoes match your purse or clutch, and are not patent leather.

Step 4: Makeup

Here’s where the little girls have the most fun, and the grown-ups know that a little can go a long way.  You want your makeup (if you wear any) to accent your best features and to draw attention to your face.  You don’t want it to cheapen your appearance, and you want people to think that you look “fresh” and “young” not like you belong with the peasants.

Step 5:  Hmm…

I know there’s something I’m forgetting here, but…

Oh Yes!  The Dress!

When you want to look like a princess, a common dress just will not do.  This is not to put down the ordinary dress, the utility dress, or the playtime dress, but any dress that a princess would wear will definitely show who she is.

For example, here’s a gallery of some of the styles that soon to be princess Kate Middleton has been photographed wearing:

Kate Middleton VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

In all of these photos we see that she has a sense of style, and though we do also see her in jeans, that’s not the norm for her.

The idea is that, as a princess, whether you’re in your ball gown, or just out on the street, your carriage and your dress set you apart.  They draw attention to who you are, and they are beautiful

And that’s all a little (or not so little) girl wants to be, right?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2010. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: dress-up, look, princess

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In the Disney Movie “The Princess Diaries” we see how a normal everyday girl can go from looking like the ugly duckling to becoming a princess with some training, the right clothes, and the right attitude.

As modest women, there’s nothing wrong with carrying ourselves well and with having the proper attitude—in fact, there’s nothing in modesty that says that we cannot be assured of ourselves and wear fashionable clothing—just that we should make sure that we’re not trying to draw undue and incorrect attention to ourselves and that we maintain a level of purity, both of heart and what we wear.

In order to determine how to look like a princess, we must first determine what one looks like.

You Don’t Have to Be a Mermaid

The first thing to realize is that, though Disney has done a great job showing off its princesses, you don’t have to have a wicked step mother, start out life under the sea, or try to marry a beast in order to be a princess.

Princesses are born into the world the same way we all are.  They’re human, some have physical flaws, and they have many of the same passions as we do.  In fact, I’m sure that many of them wish that they had the freedom that their counterparts had (at times) and would love to trade places!

Poise and Culture

The first thing that I believe that is different between a princess and the “ordinary” girl is that the princess spends a lot of time working on poise/carriage as well as culture.  Gone are the days, in America, of finishing school, where girls would learn the correct place settings, how to walk with correct posture and the finer points of etiquette.

In fact, many today don’t know that they’re not supposed to chew gum in public, and what to do if there’s more than one fork or spoon.

It’s commonplace to see women that have poor posture, with the shoulders rolled in and the back slouched over.  Let alone knowing how to act in a skirt or dress—meaning, keeping knees together when entering and exiting a car, and the like.

We just do not put a lot of value in it, yet when we see it, it stands out.  Why?  Because it’s self control (which is also a part of modesty/purity).

For the commoner, spend time learning etiquette and work on your balance.  Try balancing a book on your head as you walk around.  Work on your posture—notice how you are sitting s you’re reading this.  Read up on Miss Manners and practice walking around like a lady.

Education

The princess is not unknowledgeable about what is going on around here, but whereas the “common” girl will be more in the know about the latest boy bands, the princess will know more about the world around her.

Because she may eventually be the queen, or at least will be meeting heads of state, much time will be spent paying attention to the countries around her—what are their capitals, who is the head of state, and, most importantly, who are your peers.

Princesses spend more of their time learning how to be a lady and things that pertain to her office than the things that are passing.

Focus more of your time on learning things that have value beyond simply your peer group.  Strive to participate in more adult conversations on weightier topics.  Read up a little on politics and begin to have at least some idea of the arguments, or take a side; however, learn to listen more than you speak.

Clothing

Most of what a princess wears in her public life is of higher standard than normal everyday wear.  Why?  Because people are looking at her as an example.  Photographers would have a field day if they could catch the princess in sweats or pajamas, and so in order to be a princess your clothing choices for everyday/outside of the house wear must reflect thought and a higher standard.

Going to wear a pantsuit?  It must look professional.  Skirt?  Must cover the knee and be worn with the appropriate leggings.  Dress?  Must carry a certain tone.

Of course princesses aren’t necessarily going to shop at Wal-Mart or the local Thrift Store to find their clothing choices, but that does not mean that one cannot find appropriate items that have the same weight for the right price.

Make sure that your purchases are of good quality material rather than simply focusing on the cheapest deal.  Look for things that are interchangeable, and focus your wardrobe on higher end/more feminine looks.  Make sure that you have a good supply of dresses and skirts, for they are the key to most feminine looks.

Accessories

For the most part, you won’t find a princess without many different accessories.  From gloves to rings to necklaces, the princess will have an assortment of items and she will pair them with the outfit that she is wearing to accent it.  I’m sure her shoe collection is quite extensive as well.

Have a couple of key pieces that you have, and practice wearing them as part of your daily routine.  Be careful with costume jewelry.  If it looks too much like a fake, chances are everyone will know.

Appearance

A princess will always make sure that, to the public, she looks her best.  That means that she will take the time necessary to make sure that her hair, her makeup, and her clothing look the best.  She will probably have help getting dressed by people that are assigned to her, and she’ll have more than one floor length mirror.

Make sure that you spend the appropriate time getting your hair ready and makeup (if you wish) done so that it presents itself well.  If your clothing needs to be ironed, do it—set it out the night before if you have to.

Conclusion

Looking like a princess is not difficult, but it’s something that’s a part of who you are an it’s part in the time that you spend.  Many will look at this and say they don’t have the time, but to those that invest the time they will find that much of it is well worth it.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2010. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: how-to, princess

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Homecoming Beauty
by RTD Photography

As a dad, I definitely look at my daughter as the prettiest little girl I know.  I think all dads do.  The neat thing is that you don’t have to be immodest to show off this innate beauty—you just have to know how to show off that beauty in ways that show your inner beauty.

So here’s five tips on how to look like a princess.

1. Pick a Flattering Color/Style

This cannot be understated.  The pink on the dress on the right is not only a great color, but it goes well with her skin tones.  Modest does not mean that all you can wear is drab colors.  What it does mean is that you’re a put together package and where the focus of the outfit is.

Pick a style that is comfortable, but also fits your personality.  Be aware of the time that you spend—he will notice.

The style of the gown should be something that’s not too showy—clingy material can draw attention away from you and toward your body.

Be careful of shiny material as well—as it has the tendency to show off everything because of the way that the light reflects.  In moderation, then can work, but be careful with it.

2. Accessories

Find a few accessories that can make your dress.  Whether it is earrings, a bracelet or a nice necklace, these things add a great touch to your formal wear.

3. Hair Style

Formal attire seems to imply that you must wear your hair up.  This style will show your neck and part of your back, should your dress show part of your back.

Personally, I believe that you could also pull off long hair, depending on the style.  However, the hair style should be special, as it’s not every day that you’re in a formal!

4. Makeup

Your makeup should compliment your gown.  It should not be overpowering, and even if you don’t normally wear any, I would suggest that some might help here.  Again, this is a formal event, not something that’s ordinary.

5. Inner Beauty

This isn’t something that you can choose to put on only for a formal, it’s something that you should have all the time.  If you practice humility, if you have a kind spirit, the outside will only seek to amplify that beauty and focus people’s attention on you.

It’s something that you can’t buy or put on, but something that you work toward and shines through—and that truly is the mark of a princess.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2010. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: formal, formal gown, princess

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Before the prom… the insane photo session begins!

Originally uploaded by Leia87

Is This Modest?

MInTheGap: This would be a great dress, if the front came up higher. Right now, this dress exposes a lot of skin. Even wearing a jacket of some kind would help a lot, but it wouldn’t bring it up high enough.

Like I said, a really pretty dress, but a bit too low for me.

Foy: Hate to be repetitive, but same here.

Your Turn…

[ratings]

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: dress, low, princess, prom, straps

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One thing that was always difficult for me though, was comparing myself to some of the other girls that were getting ready. I wished I had that one’s naturally curly hair (oh, how nice not to have to curl your hair for a fancy event, but have it be like that all the time!), or that one’s ability to afford an expensive dress, or this one’s petite-ness and small build. It is something I struggle with anyway, but in the normal ins-and-outs of classes and studying I didn’t always feel less pretty than the other girls; our differences didn’t always feel quite as obvious to me. But when, for a whole day and evening, our focus was on “getting beautiful”, it was easy to feel as though I was the one who stayed boring, and all those around me were so much prettier or cuter than I was.

Thankfully, my school was attended by mostly conservative girls who didn’t buy immodest dresses to wear, or (wrong as it is) the comparing would have even been harder–because there would have been “more” for everyone to see, to compare myself to.

Now, I’m not saying all this to get sympathy. I’m telling the story, because I understand that most girls are constantly aware of their physical “faults” (at least they think they’re faults). Their legs are too short, their hair is the wrong color, or they feel “fat”.  If you attend any sort of formal or fancy dance this year, you may find yourself making comparisons between yourself and the others around you…especially if the other ladies are in more revealing gowns. It might be easy to feel that you are ugly or heavy or short or thin or…whatever.

But I want you to remember that no matter what you feel your faults or problem areas might be, you are created in a special way that never has been or will be copied. You might feel insignificant or boring, but in your Creator’s eyes you are the most beautiful little package that He ever made. So don’t dwell on what you think is wrong with you. Don’t compare yourself to other people or wish you were different. Remember that you were made on purpose for a reason, just the exact way that you are. Get dressed up for your special event rejoicing in the fact that in God’s eyes you are a beautiful princess, a daughter of The King who was made for His delight.

© Erin L. for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | 6 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: comparison, creator, dress, lovely, princess, prom

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It doesn’t take long for parents to want to make their children look cute or handsome.  Whole industries have revolved around princess themes for girls, and beauty pageants now extend all the way down to the youngest of girls.

It’s definitely more of an obsession for the parents than the kids—usually meaning that the kids have more stress.

Everyone wants to show off how beautiful their son or daughter is.  In your parents eyes, you were the cutest thing.

The problem is that, for the most part, cute becomes making them look grown  up—or sexy.

They put them in dresses that expose the skin, they put them in makeup, and they teach them at a young age that they have to fit a certain standard of beauty.  We all know of the extremes, but there are many that are not extreme that are teaching their young boys and girls the same message.

Little girls are cute when they look like this, they instruct their boys and girls.

And I’m not saying that it’s wrong to dress up, to imagine yourself as a princess, or any of that.  What I’m saying is that we need to make sure that reinforce modesty as something that’s key even when we’re playing.  That the inner person is the one that we deem important, not the outer.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2008. | Permalink | 6 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: girl, princess

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