A common argument against the wearing of modest apparel is that it is nothing better than those that sell sexy clothing—both groups are objectifying women:

And, furthermore, this stupid idea that “modest is hottest” has come out. It’s preached repeatedly that women should dress modestly, but this is still sexualizing and objectifying women’s bodies. Each time I’m admonished to dress modestly out of concern for my Christian brothers and their purity, I’m being taught that I should expect to be objectified, that my body is something I ought to be ashamed of. The fact is that whether you are saying that a girl is hot because her entire chest is hanging out or that she is hot because she is covered up, you are still praising her for her body. This is objectification. I just for once want to hear that modesty is an issue of self-respect and not just out of “protecting my brothers in Christ.”  [Girls Aren’t Funny, Feminism, and Human Trafficking: Words I Think Need Said]

If it were not for the fact that men were attracted to women’s bodies we would not have a problem with modest clothing.  I’m reminded of this fact every time I go to my children’s swim class.  The boys wear long shorts and sometimes shirts/rash guards.  The girls wear form fitting suits or two-pieces.  At that age, there’s little visible difference between to two sexes, and yet the two are trained from even this young age that girls show more of their form when swimming than boys.

Objectification Begins

I’m not sure when objectification really starts, but what I am sure of is that it is a two way street.  What I mean by this is that men do objectify women, but women permit this activity—and I would say they even encourage it.

Just look at who the female roll models are for little girls growing up—who do the little girls want to be?

• They want to be the cheerleader, the girl getting attention in her short skirt doing all kinds of acrobatics.
• They want to be the “class queen” that gets all the attention of the boys.
• They want to be a supermodel or actress, and live a glamorous lives they see depicted on television.

We do not (usually) see them dreaming about being a stay at home mom with 4 kids in tow running to the supermarket in a mini-van because they just ran out of milk and the youngest is crying up a storm.  They are the princesses, not the servant girls.

The Realization of the Power of the Female Form

It does not take long for young girls to realize that the pretty girls are the ones that get attention—and the prettier they are, the more skin they show, and the more they flirt the more attention they get.  It’s a drug, a vicious cycle, and the problem is that this need for attention (and receiving it from a source that is improper) is feeding men’s objectification and taking it to new levels.

As women show more, flirt more, and are more receptive to the depravity of man, it takes more to attract man’s attention.  The fact that men can now see and be exposed to the female form in all states of undress and immorality for free from the privacy of their own home has done nothing but hurt women in many ways.

So, what does modesty try to do?  The modesty movement, “Modest is hottest” and the like, attempts to return women to a sense of control by stopping the cycle.  By unveiling what is happening in men’s minds, the hope is that women will see it and be repulsed and turn away—desiring attention from appropriate sources instead of getting it through “primal urges”.

And yet I can see where this appears objectifying in and of itself—it states that there is power in the female form over a man’s mind.  Does anyone really dispute this?  Even in Song of Solomon (long before the Internet), the wife of Solomon was rejoicing in her physical features and that hers were better than those of her sister.

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

So, let’s recognize the problem, and whether you dress modestly because you want to stop men from lusting after you (objectifying men to some degree, it could be argued) or out of self respect, let us all agree that this has gone too far and start to try to walk this back—if it still is possible.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2012. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: modesty, objectification

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I believe that there are a few basic reasons for lack of modesty among women:

• A girl doesn’t realize HOW different men are and what struggles they have with seeing women dressed in certain ways.
• A girl may realize that men have struggles visually with sexual temptation but may believe that she is not a temptation to any men due to her feelings about her size/shape/appearance.
• A girl may realize how much attention she gets from men when wearing revealing clothing and that attention makes her feel great, so she purposely dresses to turn heads because of pride and enjoying male attention.
• A girl may be unaware of the temptation men struggle with and just be trying to be “cute” and following fashion trends.
• A girl may not have been exposed much to the concept of modesty and it may just not be on her radar and she may be oblivious to the torture that guys must endure due to a lack of female sensitivity to this subject and not realize she could be a blessing by dressing differently.
• A girl may not have a dad (and/or mom) who enforced any kind of limits about how to dress and why it is important.
• Our culture’s fashion influence and blatant sexually explicit media influence can desensitize people to the need for modesty.
• A girl doesn’t understand how much better she would be treated and what a higher caliber of guys she would and could attract if she were to dress modestly and femininely. She doesn’t know the blessing and power that is inherent in modest, feminine clothing.

The way that we dress and present ourselves is a product of our internal dialogue and priorities. Regardless of our religious background or relationship to God, our own personal desires and priorities will be evident in our choice of clothing, makeup, grooming and accessories.

I Had Always Been Modest

When I was growing up, I didn’t think that clothing was that big of a deal and didn’t really think much about it. I bought t-shirts and jeans because they were inexpensive. I was modest because I was mortified and embarrassed not to be. But I didn’t dress very femininely because I didn’t feel very feminine. I didn’t think of myself as being that attractive and didn’t think I was a temptation to any guys. I didn’t realize just how much of an issue the whole visual thing is for guys – or I would have been extremely freaked out!

My priorities were: price, practicality, modesty, and comfort. Those internal priorities helped me choose the clothing I believed was appropriate.

If someone has priorities of showing how much money they have, or want people to think they have, they will choose clothing that lets everyone know it is expensive. Choosing name brand clothing and high dollar items tells people that your priority is wealth and looking “high maintenance” or “expensive.”

If someone doesn’t think highly of herself and doesn’t believe she has much to offer to anyone and/or is embarrassed about her body shape or size, she may choose to wear baggy, ill-fitting clothes, and choose to wear things that hide her shape or look unkempt or sloppy. Some girls actually choose to look frumpy to avoid male attention because they are terrified of attracting men.

How You Dress Is Impacted By Your Priorities

If a person’s priorities are to fit in with the in-crowd- that person’s choices in dress will fit their priorities to try to match whatever the popular crowd is wearing.  And, of course, the popular crowd is generally going to be wearing clothing that glorifies a girl’s body and draws attention and admiration to herself so that others will like her and want to be around her for her beauty and style.  The in-crowd almost always involves dressing in ways that are immodest – probably because a big part of being one of the most popular girls in school is to flaunt one’s body and beauty and to be known for being able to “have” any guy she wants.

There are many religions that use clothing to tell others who their followers are.

• Certain Jewish groups expect men and boys over 12 to wear caps to show they are Jewish and some Jewish groups require married women to cover their hair.
• Some Muslim groups require specific dress and head coverings for modesty purposes, but also to identify themselves as Muslim.
• People involved in Goth groups dye their hair black and wear certain make up and black clothing and body piercings to show they are part of that group and identify with the beliefs and mindsets of that group.

Our clothing is important because it is quite a bill-board to advertise to the world, without a word from us, what some of our deepest priorities are.

If a person desires to imitate Christ, then the qualities of character that belonged to Jesus will be important to the one who is following Jesus. If my priorities are love, peace, kindness, joy, humility, gentleness, faithfulness, purity, self-control, meekness and godliness- what does that look like in clothing choices? There are no set Biblical standards of dress. But the Bible does address women in particular that they are to dress modestly and both genders are told not to dress like the other gender. If I believe the Bible’s description of marriage being a parable of the “mystery of Christ and His Church” and that husbands represent Christ in the marriage relationship and that the wife represents the Church, that will also affect my priorities, my definition of femininity and the choices I make in how I speak, how I think, how I act toward my husband and other men, and how I dress. I want to be careful not to attract the sexual attention of other men, and I want to dress to celebrate the gift of femininity that God has given to me.

What is Modesty?

My favorite definition of modesty is that it is “humility in clothing.” Pride would draw attention to ME. Humility draws attention to God, by allowing men to focus on my face and my character instead of my body.

My attitude is that my purpose in life is two-fold – to love God with all my heart/mind/soul/strength and to love other people as myself – these are the two greatest commandments according to Jesus in the New Testament.  When I apply this filter and mindset to my wardrobe, I must be sure that my clothing honors God (and God’s Word says that my body is His temple if I am a believer in Christ) and that it blesses other people and doesn’t harm them.

So I choose clothing that shows I am a woman- for me, I love to wear skirts. They make me feel very soft and feminine. I feel beautiful when I wear girly clothing. But when I choose feminine clothing, I also want to do my best not to cause another person to fall into temptation. I like wearing long skirts because they don’t draw attention to the crotch/bottom area, (in the winter it is easy to wear leggings underneath for extra warmth, and the whole modesty question is handled, no risk of showing more leg than I intended to) and skirts/dresses quickly identify me as a girl. I am also careful to try to wear crew neck tops or higher collars, not plunging necklines or tops that are too short, out of respect for men that will have to look at me.

I also want to set a godly example for my daughter, and my son, about what it means to be a joyful, vibrant, beautiful, modest, godly woman.

I don’t believe there is one size fits all to modesty. I believe true modesty comes from a heart of humility that seeks to point attention to God not self and that seeks the good of other people and doesn’t want to cause them to stumble into sexual temptation.

© AprilCassidy for Is This Modest?, 2012. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: inside, modesty, outside

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From time to time we get requests from new blogs looking to get noticed and we also stumble upon blogs that are talking about our topic.  As we get opportunity, we’ll pass them along to you so you can read more on the topic!

Modthirtyone is a relatively new blog on the modesty scene.  Starting December 8, 2011, Anh Nguyen starts off her blog asking the question: Modesty: Antiquated or Revolutionary?

One of the more adventurous things she is doing is the 30 Day Dress Dare—where she is attempting to dress only in dresses and skirts for the month of May.  It’s a good thing she’s not trying this in January… brrr!

Anh also features ways to put together looks like Kate Middleton—there’s a lot there, and she’s very new to blogging and could use encouragement!

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2012. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: blog, fashion, modesty

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She ended up with some cute modest clothes and some great make-up tips. By looking at recent pictures of her, she was apparently persuaded over to a bit sexier of a look. Still not up to Hollywood’s standards, but she is seen wearing lower necklines and strappier shoes in some of her outings. And, at the end of the day, it’s her choice. She is an actress, and if you want some of Hollywood’s money, you have to look how Hollywood wants you to look.  [Reflecting Christ: Is Christ Sexy?]

What’s interesting was not that this young woman was persuaded to dress “sexier”, for I doubt it’s difficult to persuade anyone to wear clothing that shows more off when  you start getting the positive comments from families and passers by.  Surely, both men and women like positive attention, and wearing clothing that shows more flesh is certainly going to get fit women more attention.

This drew my attention:

When did it become important to be hot? I’m talking to you other Christ-seeking women out there. God does not call us to be sexy, hot, fashionistas. There is nothing modest about that. It is called VANITY, and that is not from God. Yes, he wants you to brush your hair. He wants you to be clean. But I don’t hesitate to say that He is not happy about the materialism that has invaded our Christian culture.

Exactly right.  Modesty is about not drawing attention as much as it is about what we wear.  The point of not wearing clothing that shows off physical features is not drawing sexual attention, but you can easily wear something that covers and yet still proclaims “look at me!”

As far as God’s concerned, that’s just as bad.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2012. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: modesty, what not to wear, woman

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The strongest argument for being modest comes from within.  This is one form of this argument—for those that believe in God, the fact they believe that He wants them to be modest and they have a heart attitude to please Him is strong indeed.

You see, while force from without is weak, force from within is strong.

When I was a kid, my parents sent me to our church’s Christian School.  That school had a dress code for boys that is much like business casual:

• shirt with a collar
• dress pants
• shoes

So, I dressed up for school until the 7th grade, when I entered public high school.

Since I had always dressed up for school, I continued to dress up for school—well, I stopped wearing the shoes in 7th grade, but everything else pretty much stayed the same.  My mom told me that in order for my convictions to remain strong, I must resist the attempts of others for me to compromise.

Was it wrong for my Christian friends in the school to wear jeans?  No, absolutely not.  Could I have worn jeans and a t-shirt?  Certainly.  In fact, I had people offering money to do so.

The point is that I was steadfast in my convictions.  Because of those convictions I had a testimony.  People knew where I stood.  I even went back to wearing shoes in 10th grade because one of my friends at the time said that it would look better if I did, because my sneakers (trainers, tennis shoes, you pick) didn’t go very well with dress pants and a dress shirt.

If you believe that God wants you to be modest, you have a conviction, and if you stand strong in that conviction and in His power, He will do great things through you!

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: God, modesty

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We’ve discussed before that modesty is about more than clothing.  True modesty must come from the heart.  It finds itself surrounded by humility, peace, submission and a kind spirit.  It’s more than just making sure the hem is long enough or the amount of skin that’s showing.

To that end, while we’re still going to be discussing those types of questions, I’ve got a new writer that will open up on Wednesday in a different direction.  While talking about the coming holidays she’s going to focus on the spirit that we should have towards others.

Don’t be surprised to find other posts taking a unique take on modesty—modesty of the heart as well as the clothing we wear.

And please, make Lindy feel welcome on Wednesday.  We’re glad to have her aboard!

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: modesty

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( Please don’t take this post of me being judgmental of people who do wear pants, in whatever style, form, or fashion. This is just my personal opinion when it comes to pants and modesty. :) )

Please feel free to comment with your own convictions and preferences. Yahweh bless!

© Modesty Convert for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: modesty, pants, personal opinions

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Q: Modern fashion is constantly pushing the envelope in terms of what it can get away with.  How can the Christian woman remain current (not looking drab, frumpy) while at the same time not succumbing to the fashion industry’s desire to market the woman as a sex symbol?

RLC: I’m a bona fide clothes fanatic. A clotheshorse. I shop in my pastime, and my downtime. I shop pre-season sales and post-season sales. Thrift stores and Boutiques. But my goal is to find the most fashionable duds that are undeniably modest.

As a professional model for twenty-plus years, I’ve modeled for some of the biggest names in the industry: Cover Girl, Tommy Hilfiger, Reebok, and possibly thousands more. But because I am a Christian, I set out to discover if fashion and faith could coexist without conflict. In a world where the most popular catchphrase in advertising is “Sex sells,” I wanted to find out if there was a way to wear the latest fashions without dishonoring God or developing a bad reputation (Proverbs 22:1). In my challenge to discover how fashion and faith can successfully collide on and off the runway, I developed these tried and true “modeling modesty” tips:

• Shorts: Fingertip length shorts. Stand straight with your hands down by your side. Where your longest finger touches your leg is the shortest length your shorts should be and still be considered modest while seated.
• Skirts: No more than a couple of inches above the knee. This is important, because they rise when we sit.
• Hide Undergarments: Wear colorful tanks underneath low-cut tops. And make sure tank tops have wide enough straps to cover bra straps (which remember, is under wear) or wear a strapless bra.
• If your jeans show your underwear when you bend over, pair them with a longer top to hide them.
• Too Tight: This goes for pants and tops. If you can’t pinch the fabric, it’s too tight. And “Skinny” jeans (Thumbs up-a tapered slimming jean) shouldn’t be confused with skin-tight jeans (Thumbs down).
• Cover Cleavage: I have a simple trick that helps me every time I shop: place four fingers at the base of your collarbone. This is how low your neckline can be, without revealing cleavage, even when you bend forward. Keep this in mind, especially if you’re wearing a V-neck top that dips lower at the middle of your chest. Pair these with a matching or coordinating top underneath.

We can wear clothes with confidence and not have to worry about anyone questioning our intentions. And we can always layer and shop with standards and not let today’s fashions dictate our convictions. More importantly, the best fashion statement is learning to show off our best side…our inside!

© RachelLeeCarter for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: fashion, model, modesty

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Another factor that has me urging in the chilly evenings are the outfits and different clothing you can finally pull out of the tupperware container and place on the shelves, previously owned by shorts and tank tops.

For this series I will be, as the title mentions, going over some autumn wardrobe basics. For some of you, what I share may not be your idea of a basic item of clothing,so feel free to share with me what you pull out of storage this time of year! I’d love to hear your ideas, tips and favourite pieces!

I will dip into a bit of what is happening on the runways for those of you who love modesty with a glimpse of fashion, and also touch on some ways to get the look without buying new clothes every season!

What an incredible palette the Lord Himself provides us every year at this time! So, let’s get excited because this is the season where you can enjoy both fashion and modesty quite easily!

© HeSingsOverYou for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: autumn, clothing, fashion, modesty

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One of the things that I do on a regular basis is look around the Internet for people that are discussing the topic of modesty.  The people that talk on this topic usually come from two different camps:

• There are those out there that agree with a modest standard and talk about their view and urge others to be modest as well.
• There are those that have lived under a modest standard and believe they have now been liberated from it; therefore, they attempt to convince others that this is not a command of God and is something that keeps other women under rules that are extra-biblical.

Is This Modest History

Over the course of this site’s three year history, we’ve been criticized by both camps!

On the one hand many have said that we’re not strict enough.  They’ve criticized some of the images that we’ve shown.  They’ve argued that some of things we accept as borderline are, in fact, immodest.  They’ve criticized a man writing about modesty and what women should wear.

And on the other hand, we’ve had many come that say that we’re imposing our standards on others, that we’re judging and that we don’t know what we’re talking about.  Some have gone so far as to say that nudity could be modest, and that they should be free to do whatever they want.

Christian Liberty

But in my conversation, I wandered over to The Unspoken Words, and got involved in a conversation there.  You can read the comments in their entirety, but eventually the blog owner closed the comments and suggested that the discussion could continue over here.  I’m attempting to provide that outlet, and I’ll do so by commenting on the last comment:

With regard to the last comment from “Is this Modest”: A man having an awkward moment at the bank, where he is forced to have self-control and look at a woman’s face rather than her breasts, in no way entitles him to argue that half the population should change its dress to suit his comfort level.

Women are harassed, scrutinized and demeaned over their clothing and their shape daily. Women in evangelical Christian circles are made slaves to the idea of “modesty,” constantly questioning and doubting themselves, making all their decisions based on male desires. This is not liberty (“Christian liberty” or otherwise) and I will not allow my website to be used as a platform for this nonsense.

My Response

One of the things that’s been annoying about this particular conversation is that the other people participating in the discussion seem to not understand the point of an illustration.  I had just made the following statement:

Until you’ve been the guy that walked up to the bank teller who’s wearing a low cut top and you actually have to actively avoid looking, look everywhere else but at the money she’s counting, and she’s totally oblivious, you don’t understand how a woman choosing not to show her cleavage or her legs helps you out and makes you admire them as a person more.

The point was that many women do not understand the internal conflict a man goes through—unless they’re intentionally playing to that conflict and seeking to entice them.  Hence the reason for this blog.

But I want to go back to the point I was making about Christian Liberty.  My point about Christian Liberty is that all things may be lawful for a person, but all things are not expedient.  It may by that a Christian woman may, with her Christian Liberty, wear a bikini.  But if wearing that would cause someone who thinks it’s sinful to do it, it would be causing someone to sin.

Furthermore, since lust is a sin, and it’s a male’s responsibility not to lust because that’s the same heart attitude as adultery, it would be a positive thing for a woman to set aside her liberty for the purpose of keeping her brother from falling.

Again, put the responsibility on the guys because that’s where it lies, but acknowledge that women can make the situation easier, rather than turning a blind eye to their brothers because “it’s his problem.”

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Christian, liberty, modesty

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Here’s my definition of modesty: A humble person who does not wish to have attention called to them and respects their body.

Modesty can go deeper than simply the outer wear. It’s your attitude, your way of dress, the way you think. I’ve said before to others, you can wear modest dress and still be acting like a drunken prostitute! ( Meaning you can still have modest apparel but have an inappropriate attitude. )

Pray to God and ask him what He thinks you should wear. Also, if you’re still 18 or under and living with your parents/guardian, ask them. The advice of your elders is good because 1. They have lived for a longer time and they’re more experienced. 2. They also are wiser.

Also, trust your instincts. Sometimes you know for sure if something is appropriate for you to wear or not. Sometimes you know and other times you may not. Just trust your parents’/guardian’s advice and God’s alike.

Hopefully this post has been helpful to anyone who has read this. God Bless!

Modesty Convert

© Modesty Convert for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: advice, modesty

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First Stop, Belts!
There are a few belt placement options available but one enhances the bust and the other helps draw the attention away from it. So you can guess which ones I will be sharing :). Placing a belt around the hips over a longer t-shirt not only helps keep your shirt in place but also adds a touch of design to an otherwise plain shirt. Wear any colour shirt and pair it with a thick or thin belt to up the fashion but retain the modesty. Waist belts are also a stunning look as long as the shirt is of a looser fit and therefore not attracting more attention then necessary to the bust. It is a fine line to draw with the waist belt as it could up the immodesty factor, but I definitely draw the line at umpire waist belts (placed right under the bust) seeing as these can have a push-up eye-catching effect.
  

Grandpa Sweaters
These are one of my all time favourite clothing items. In fact, I am wearing one right now as I type this. They are extremely comfortable, utterly warm and wonderfully modest! When I am wearing a plain tee with comfy jeans nothing works better then a long, bum-covering, over-sized cardigan to amp up the design of the full outfit. Check out these awesome pictures to get a good idea of how to style a grandpa cardigan.

Eye-Catching Accessories
Earrings, necklaces, bangles, over-sized rings, the options are endless! The only time you can really style large items of jewelry is when your outfit is relatively plain. This is perfect for your modesty clothing; throw on a plain tee, match it up with large dangling earrings and you only need to find a pair of pants that work. Long necklaces that fill the front of your shirt can take one tee and give it many different styles, just ensure it does not end at your bust as you already know what this does. One of my go-to accessories I often wear are scarves. Not only does this cover up a v-neck that may be toeing the modesty line, but the beautiful design options can match any season making them a good investment worn through the years.

There you have it folks! Some do’s and don’ts of modest tees! I hope you have enjoyed reading and digesting these articles as much as I have writing them.

What are you favourite design ideas to dress up a plain t-shirt? I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on the modesty of tees! Thanks for reading and have a blast being creative modest women for the Lord!

© HeSingsOverYou for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: accessories, christian women, design, modesty, scarves, t-shirts

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Scripted tees. Yes, whether it be designs, a word or phrases it all needs to be chewed over. The reason I found this thought so challenging was my own closet. I have many t-shirts that have awesome designs or band lyrics that I find powerful scrawled across the front. Where my concern comes in is where we are attracting the eye, especially the male eye.

I am sure we have all seen the shirts that proclaim choice phrases such as ‘I found your eyeballs in my cleavage” or “I’m up here” with an arrow pointing towards the woman’s face. These kind of shirts will not even be addressed seeing as if you chose to where this type of message I am sure modesty is not a factor in your daily dressing decision making. But, what if you have a favourite Bible verse on your shirt, a catchy phrase such as “I <3 modesty” or like I mentioned before, a few lines of a God glorifying song? Yikes…

Alright, so I truly believe that you, as honourable women, need to make your own heartfelt decision on this matter. It is not cut and dry and the answer is not spelled out in the Bible or a book of modesty somewhere. I spoke with my husband on this matter and his thoughts were that the tightness of the t-shirt makes a big difference in the attraction of the eye. If you are, may I say, busting out of your tee and leaving little to the imagination it would increase the immodesty level by placing lettering on top of the already attention getting scenario.

Here is a stellar test the Lord gave me recently. Shall we try? Be prepared as you may not like the results. If someone, let’s say a male stranger, came up and asked to read your shirt would you feel uncomfortable? Do you see yourself pulling your shirt off your chest so as not to feel violated? It is a good test isn’t it, although it may rule out a few of your favourite tees.

Here’s what MInTheGap had to say on the subject. “I think it also depends on the size of the print. If it’s something that’s easily readable, the eyes might bounce off quickly, but if it’s small, I think that you’ll find the case that the guy’s looking longer than you feel comfortable, and it might have nothing to do with lust, just trying to figure out what your shirt says!” This is a great point to bring up as once again it supports the idea that you have to be responsible for these decisions based on your convictions. Give that idea some thought and see how hard it is to read any print that may be across your bust. I mean really, how long do you want someone staring at your chest anyways…even if it is just to read your shirt…uncomfortable!

It truly comes down to how far you are willing to go for modesty’s sake, or the Lord’s. Each step must be taken in prayer and this is not an exaggeration. With these kind of decisions, where everyone will have a different opinion, it is the time to listen to the Lord only. Wording on one shirt may leave you feeling comfortable while that same wording on another tee may up the discomfort and decrease your peace level.

Ask the man in your life or your loving Father. I cannot stress this enough ladies. You HAVE to be honest with yourself or that inkling for male attention will get the best of you.  Are you glorifying your Lord, your husband and yourself by the outfit you put on today…even if it is just a jeans and tee?

You have survived 4 session of don’ts! The final chapter of this series will be dedicated to some do’s. It is time to suggest a few design ideas to dress up your tees and enhance the style of your outfits! Join me tomorrow as I look forward to sharing some of my thoughts and hearing yours in return! The photo above is from C28, an online store we are reviewing at the moment…check them out for great clothing ideas!

© HeSingsOverYou for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: christian women, modesty, scripted tees, t-shirts

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To begin, I want to express my love of fashion and design. I do not support the fashion industry in their choice of abnormally shaped women or their promiscuous way of selling their clothing. What I love though is seeing the gifting of creativity, although sadly it is often being misused. It is in this area of necklines though that we can get creative! There are two types that I would like to discuss today, the crew and the v.

The Casual Crew Neck
Some may only wear this cut as you really cannot get much more coverage then reaching up to your neck. If you stick to the crew necks be warned as the looser your shirt the baggier the neck. You may find yourself holding your shirt against you as you bend down but a tighter undershirt may prevent the show if worn underneath. So, as mentioned before, try the test. Bend down in front a mirror, what do you see, what needs to be covered?

The V-Neck
Although I feel an undershirt is a maybe for a crew neck, in my opinion, it is a must for the v-necks. Obviously we are looking at a lower cut top which yes, may look extremely cute, but really needs to be guarded. As mentioned before I buy many of my tanks from Garage but even then I have to pick the ones most high-cut. A side note on layering with tank tops has been addressed on this site before. A discussion was raised on the colour of the underneath tank and I believe the consensus was to pick a tank top that closely matched the colour of the v-neck. If we are trying to draw attention away from the bust area then accentuating it with two different colours does not help the situation.
Another concern with v-necks I have come across is what I like to call ‘cleavage shadow’. This is where your opinion will come in. I am sure you know what I am talking about, the vision of not necessarily cleavage but the shadow it can create and the curvature that may be visible with a v-neck (even WITH a tank). As I mentioned before this is where a genuine desire for modesty will show through. Will you take it the next step to eliminate the hint of shadow, or as along as all is covered then all is well?

These are questions you will daily ask yourselves and no matter how many ideas we share here with you at ‘Is This Modest’ you have to desire modesty. It is too easy to be immodest in today’s culture and much simpler to shop and dress that way.

Modesty takes effort and honest conviction but you are worth the respect that modesty brings. To top it all off it is great fun styling unique beautiful outfits that genuinely allow both the Lord and your true character to shine through. Be encouraged!

© HeSingsOverYou for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Christian woman, modesty, necklines, tees

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Views on dress today cover the spectrum from ‘anything goes as long as my private parts are covered’ to ‘I cover myself from neck to ankle and never wear anything bolder than navy blue.’

It is unfortunate that modest dress is a controversial topic in Christian circles. What should be a fairly easy issue to decide upon (and obey) has been fragmented into dozens of ‘sub-arguments’ about liberty versus legalism, law versus grace and shamefacedness versus ostentation.

Our culture is so saturated with immodesty that we have become desensitized to it in many ways. What was once considered pornography is now brazenly displayed on the magazine covers that assault our eyes at the grocery checkout.

The world chides us for being ‘repressed’ or ‘uptight’ if we attempt to uphold the barest shadows of modest behavior and dress. Even fellow Christians tell us that there are no absolute guidelines for dress, and that we mustn’t hinder another’s ‘liberty’ by insisting that Scripture gives us boundaries for our attire.

In the midst of this confusion, we find it difficult to ‘rightly divide the Word of Truth,’ dividing instead into camps of ‘us’ and ‘them,’ and wasting all our ammunition on our sisters in Christ when we should be building one another up in love.

And cursing the darkness may make us feel good temporarily, but we had better start lighting candles if we expect anyone to take God’s Word—and His commands for modesty in particular—seriously.

– Mrs. M. L. Chaney [God’s Women on Modesty]

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: modesty

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Michelle is “post-Christian”.  Yet in her post Fashion, Faith and Finding My Own Style she admits that she finds that she likes dressing modestly:

All the talk of modesty brought me back a bit. Well, not directly back so much as to a place where I could wonder, where was a site like this when I was languishing in my frumptastic must-be-modest phase in college? Granted, plenty of what’s on Cable Car wouldn’t be Jennie Chancey approved (I’m sure churches have risen and fallen over disagreements over the meaning of “modest”), but it might have brought me a fresh perspective.

Cable Car features a lot of great stuff in the styles that I, personally, like and feel comfortable in – as well some great and practical wardrobe advice. I guess some of my aesthetics might be holdover from my Christian days, except most of this isn’t stuff I wore in my Christian days, but a style I’ve grown into gradually over the past several years. And I’ve been nonreligious for those several years.

The interesting thing about a lot of things found in Christianity is that they have secular reasons surrounding them as well.  Whether it’s marriage, fashion, relationships, honesty or integrity, many of the things that Christianity stands for are good for everyone.

To me, this attests to a Creator that knows all things, that designed all things, and is aware what is best for His Creation.

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: general appeal, modesty

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This post was originally for a guest post on Jesus Couture’s Web site, but it seems like they’re probably going to take an ungodly amount of time to fix their blog, so I decided to put this up  here. It was still nice of them to ask me to write for them, though. I really appreciate the thought. Here goes…

I thought I’d talk about clothing within the church today. Since I assume that a good number of you are Christians reading this, I feel the need to address this very issue—sadly, it has been an issue. I’m sure that you recall that we are called to be the “salt and light” of the earth, which means we are to be set apart from sin and from the world. From what I have been seeing, it seems like a lot of us do not look at all different from the rest of the world.

What I really mean by this is that we dress like everyone else does, we see the same kinds of movies and TV shows without filter, talk the same gossipy talk, walk the same catwalk, etc. I don’t really see any harm in indulging in a lot of secular things—don’t get me wrong! I love my rock music, art films, and French coutouriers as long, as they don’t incite lustful thoughts for my husband or me. However, we should know our boundaries. We can still be part of this world but not of it, according to John 17 and Romans 12:2.

They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. -John 17:16

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will. -Romans 12:2

I think the problem with a lot of churches now is that we tend to want to adapt to our surroundings to be more inviting to others—this to a fault. To an extent, this is okay. We do need to be inviting. When a church becomes too gimmicky and hip while watering down the message, presumably to “dumb it down” for people they assume would not get the Bible, it is an example of giving in to the world. God’s Word should be straightforward enough for people to understand. This is something that we need to trust Him to take care of.

As far as clothing goes in church, I believe that we women should not be wearing the blouse with the plunging neckline, the mini skirt, or the tight jeans that most every other woman we come across is wearing. Christian men, including pastors and husbands, have confessed about lusting after women, both single and married, in their church. It is true that lust can be triggered by anything regardless of clothing, but there are some types of clothing that invoke this much stronger than others and as a direct cause right then and there. We can assume that men are trying their best to not lust after us, but we have the other half of the equation to think about, which is to try to help them (and ourselves, really) to not think of us (ourselves) as objects of lust. Lust isn’t admiration. It’s far more dangerous than that. It ruins lives and marriages, and it can start for a man from just seeing an inappropriately dressed woman in church and perhaps lead up to his seeking out and viewing pornography. Again, it’s a 2-way street. The man can call upon God and the power of Christ to renew his mind after seeing something that entices him, but the initial thought was presented by a care-free (careless?) christian woman.

If lust were admiration, then lust would care about or respect the person it is admiring. Lust, however, isn’t like that at all. It selfishly partakes of whatever is available then moves on to another (usually more desirable or intense) object of lust. What kind of relationship would it be if lust were the basis of attraction? Temporary and fake.

Most of the things that I write about  here are related to personal experience. I was not always a believer in modesty’s importance to the Christian faith. In fact, I walked the catwalk and even talked the gossipy talk just like every other woman in the world, and the main difference was that I believed in Jesus Christ. I was off to a good start. Jesus is the central message behind Christianity. However, I didn’t realize how much my clothing was a stumbling block to people who wanted to believe in Jesus or who already believed in Him. I came to realize that my clothes and some of the other girls’ clothes were distracting men from being pure in thought and serving God with a clean mind and spirit. The other girls in church and I were not helping these men with purity and doing our part of concealing our cleavage and thighs. I had to put God first and go against my natural inclination to dress to attract without any real boundaries.

I know it’s not fun to talk about reality sometimes, but not one good thing ever really happens when we wear clothing that doesn’t conceal sexually enticing areas. Clothing like that makes us feel good, but so does sin. However, modest clothing doesn’t have to be boring and awkward. I really hated and still hate unflattering clothing, but modest clothing can be attractive (though not necessarily designed to attract/distract) without being sexual. Some of the stuff I have on my blog includes photos of what some other girls and I look up to wear that might hopefully give you some inspiration.

If our God is the God of all beauty and creation, then why do you think you have to be frumpy to be modest?

This post was originally published on a la Modest’s Web site.

© Rachel @ alamodest.com for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Christian, church, clothes, clothing, john 17:16, lust, modesty, romans 12:2

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Alamodest.com is hosting a giveaway for Rey Swimwear. It is ending May 21, 2011 (end of the world?), so hurry and get your entries in!

CLICK HERE TO ENTER!

© Rachel @ alamodest.com for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bathing suit, beach, gift card, Giveaway, modest, modesty, pool, rey swimwear, summer, Swimsuit, swimwear

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Marcia at eHomebody asks, Is This How Christians Portray Modesty?

So, I figure that’s the perfect question for us.  What is she seeing?

1. This is a masculine look—white dress shirt and blue jeans—though I think that women can look cute in this kind of attire.
2. The jeans are tight, which is one of her main problems with this photo.

I believe that she has more problems with the author’s bio on Amazon, which I can see—she’s in quite a low cut top.

You must be careful when you start talking about modesty, because people will notice what you wear, and will compare it to their standard.

Do you consider Rachel Lee Carter’s attire modest or immodest?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: book, Christian, modesty

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God holds men responsible for their families.

That’s one of the most sobering and challenging thoughts that is my mind every time I approach the idea of my place in a family.

You see, God’s order in the family structure is Husband –> Wife –> Children, and that means that the Husband/Father is the one that not only has the authority, but the responsibility before God to lead his family.

All too often today, the man has decided to abdicate his role of leader, either to the mother or to no one in particular.  This being the case, some children are left on their own to decide what they think is right, and that leaves the father and the family in great peril.

Attention

You see, as a dad of a little daughter I know that little girls can be exhausting.  Unlike boys, girls tend to figure you out, to push your buttons, and to wear you down.  They test the limits to see what you’ll accept, and they desire acceptance (or at least display that desire) more than the boys.

It doesn’t help that we spend a lot of time telling girls that they are pretty, cute, etc. such that they internalize “Daddy likes me when I dress or look a certain way.”  So it’s a challenge for you, men, to make sure that your daughter knows that you love her no matter how she looks.

Modesty

It’s important that, as dad, you get involved in her life—and that includes in her clothing selections!

Hopefully you and your wife are on the same page, otherwise it can be even more of a challenge, but as dad (even though you’re not a woman) your input is important.  Your wife and your daughter do not see through a man’s eyes.  They may be ignorant (or play ignorant) about what they want to wear.  It’s your job to put your foot down—hopefully in a loving way, but in an authoritative way.

Relationship

Above all, you need a strong, loving relationship with all of your children—especially your daughter.  Why especially her?  Because she’s looking to you to be an example of who she should look for in a future husband herself.

While your boys will be looking to you for an example as well, how you treat your wife, what your interests are, the priorities you set—all of these things she is seeing and will look for in a future spouse.

Do you want to fix this kind of thing while she’s small, or when she brings home the guy that you can’t stand?

© MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: duty, father, modesty

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