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3:06 pm
February 18, 2009
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I asked this question on the "Are we teaching our girls modesty?" post, and Foy suggested putting it in the forum, so here goes! (here's the link, I don't know how to make it clicky if it isn't already: http://isthismodest.com/2009/0…..t-modesty/ )
How do you bring up to someone who is younger than you the need for modesty (meaning more covering clothing) when she is being immodest?
In the situation I am in, the girl is not a relative, and she tends to wear "skinny jeans", tank tops, and other clothing that I think would make guys stumble. She also behaves immodestly at times.
I want to talk to her about needing to wear more covering clothing, but I don't know how to do it without sounding like a Pharisee or a jerk. Any suggestions?
3:35 pm
July 31, 2008
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Here's where I think think ladies can help out more than guys, but I would think illustrating would be more effective than confrontation. Asking what someone thinks their clothing is saying could be an opening for more dialog.
9:18 pm
December 1, 2008
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Maybe sometime, when its only you two together, you could gradually steer the conversation towards modesty – but not her modesty (or lack thereof) – your modesty. But do it very casually. Maybe after going to a public event you could mention how you felt the eyes of all the guys – and how uncomfortable you were with the attention. Try to make her think that the conversation is about you – not her. See if she opens up about her own thoughts. If she mentions that she would like the said attention, ask her why. Why is that attention good (in her mind)? Is it good?
I don't know. I'm a guy, not a girl. Erin? Could you help her out form a female perspective? M and I are somewhat unqualified. :P
9:47 pm
July 31, 2008
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I like that, Foy. It's always better when two people can work on a common goal instead of trying to work on each other.
3:04 pm
January 29, 2009
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Personally I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of thing, in all my cases, I think my friends approached me first asking questions. So that opened a door to talk about it. But actually right now I am in the same sort of dilemma you are. I have a younger friend that has been saved just a short time, and sometimes dresses rather sleazy. I want to give time for the Holy Spirit to work, and I don't want to come cross as super judgmental, but I also feel like I should say something as her friend! So it can be a touchy issue sometimes and hard to know what to do. 
I do agree with Foy, after being with her in a public atmosphere and seeing how guys treat her or look at her, ask her how she feels about it maybe. Or maybe try bringing up the subject through other means…. if I am watching a movie with my friend or we're looking at something together, I will be honest and be like "Whoa that girl needs to cover up a little more!" LoL. Maybe its obvious but it usually gets us on the topic and it makes it feel like we're talking about modesty in general rather than all fingers pointed at her.
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