I’m sure there are many wives out there that believed, before they were married, that the only way they could get a man was to look “hot”.  Why else would you have young ladies going to great lengths to get or keep in shape, to be able to show off their bodies, and look at magazines thinking about proms, formals, and their wedding gowns.

The point being that I believe many women believe a lot of their worth is derived from their ability to look attractive to their husband.

But that’s just simply not true.

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When asked what my wife does, I usually responds that she works at home—and works harder than I do, but is that the case?

It’s easy for wives to fall into the trap of believing that they work harder than their husbands, and to use it as a wedge against their husbands to keep them unhappy.

But don’t take my word for it, here’s militarywifey’s Why his job isn’t easier than mine:
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The truth is, he probably doesn’t cook at all.  Sure, he can probably make peanut butter and jelly, but he’d be lost without you.  And yet he may still joke about the way that you prepare a meal:

“You cook just like my mother used to.” Really means….
“She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too.”

Seriously, if you’re the one that cooks in your house, I’m sure he realizes what a treasure he has.  If not, I strongly suggest you go visit your mother for a weekend and make sure to take the credit cards and the cash.  If he can’t get fast food, cereal only works for so long.

When it comes to little girls, dads are an enigma.  They are easily persuaded by them—and the love that they show to their dad.  There is a weird set of feelings toward them—and they can easily be confused about whether they should protect them or be hands off.

Dad can easily leave a lot of the raising of his daughter to his wife—her mother—and expect that “since she’s a woman, she knows how to raise a woman, so why should I get involved.

And yet if a dad chooses not to get involved he might not do a good enough job conveying his perspective and providing the protection that he should be providing.

You see, it’s the father’s job to help his daughter not only know how to dress—and what her clothing says to others, but to teach her the value of purity and model what he wants the man that she someday will marry to look like.
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The contentious, quarrelsome wife deserves a closer inspection. She may love her husband. I did when I was quarrelsome and contentious. So her love may not be lacking – but the issue is her PRIDE.

A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Proverbs 19:13

Better to live on the corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Proverbs 21:9

THE HEART OF A CONTENTIOUS, QUARRELSOME WIFE

As a formerly contentious wife myself, I can freely admit now that I was contentious and quarrelsome because I embraced the following philosophies whether I consciously knew it or not:

• I know best.
• I know better than my husband.
• I know better than God.
• I am in charge around here.
• I “have” to be in charge because my husband “won’t” lead.
• I am a victim.
• If only HE would change (be more loving, be a stronger leader, do what I want), everything would be fabulous!
• I am a great wife.
• God and my husband need my “help.”  I have to make sure things work out just right or it will all be a big mess.
• There isn’t much in my life that I need to repent of or work on to make our marriage better.

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How many days pass and you still haven’t gotten much done? And what you have done, does it really make a difference, does it really matter?

If you were to die today, would you have lived your life the way God wanted you to live it?

Oh, God… Him again.

I was writing about success from the perspective of a relative that is already dead (sounds kind of dreary-I know), but I found it challenging to be reflective, to look back at life through another person’s eyes.

Why did they do what they did? Why did little things bother them? Why did they put so much focus on some thing and not on others? Did they ever live life they way they wanted or more importantly they way they should have? And should have according to who?

Isn’t that really the truth? We live life the way we want, but not often the way we should.

Everyone does what they really put as a priority. What we truly believe can be seen by our actions.

They may not finish “it” but they continually work toward this priority. Words often don’t match to the real actions or lack, thereof of, actions. We each get 24 hours a day, but we each do not get the same number of days.

Are you wasting your life?

Do you write a list and check it off? Or do you address what crosses your path or drops in your lap next? How do you prioritize? And do we really live by what we SAY is most important?

Truth is few of us ever do. We are so distracted. I hear people say that pleasure is Satan’s greatest tool to keep God children from being effective on earth. I wonder if it is not distraction.

Is the tool we love–the internet–really a tool for good or is it used much more for evil? Are you wasting your life sitting at a computer or staring at a screen? And in ages to come, does what you did or said really matter?

So many times I feel like I am wasting my life, like I am running as fast as I can in a repeating cycle. I write, and do and speak but there are so many words in the world…they can’t all be heard or read.

Oh, God. Yes, Him again.

God  is our central core when we are making a true differences and progress. It boiled downs to obedience. 

You see, we can’t really tell if what we are doing is making an eternal difference, but He can. And we don’t know if what we say pours out only as rain that floods or as rain needed for the nourishment of growth, but He does.

As I am writing this, I see the sun setting outside the window. It seems to be rising over the ridge of tall trees brighter and brighter as the sun gets closer and closer to my eye level before it finally sets. And I sense God saying to me, “That is the point of it all. Finally, you said it! Life is never wasted when you keep me at the center. How can you forget? How can I make you remember?”

And He continues, “I am always shining brightly like the sun. You just sometimes aren’t looking for Me or listening to Me. Yes, you are so distracted.”

And I smile, because I know I get it – I hear Him. He is always there for me, waiting for me to re-center my life. I am so thankful and so blessed because with Him, I am not wasting my life. I am living for Him.

Continuing on in our discussion of maternity clothing I have learnt over the past months that you, as a woman, have to learn to dress a completely different body type. I have always been a slim build with small curves and truly have taken for granted how easy it was for me to dress my old body type. T-shirts, tank tops, dresses, jeans, most things fit easily without the worry of being immodestly dressed. Now, as my curves grow with the looming summer weather I have found it particularly difficult to dress modestly with the same clothing mindset as I had previously.

Have any of you other ladies found this?

The style of undershirt that used to work no longer does, what used to keep you covered up top no longer holds its place while you bend over. It is difficult! But that does not meant it is impossible, it just takes a minor mindset change.

1. Leave yourself more time in the morning or before an event to get ready.

I attended my baby shower this weekend and learnt from my last night out that I needed to give myself extra time to ensure my outfit covered all areas and passed all modesty tests I set for myself. What worked before for you will probably no longer be sufficient and so trying on various undershirts or even changing outfits completely may be necessary. Don’t get flustered and give in to wearing something you are not modestly comfortable in because you will only be pulling your skirt hem down all night or pulling up the front of your dress every 10 minutes. So, take your time, try on your clothes beforehand so there are no unexpected surprises before your event.

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