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	<title>Is This Modest? &#187; MInTheGap</title>
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	<link>http://isthismodest.com</link>
	<description>Where is the line that separates modest from immodest? -- We&#039;re wondering that too.</description>
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		<title>My Way or Divorce Court</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/21/my-way-or-divorce-court/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=my-way-or-divorce-court</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/21/my-way-or-divorce-court/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 May 2012 13:00:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decisions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[derision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswviesbelieve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[respect]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=9002</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;That&#8217;s funny,&#8221; remarked Laura, &#8220;Noah is the same way.&#8221; “I just can’t understand him sometimes,” added Tracy.  “At one point it sounds like we’re totally on the same page.  We read each other’s mind.  But then all of a sudden—“ “—he does something so stupid.  Then he claims it the only logical way, right?” “Exactly.” [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-width: 0px;" title="Amy Lee Smiling in a Tree" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/amyleesmilinginatree.jpg" alt="Amy Lee Smiling in a Tree" width="244" height="165" align="right" border="0" />&#8220;That&#8217;s funny,&#8221; remarked Laura, &#8220;Noah is the same way.&#8221;</p>
<p>“I just can’t understand him sometimes,” added Tracy.  “At one point it sounds like we’re totally on the same page.  We read each other’s mind.  But then all of a sudden—“</p>
<p>“—he does something so stupid.  Then he claims it the only logical way, right?”</p>
<p>“Exactly.”</p>
<p>“Men.  I don’t know why they’re that way, but they just don’t understand that we women know the right way to do things more often than not.  I don’t know how many times I have to get Noah to come out of his workshop and do something around the house.  And don’t get me started about how he doesn’t ask for directions,” Laura laughed.</p>
<p>“But does he listen to you?  Because I think that sometimes Adam tunes me out.”</p>
<p>“I told him early on that it was either my way or the highway, so he’d better listen.  Sure, I let him make a few decisions, but for the big ones I have to have the last word.”</p>
<p><span id="more-9002"></span></p>
<p>Many wives do not hold their husbands in high respect.  Oh they say that they do, but what their actions say is a whole lot louder than their words—from their actions you wonder if they believe that their husbands can do anything right.</p>
<p>The problem, I believe, stems from the fact that the two people are usually involved in two entirely different lines of work, and are attuned to two entirely different set of circumstances and stimuli.</p>
<p>Men are wired for work, for getting things done and accomplished, and they will usually have a single plan to get them done.  Having a list of things to do to provide accomplishment is a great thing.  The reward of a job well done is more often greater for them than the road traveled.</p>
<p>Women, on the other hand, like the journey.  They process multiple things, and they are less goal oriented.  While they like getting the job done, it’s also the process.  That’s one of the reasons they like cooking—they get to taste the progress as well as taste the final result.  Men just want the meal done—preferably 10 minutes ago!</p>
<p>It’s important that both spouses realize this in part of their communication.  They need to realize that both of them come from a different perspective, and that you committed to be with each other for life.  That doesn’t mean that you can threaten or head for the exits the moment things don’t go the way that you believe they should.</p>
<p>Simply because society has given more power to the woman in the relationship doesn’t mean that God ordained her to that role, or that assuming that leadership is best for the family.</p>
<p>God’s way is always best.</p>
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<p><small>© MInTheGap for <a href="http://isthismodest.com">Is This Modest?</a>, 2012. |
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		<title>Remember The Children</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/20/remember-the-children/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=remember-the-children</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/20/remember-the-children/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 May 2012 13:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[place]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pledge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sanity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=9000</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Something happens when a woman becomes a mom.  The dad loves his children, spends time with his children, but is still a man.  A woman changes, and is much more easily focused on her children than on her husband. It may be that the wife is more invested in the children.  She’s more nurturing, probably [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/womanbabyonthebeach2.jpg"><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border: 0px;" title="Woman &amp; Baby on the beach 2" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/womanbabyonthebeach2-thumb.jpg" alt="Woman &amp; Baby on the beach 2" width="164" height="244" align="right" border="0" /></a> Something happens when a woman becomes a mom.  The dad loves his children, spends time with his children, but is still a man.  A woman changes, and is much more easily focused on her children than on her husband.</p>
<p>It may be that the wife is more invested in the children.  She’s more nurturing, probably spends more time with them.  They were a part of her insides once, and they have a special bond.</p>
<p>The problem is that the primary relationship that a wife needs to maintain is the one with her husband—both for their sake and the child’s sake.</p>
<h3>Your Pledge</h3>
<p>The truth is, your marriage will not survive if you do not give each other the attention you pledged to each other.  When you said “forsaking all others” that included your children in a way.  You promised to have a primary relationship with your spouse.  Yes, you love your children and need to show them that love.  But that love cannot come at the cost of losing your relationship with your husband.</p>
<h3><span id="more-9000"></span>Your Sanity</h3>
<p>If you focus constantly on them, your husband will probably grow distant and seek to form relationships elsewhere.  As he finds ways to spend time elsewhere, your sanity will suffer as you spend more and more time with your children and less and less in adult companionship.</p>
<h3>Your children</h3>
<p>They need to see an adult relationship modeled.  If you show them that they dominate your life with your husband, they will have a warped perspective on marriage, and a warped opinion of their own self.  They will be spoiled and seek to control every moment of your day.</p>
<p>They are your children, and they need to learn that they do not take primacy in your household—you and your husband do.</p>
<p>So, remember the children, but don’t let them get in the way of your relationship with your spouse!</p>
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<p><small>© MInTheGap for <a href="http://isthismodest.com">Is This Modest?</a>, 2012. |
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		<title>He Should Know Better!</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/19/he-should-know-better/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=he-should-know-better</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/19/he-should-know-better/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 May 2012 13:00:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[David]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[expectations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[karin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toilet]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8998</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Every afternoon it’s the same thing,” Karin told her friend Kristin.  “David comes home from doing the chores and he doesn’t take his boots off.  They’ve got all kinds of stuff on them, but he tracks them through the house.  Doesn’t he know that I spend all kinds of time cleaning it!?” “I know, my [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border: 0px;" title="Cafe Meeting" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/cafemeeting.jpg" alt="Cafe Meeting" width="194" height="244" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>“Every afternoon it’s the same thing,” Karin told her friend Kristin.  “David comes home from doing the chores and he doesn’t take his boots off.  They’ve got all kinds of stuff on them, but he tracks them through the house.  Doesn’t he know that I spend all kinds of time cleaning it!?”</p>
<p>“I know, my husband is the same way.  I don’t know how many times I’ve told him to put the toilet seat down when he’s done using it, and he always leaves it up.  The other night I was trying to be kind—so when I got up in the dark and tried to use the bathroom without turning on the lights and waking him up, I almost fell right in!”</p>
<p>“Men.  They should know better than to act this way!”</p>
<p><span id="more-8998"></span></p>
<p>Why is it that when two people live together that there are unsaid expectations, and when you don’t meet the expectation you figure that they should magically know the expectations?</p>
<p>The only way for two people to understand each other is to talk. If you do not, the problems will continue to mount as each person will keep a list of things that irritate them and only reference them when they cannot contain themselves anymore.</p>
<p>Prevent fights from happening by keeping the lines of communication open and talking about your likes and dislikes.  You’ll be surprised at how much happier your marriage can be!</p>
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<p><small>© MInTheGap for <a href="http://isthismodest.com">Is This Modest?</a>, 2012. |
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		<title>It&#8217;s Not Really That Bad</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/18/its-not-really-that-bad/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=its-not-really-that-bad</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/18/its-not-really-that-bad/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 May 2012 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[broke]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laura]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[noah]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[porportion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8996</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Coming in from a rough afternoon, Noah sits down on the couch, clearly dismayed.  When Laura walks by on her way to the kitchen, she sees him and asks him, “What’s wrong?” “Everything.  Nothing that I do seems to work.” “Oh come on, you’re blowing things out of proportion.” “No, seriously, everything I did today [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border: 0px;" title="Little Black Dress 31" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/littleblackdress31.jpg" alt="Little Black Dress 31" width="244" height="164" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>Coming in from a rough afternoon, Noah sits down on the couch, clearly dismayed.  When Laura walks by on her way to the kitchen, she sees him and asks him, “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“Everything.  Nothing that I do seems to work.”</p>
<p>“Oh come on, you’re blowing things out of proportion.”</p>
<p>“No, seriously, everything I did today broke.  The potion I tried to create smells like my stinky socks, the television I tried to fix broke… Some days I wonder if I’m just not cut out for this line of work.”</p>
<p>“Well, it’ll get better with time, Noah.”  Laura turns and walks away.</p>
<p><span id="more-8996"></span></p>
<p>It’s a typical reaction.  We tend to see things differently than our spouse, and instead of listening and trying to get to the root of the problem, we want to pretend as if there is no problem at all.  We downplay and ignore each other’s feelings and we believe that we’re actually encouraging the other person.</p>
<p>A husband is sensitive, just in different ways than his wife.  He derives worth from his wife and when things are well with her, they are also well with him.  He can climb the mighty fortress if only she is standing beside him.</p>
<p>So listen to his concerns, don’t downplay them.  You’ll encourage him more in that you value what he feels than you will if you just pretend they don’t exist.</p>
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<p><small>© MInTheGap for <a href="http://isthismodest.com">Is This Modest?</a>, 2012. |
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		<title>Keeping the Inside Clean as the Outside</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/14/keeping-the-inside-clean-as-the-outside/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=keeping-the-inside-clean-as-the-outside</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/14/keeping-the-inside-clean-as-the-outside/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2012 02:25:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inside]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[modesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[purity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=9064</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we were first married, we had a dusty old vacuum cleaner—nothing like the modern HEPA filter vacuum cleaners you can get today.&#160; With that cleaner, every time you vacuumed the house you’d find that you could hardly breathe.&#160; And taking in that much dust—it can’t be good for you. It reminds me a lot [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Curious-Cow.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Curious Cow" border="0" alt="Curious Cow" align="right" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Curious-Cow_thumb.jpg" width="244" height="164" /></a></p>
<p>When we were first married, we had a dusty old vacuum cleaner—nothing like the modern <a href="http://www.amorwares.com/products/windtunnel-anniversary-edition-bagged-canister-vacuum">HEPA filter vacuum</a> cleaners you can get today.&#160; With that cleaner, every time you vacuumed the house you’d find that you could hardly breathe.&#160; And taking in that much dust—it can’t be good for you.</p>
<p>It reminds me a lot of the stuff that we permit to enter our minds and hearts on a daily basis.</p>
<p><span id="more-9064"></span>
<p>As important as it is to keep our outsides pure and modest, it is important to make sure that we are clean all the way around. That means that we should be taking care to put in to our bodies as well as making sure that the things around us have a testimony that is pleasing to God and hospitable to others.</p>
<p>This year we’ve been attempting to focus more on what is coming into our lives and through that focus I’ve been thinking more about what we let into our bodies.&#160; What is it that we spend time watching?&#160; What are we passionate about researching?&#160; Where does our spare money and time go?</p>
<p>It’s just like things we would find in our house or our kitchen.&#160; Whether it’s air purifiers, air conditioners, vacuum cleaners or dehumidifiers, we want our air clean, pure and moist.&#160; We want to filter out any allergens and make sure that we can breath.</p>
<p>When it comes to what we drink, we put in water filters, use juicers and blenders to make sure that we only get the best to drink.&#160; (Crazy thing that just a few generations ago water had color!)</p>
<p>When it comes to our minds, however, we’re often much more lenient about what we put in, and we don’t always filter it.&#160; I believe that a lot of the immodesty that we see today comes from feasting on immodesty in our entertainment.&#160; It’s not a reason, but an excuse.</p>
<p>So how is your inside?</p>
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		<title>The Only Good Wife is the Trophy Wife</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/14/the-only-good-wife-is-the-trophy-wife/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=the-only-good-wife-is-the-trophy-wife</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 13:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beauty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheerleader]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fashion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homemaker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[looks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[socialite]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wife]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8994</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m sure there are many wives out there that believed, before they were married, that the only way they could get a man was to look “hot”.  Why else would you have young ladies going to great lengths to get or keep in shape, to be able to show off their bodies, and look at [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-width: 0px;" title="smiling bride" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/smilingbride.jpg" alt="smiling bride" width="244" height="164" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>I’m sure there are many wives out there that believed, before they were married, that the only way they could get a man was to look “hot”.  Why else would you have young ladies going to great lengths to get or keep in shape, to be able to show off their bodies, and look at magazines thinking about proms, formals, and their wedding gowns.</p>
<p>The point being that I believe many women believe a lot of their worth is derived from their ability to look attractive to their husband.</p>
<p>But that’s just simply not true.</p>
<p><span id="more-8994"></span></p>
<p>The truth is that an excellent wife is worth far more than her beauty—and beauty grows with age, love and your relationship—if you were to look purely at the things that she brings to the table when it comes to how she helps him and his job, I think you’d be surprised.</p>
<p>A Good Husband reflects on this, with <a href="http://agoodhusband.net/2009/01/does-a-wife-make-or-break-a-career/">6 ways a wife helps a husband’s career</a>:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Fashion Consultant</strong> – She wants you to look good and is a good judge of color.</li>
<li><strong>Homemaker</strong> – Your house is a home and a place of refuge from the storm.</li>
<li><strong>Power Broker</strong> – Women have networks of people, and can help her man get the right job.</li>
<li><strong>Socialite</strong> – Women are naturally more social than men, and give good impressions to future bosses, etc.</li>
<li><strong>Cheerleader</strong> – She is the one whose opinions matter the most—he will work hard for her approval, and will be crushed at her disappointment.</li>
<li><strong>Confidant</strong> – They hear the the man’s emotions and can help strengthen and guide him by keeping him grounded and focused.</li>
</ol>
<p>Now, perhaps you’re saying “I’m not any of these!”  but the truth is you’re probably more than one if not all.</p>
<p>Take the time to realize your power, and use it to further you both.  You’ll be glad you did!</p>
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		<title>Making The Most of the Skin You&#8217;re In</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/13/making-the-most-of-the-skin-youre-in/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=making-the-most-of-the-skin-youre-in</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 03:47:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dermatology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[skin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=9052</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I hope that you never have a skin problem.  At one point in time, I did, and for that, I had to see a dermatologist.  Of course where I went was nothing like what you’d find at www.californiaskininstitute.com/, but all the same it’s nice to have a skin doctor happy. In my case, I had [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-9051" title="Glamour.jpg" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Glamour1.jpg" alt="" /></p>
<p>I hope that you never have a skin problem.  At one point in time, I did, and for that, I had to see a dermatologist.  Of course where I went was nothing like what you’d find at <a href="http://www.californiaskininstitute.com/">www.californiaskininstitute.com/</a>, but all the same it’s nice to have a skin doctor happy.</p>
<p>In my case, I had a couple of growths on my back that my doctor was worried about.  So worried, that he decided to remove them.</p>
<p>It was professionally done, and for the longest time most shots didn’t bother me because the feeling of Novocain being put at the sites was pretty intense compared to the normal shot.</p>
<p>I don’t say all of this to scare you!  What I’m saying is that we need to make sure that we take care of the skin that we’re in.</p>
<p><span id="more-9052"></span></p>
<p>For example, while getting some sun light is a good thing, using a tanning bed to try to get your skin the perfect color will end up not only harming your skin, but microwaving your insides.  Somehow treating my internal organs like popcorn doesn’t exactly sound like a wise thing to be doing.</p>
<p>And then there’s growths like I had, that you will need a doctor to make sure they are not suspicious.</p>
<p>One of the harder things to keep track of are warts.  They aren’t just for witches, and I’ve had one on my hand when I was in college that was difficult to remove.</p>
<p>Now, while we shouldn’t be parading our skin around for others to see, we should also be taking care of it, as it’s part of the body that God has given us to use for His glory.  We should be eating right and exercising, and we should also be doing what we can to keep healthy for the task at hand.</p>
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		<title>Antique Jewelry</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/13/antique-jewelry/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=antique-jewelry</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 03:34:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jewelry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vintage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=9047</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the interesting things about fashion is that things have a way of coming around again.  Fashions come and go as quickly as bell bottoms flared jeans. It is kind of the same way with jewelry.  At www.georgianjewelry.com you can find a lot of different antique and vintage jewelry—beautiful pieces that you may enjoy! [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Glowing-Gem.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; padding-top: 0px; border: 0px;" title="Glowing Gem" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Glowing-Gem_thumb.jpg" alt="Glowing Gem" width="171" height="170" align="right" border="0" /></a>One of the interesting things about fashion is that things have a way of coming around again.  Fashions come and go as quickly as <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">bell bottoms</span> flared jeans.</p>
<p>It is kind of the same way with jewelry.  At <a href="http://www.georgianjewelry.com">www.georgianjewelry.com</a> you can find a lot of different antique and vintage jewelry—beautiful pieces that you may enjoy!</p>
<p>Something that has been in the family or has an older style can come back into popularity, and you could find that the heirloom may be in style—or has inspired a style.</p>
<p><span id="more-9047"></span></p>
<p>There are simply beautiful necklaces and rings.  One of the types of jewelry I’ve purchased before is a locket, and I think this is a neat piece of jewelry for a younger girl.  It’s something that they can wear around their heart, and keep pictures of mom and dad in.  That is who you keep in a locket, right?</p>
<p>How many of you have an heirloom ring?  I don’t believe there is even one in my family if I had wanted to give one to my wife.  What if you could find a vintage piece that would have the look of an heirloom, and be something that you could pass down to the next generation?</p>
<p>The point is, there are many places that you can get jewelry, and there are places that will make you something new, if you’re clever enough to come up with something on your own.  So why not take advantage of vintage jewelry, since it’s something that may surprise you and you may find that unique thing that you’ll really like.</p>
<p>Though the Bible is clear that our outward adornment is not the priority, and we should not seek to glorify the external, it does not outright condemn jewelry.  Therefore, I find that simple jewelry that does not attract too much attention is fine, and fitting beauty.</p>
<p>What is your opinion on jewelry?</p>
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		<title>Managing that Smile</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/13/managing-that-smile/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=managing-that-smile</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 03:10:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[braces]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[invisalign]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teeth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=9042</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When you look at the smile on the girl to the right, what do you see? Yes, for those of us with bad teeth, our options were limited growing up.&#160; You could have a mouth filled with metal for a few years—which would plague your high school years, be in every photo in every year [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Braces &amp; Flower" border="0" alt="Braces &amp; Flower" align="right" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/braces-and-flowers.jpg" width="273" height="169" /></p>
<p>When you look at the smile on the girl to the right, what do you see?</p>
<p>Yes, for those of us with bad teeth, our options were limited growing up.&#160; You could have a mouth filled with metal for a few years—which would plague your high school years, be in every photo in every year book, and make you talk funny—or you could go without.</p>
<p>Enter <a href="http://www.invisalign.com/">Invisalign</a>, the new way to do braces where the braces are clear, and they use technology to move your teeth instead of metal.</p>
<p><span id="more-9042"></span>
<p>Well, when I say technology, what I mean is that they use a computer to map where your teeth are now, and where they should end up.&#160; Then, the computer can make models for each step along the way.&#160; You put the plastic frame in your mouth, and it’s just enough force to move your teeth to the next step.</p>
<p>Feel the pressure at the beginning of the time period, at the end it’s not so bad—just in time to get the next step and continue the progress!</p>
<p>Not only do you not look like you have a mouth full of metal, but your teeth are straighter, and cleaning them is easier!</p>
<p>The smile is an important thing when it comes to modesty.&#160; We want people to be looking at your face, and yet what do you see when your teeth look yellowed, misaligned or with braces—that you’re a work in progress.&#160; I mean, can you remember the plot lines of shows from the 90s, you’ll see the “ugly duckling” had huge metal braces, and when they were gone, she became amazing looking.</p>
<p>For me, I never wanted braces because my neighbor had them.&#160; I thought they were a pain, they cut the inside of his lip, they were expensive, and I almost gagged on the molding compound!</p>
<p>But for you, you can get an <a href="http://www.nvorthocare.com/">Invisalign treatment in Henderson</a>, or somewhere close to you and you don’t have to have any of this!&#160; It’s enough to make me want to look into it—would it be weird to have a dad and his kids in braces at the same time? </p>
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		<title>His Job Is Easier Than Mine</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/13/his-job-is-easier-than-mine/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=his-job-is-easier-than-mine</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 13 May 2012 13:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[easier]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Job]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8991</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When asked what my wife does, I usually responds that she works at home—and works harder than I do, but is that the case? It’s easy for wives to fall into the trap of believing that they work harder than their husbands, and to use it as a wedge against their husbands to keep them [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border: 0px;" title="the game" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/thegame.jpg" alt="the game" width="244" height="184" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>When asked what my wife does, I usually responds that she works at home—and works harder than I do, but is that the case?</p>
<p>It’s easy for wives to fall into the trap of believing that they work harder than their husbands, and to use it as a wedge against their husbands to keep them unhappy.</p>
<p>But don’t take my word for it, here’s militarywifey’s <a href="http://whereverheleadsme.wordpress.com/2009/02/12/why-his-job-isnt-easier-than-mine/">Why his job isn’t easier than mine</a>:<br />
<span id="more-8991"></span></p>
<blockquote><p>Now the fact that our husbands work does not absolve them of parental responsibility. A parent is a parent no matter the condition. However, it does mean that they are not to be scolded or unfairly demeaned for not doing all the housework when they have a 40+ hr a week job to attend to. I’m talking about this from the viewpoint of a stay-at-home wife and/or mother. We shouldn’t malign our husbands because they don’t come home and make us steak dinner every night in addition to vaccuuming the living room. We do not marry men so they can serve us. Neither do men marry us so we can primarily serve them. We marry each other so we can serve each other in different ways. In many marriages, and in mine in particular, my husband serves me through his providing for the family. I serve my husband through being his loving wife, through supporting his career, through raising our child, through attending to our home, and through being his help-meet. And I am glad to be his help-meet. I am glad to be able to be there for him. I am glad to help him in any way possible.</p></blockquote>
<p>This is completely true—we both are together to serve each other.  Wife, if you have the ability to stay at home, chances are it’s because your husband is able to make enough money for you to do it.  Many wives are working because they have to (either perceived or through the choices that the couple has made).</p>
<p>It’s both perspective and loving service!</p>
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		<title>About Your Cooking</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/12/about-your-cooking/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=about-your-cooking</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 12 May 2012 13:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cooking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8989</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The truth is, he probably doesn’t cook at all.  Sure, he can probably make peanut butter and jelly, but he’d be lost without you.  And yet he may still joke about the way that you prepare a meal: &#8220;You cook just like my mother used to.&#8221; Really means&#8230;. &#8220;She used the smoke detector as a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-width: 0px;" title="Engaged" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/engaged.jpg" alt="Engaged" width="244" height="164" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>The truth is, he probably doesn’t cook at all.  Sure, he can probably make peanut butter and jelly, but he’d be lost without you.  And yet he may still joke about the way that you prepare a meal:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;You cook just like my mother used to.&#8221; Really means&#8230;.<br />
&#8220;She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>Seriously, if you’re the one that cooks in your house, I’m sure he realizes what a treasure he has.  If not, I strongly suggest you go visit your mother for a weekend and make sure to take the credit cards and the cash.  If he can’t get fast food, cereal only works for so long.</p>
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		<title>Keeping Your Daughter Pure Is Your Responsibility</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/11/keeping-your-daughter-pure-is-your-responsibility/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=keeping-your-daughter-pure-is-your-responsibility</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/11/keeping-your-daughter-pure-is-your-responsibility/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 May 2012 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8987</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When it comes to little girls, dads are an enigma.  They are easily persuaded by them—and the love that they show to their dad.  There is a weird set of feelings toward them—and they can easily be confused about whether they should protect them or be hands off. Dad can easily leave a lot of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-8857" title="father-and-daughter-beach.jpg" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/father-and-daughter-beach.jpg" alt="" width="244" height="184" />When it comes to little girls, dads are an enigma.  They are easily persuaded by them—and the love that they show to their dad.  There is a weird set of feelings toward them—and they can easily be confused about whether they should protect them or be hands off.</p>
<p>Dad can easily leave a lot of the raising of his daughter to his wife—her mother—and expect that “since she’s a woman, she knows how to raise a woman, so why should I get involved.</p>
<p>And yet if a dad chooses not to get involved he might not do a good enough job conveying his perspective and providing the protection that he should be providing.</p>
<p>You see, it’s the father’s job to help his daughter not only know how to dress—and what her clothing says to others, but to teach her the value of purity and model what he wants the man that she someday will marry to look like.<br />
<span id="more-8987"></span></p>
<h3>Dad as Example</h3>
<p>I often thought that a mother would be the one that would do most of the work bringing up a daughter.  I had visions of the two of them cooking together, and enjoying mutual interests.  I expected to teach my sons how to play ball, how to fix things, and perhaps how to blog.  It’s weird how we compartmentalize our roles!</p>
<p>The thing is, each parent is an example to the kids of what a healthy relationship looks like.  Mom is not only showing her daughter how to love her husband and take care of the house, but she’s also showing her sons what to look for in a wife.</p>
<p>The same thing goes for dad—but a lot of the time I don’t think dads realize the power that they have with their daughters, and so they marginalize themselves.</p>
<h3>Get Involved</h3>
<p>Don’t let dad remain detached from any of his children.  Make sure he gets involved with his daughter and shows her what a good man looks like.  Make sure that he helps show her modesty and purity—and don’t be afraid to ask his opinion about what clothes you wear either!</p>
<p>It’s his function, as the man in the house that he be able to share his perspective and difference of opinion—he will see the clothing that you and your daughters wear as a man would see them, not as how cute or fashionable you might think something immodest is.</p>
<p>If you want him to lead and fulfill his role, you need to encourage his participation—your whole family will be better for it!</p>
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		<title>How Do You Like My Driving?</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/07/how-do-you-like-my-driving/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=how-do-you-like-my-driving</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/07/how-do-you-like-my-driving/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 May 2012 13:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[driving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[maniac]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meeting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8985</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the things that I’ve had to continually remind myself is that it’s no good getting in rush to be late to end up pulled over on the side of the road or worse—in the hospital because of an accident. Still, it’s hard not to want to speed when you’re going to be late—and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-width: 0px;" title="driver" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/driver.jpg" alt="driver" width="244" height="184" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>One of the things that I’ve had to continually remind myself is that it’s no good getting in rush to be late to end up pulled over on the side of the road or worse—in the hospital because of an accident.</p>
<p>Still, it’s hard not to want to speed when you’re going to be late—and worse when you think going a little faster would be the difference of being late and being on time.</p>
<p>So, here’s where today’s lie comes in to play:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;We&#8217;re going to be late.&#8221; Really means&#8230;.<br />
&#8220;Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p><span id="more-8985"></span>There is never a legitimate reason to drive like a maniac.  Your family depends on you, and is more important than any meeting or anything that you might be late for.</p>
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		<title>Just How Much &#8220;Work&#8221; Does He Do?</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/06/just-how-much-work-does-he-do/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=just-how-much-work-does-he-do</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 06 May 2012 13:00:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comparison]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relax]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8983</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m sure your husband feels that he does a lot of work, and I’m sure that he does, in his own way.  The interesting thing in today’s lie is that there’s truth in both directions, and that there’s a difference in expectations. &#8220;I got a lot done.&#8221; Really means&#8230;. &#8220;I found &#8216;Waldo&#8217; in almost every [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/boyandgirl.jpg"><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-width: 0px;" title="boy and girl" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/boyandgirl-thumb.jpg" alt="boy and girl" width="244" height="164" align="right" border="0" /></a>I’m sure your husband feels that he does a lot of work, and I’m sure that he does, in his own way.  The interesting thing in today’s lie is that there’s truth in both directions, and that there’s a difference in expectations.</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;I got a lot done.&#8221; Really means&#8230;.<br />
&#8220;I found &#8216;Waldo&#8217; in almost every picture.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>Wives, how many times have you looked at your husband and you have seen him sitting there watching television or doing something on the computer and you have judged him?  On second thought, don’t try to count.</p>
<p><span id="more-8983"></span>From your perspective, you do a lot of work, and your work doesn’t end until it’s time for bed.  From his perspective, work is something he does at his day job, and he expects it to end when he comes home.  Home is a chance for him to stop working.</p>
<p>That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a responsibility to do things around the house.  It just means that you have to understand his perspective before you can reach him without sounding like you’re nagging him.</p>
<p>And, if truth be told, I’m pretty sure that some of you ladies should be taking a break instead of continuing to work, because if you do rest during the day I’m sure you’d be healthier and happier!</p>
<p>Boiling it down:</p>
<ul>
<li>Don’t fall into the trap of comparison.</li>
<li>Have a defined list of things you want to get done that are reasonable, and do them.</li>
<li>Make sure you plan time to relax and wind down.  Neither of you benefit if only one is doing all the work, but don’t do overkill.</li>
</ul>
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		<title>Getting More Exercise</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/05/getting-more-exercise/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=getting-more-exercise</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/05/getting-more-exercise/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 05 May 2012 13:00:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dodge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fitness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[remote control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[walks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weight]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8980</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We joke, but may people in America could stand to lose a few pounds.  Odds are your husband is one of them. The problem is laziness—and it’s funny what we’ll do in order to be lazy. &#8220;I&#8217;m getting more exercise lately.&#8221; Really means&#8230;. The batteries in the remote are dead.&#8221; Growing up in my house, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-width: 0px;" title="Remote Control" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/remotecontrol.jpg" alt="Remote Control" width="244" height="184" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>We joke, but may people in America could stand to lose a few pounds.  Odds are your husband is one of them.</p>
<p>The problem is laziness—and it’s funny what we’ll do in order to be lazy.</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m getting more exercise lately.&#8221; Really means&#8230;.<br />
The batteries in the remote are dead.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>Growing up in my house, we didn’t have a remote control—well we did, it was me.</p>
<p><span id="more-8980"></span>Still, this is a dodge just like many of the other dodges, and we need to call it for what it is.  Get that gym membership, get a piece of fitness equipment and use it, or just go for walks together.</p>
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		<title>Does He Have a Clue?</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/04/does-he-have-a-clue/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=does-he-have-a-clue</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 04 May 2012 13:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[complicated]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8977</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Men like to think they know everything.  That’s part of the reason (I’m sure) why they don’t stop for directions, they don’t read the instructions, and what makes it more irritating is that they will seldom admit to their lack of knowledge on a particular subject: &#8220;It would take too long to explain.&#8221; Really means&#8230;. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-width: 0px;" title="men looking inquisitively at the sky" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/menlookinginquisitivelyatthesky.jpg" alt="men looking inquisitively at the sky" width="244" height="184" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>Men like to think they know everything.  That’s part of the reason (I’m sure) why they don’t stop for directions, they don’t read the instructions, and what makes it more irritating is that they will seldom admit to their lack of knowledge on a particular subject:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;It would take too long to explain.&#8221; Really means&#8230;.<br />
&#8220;I have no idea how it works.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>I’m sure all of your heads are nodding in agreement.</p>
<p><span id="more-8977"></span></p>
<p>Wives, I think that this lie will not be a problem for your husband if you respect him.  Husbands are pretty simple creatures.  They have very few things on their mind—as you’re probably well aware—but they crave respect.  That’s why, when you were dating, your husband probably would go to the ends of the Earth for you.</p>
<p>He might still do that if you treat him with respect.</p>
<p>He’s telling you that it’s too complicated or that it would take too long to explain because, in some ways, this means that you still need him.  This is part of his ability to say that he has what it takes to get the job done.  He has a need to feel needed—he just doesn’t want it known.</p>
<p>Let him know that you respect him, give him room to be your hero in the everyday, and I believe that you won’t have to worry about this one.</p>
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		<title>She Just Doesn&#8217;t Understand Me</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/02/she-just-doesnt-understand-me/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=she-just-doesnt-understand-me</link>
		<comments>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/02/she-just-doesnt-understand-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 May 2012 13:00:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lieswivesbelieve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8975</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A lot of times when men say “She doesn’t understand me” it’s an excuse because they haven’t tried hard enough, but sometimes it’s because she’s just gotten to the point where she knows all your stories: &#8220;My wife doesn&#8217;t understand me.&#8221; Really means&#8230;. &#8220;She&#8217;s heard all my stories before, and is tired of them.&#8221; Men [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="display: inline; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-width: 0px;" title="Man Alone" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/manalone.jpg" alt="Man Alone" width="244" height="215" align="right" border="0" /></p>
<p>A lot of times when men say “She doesn’t understand me” it’s an excuse because they haven’t tried hard enough, but sometimes it’s because she’s just gotten to the point where she knows all your stories:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;My wife doesn&#8217;t understand me.&#8221; Really means&#8230;.</p>
<p>&#8220;She&#8217;s heard all my stories before, and is tired of them.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>Men have trouble with communication.  It’s not that they have trouble talking—it’s usually that they have trouble listening, and most people—and men are included here—have a face they were in public and in private.  Unfortunately, after time has passed men will spend more time with the public face on to everyone else and the private face with his family.  The private, exhausted face is not a pretty sight.</p>
<p><span id="more-8975"></span></p>
<p>So, next time he gives you an excuse for something like he’s done many times before, don’t accept what he has to say, or let him get away with it—take some time and try to feel out why he’s dodging.  Maybe not right then, but figure out a way to get him to open up to what’s going on.</p>
<p>Communication is a two way street, and you both need to be working on it together.</p>
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		<title>Who&#8217;s Looking At You?</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/01/whos-looking-at-you/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=whos-looking-at-you</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 01 May 2012 17:48:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[concern for others]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[modesty]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8858</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A lot is said in modesty circles about how one dresses effects others.&#160; We talk a lot about hem lines, neck lines and clinginess, but there’s a bigger issue at stake than simply whether or not you cause a brother or sister to stumble—mainly, are you setting a good example? From the moment your first [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA         " border="0" alt="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA         " align="right" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/father-and-daughter-beach.jpg" width="244" height="184" />A lot is said in modesty circles about how one dresses effects others.&#160; We talk a lot about hem lines, neck lines and clinginess, but there’s a bigger issue at stake than simply whether or not you cause a brother or sister to stumble—mainly, are you setting a good example?</p>
<p>From the moment your first child is born, they are watching you.&#160; They watch what you say, how you relate to others, and whether your life matches what you tell them.&#160; The best I&#160; give to new parents on discipline is to be consistent—this goes for both following through with what you say you are going to do, but also living out what you preach to them.</p>
<p>This is part of the reason that a recent article at Ruby Eyed Okapi struck such a never with me:</p>
<p><span id="more-8858"></span><br />
<blockquote>
<p>If you are a leader in a church, you need to be very careful with what you promote in your heart and to others with what you say and do. Some questions to ponder are, “Is this something that is godly?”, “Will it cause someone to possibly sin?”, or “Will talking about this set me apart as someone who is of God or will it make me look just like the rest of the world?”</p>
<p><a href="http://rubyeyedokapi.com/2012/04/20/personal-advertising-for-pornography/">Personal Advertising for Pornography</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>The man in this story got a pinup tattoo.&#160; Now, I don’t know your opinion of tattoos, or youth leaders with tattoos, but this item that the man put on was a pinup—a girl who is dresses specifically to arouse sexual attention in men.</p>
<p>By getting this tattoo <strong>as a youth leader</strong> this man was telling every teen he comes in contact with in his spiritual ministry something about himself and his view of women.</p>
<p>He told every boy under him that it’s ok to desire women to dress like a pinup and that it’s ok to look at pinups.&#160; I would say that for many, pinups are a “gateway” to pornography, but rather than preach “stay as far away” with his actions, he did the opposite.&#160; Perhaps he, personally, has the ability to only look at pinups.&#160; Maybe he thinks, “there are women wearing a lot less on television commercials and at the beach, so I’m ok here.”&#160; Then I would say that he’s also wrong because he is a leader (held to a higher standard) and he should know that many would struggle with this and we’re to put others before ourselves.</p>
<p>He told every girl that the woman that he had tattooed on his body is the way that they need to appear to attract his attention.&#160; Nothing broadcasts your like or love of something as inscribing it “permanently” on your body, so this man shows every girl in his care what he thinks is the ideal state of woman’s dress, and he objectifies them by showing this preference.&#160; As a leader, he may sway those young ladies that see (or hear about) this tattoo to think that men prefer that shorts only cover the bottom, belly buttons and midriff are exposed, and men get a look at all your cleavage—and that all of this is okay because he’s in Spiritual Leadership.</p>
<p>So, my question is, who is looking at you, and is what you are doing and how you are dressing something you’d want other people modeling?&#160; Because they are looking, you have no control over that.</p>
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<p><small>© MInTheGap for <a href="http://isthismodest.com">Is This Modest?</a>, 2012. |
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		<title>Chadwicks 15% off Order of $50 or more</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/05/01/chadwicks-15-off-order-of-50-or-more/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=chadwicks-15-off-order-of-50-or-more</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 01 May 2012 14:23:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Deals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chadwicks]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Limited Time Only! Take 15% off your Entire order of $50 or more code CH42889 Subscribe to our Newsletter and get all the latest on our giveaways and deals! © MInTheGap for Is This Modest?, 2012. &#124; Permalink &#124; 2 comments &#124; Add to del.icio.us Post tags: chadwicks Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh]]></description>
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		<title>Do We Need to Reclaim Sexy?</title>
		<link>http://isthismodest.com/2012/04/29/do-we-need-to-reclaim-sexy/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=do-we-need-to-reclaim-sexy</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 29 Apr 2012 17:29:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MInTheGap</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Modest Blogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beauty]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[sexy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://isthismodest.com/?p=8850</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In a recent article, JaniceDoty expresses what we all know, modesty in our culture is lacking.&#160; She pines for the days of yore when the starlets did not have to expose their skin in order to exude attractiveness, but it’s the following quote that got me thinking: We need to claim back what is considered [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Broken-Mirror.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Broken Mirror" border="0" alt="Broken Mirror" align="right" src="http://isthismodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Broken-Mirror_thumb.jpg" width="163" height="250" /></a>In a recent article, JaniceDoty expresses what we all know, modesty in our culture is lacking.&#160; She pines for the days of yore when the starlets did not have to expose their skin in order to exude attractiveness, but it’s the following quote that got me thinking:</p>
<blockquote><p>We need to claim back what is considered sexy. Strong confident women who know their own worth. Clothes that accentuate our curves and individual beauty without showing all we have. Sexy is an attitude….I think its time to make it classy again!</p>
<p>[<a href="http://beingathomewithmyself.com/2012/04/22/modesty-has-it-become-extinct/">Modesty-has it become extinct?</a>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Do we really want to reclaim sexy?&#160; I mean, I believe I understand what she’s saying—she wants “sexy” to mean classy and internally beauty, but I don’t think that sexy ever meant that.</p>
<p><span id="more-8850"></span>
<p>Google thinks that sexy is defined as:</p>
<ol>
<li>Sexually attractive or exciting</li>
<li>Sexually aroused.</li>
</ol>
<p>Neither of these are really what one thinks of when they think “modest.”&#160; If you read through Yahoo! Answer on the topic of <a href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=1006012004349">men defining sexy</a> you’ll see that looks are always a factor.</p>
<p>So, what say you?&#160; Should we attempt to reclaim or repurpose the word?</p>
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