Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

I don’t think we realize just how important  it is to guard our hearts. I believe it is so important to understand this at as young an age as possible. Guarding our hearts protects us from heartache, regret, and future trust problems.

How do we guard our hearts?

One of the surest ways to guard our hearts is to not give it away until we’re married.
Our hearts need to be saved for our future husband or wife. This includes:

• our secrets
• our affections
• our fears
• our total trust
• our insecurities
• our intimacy, all aspects

Why do we guard our hearts?

Guarding our hearts protects us and saves the most intimate parts of ourselves for our future spouse.  When we give personal pieces of ourselves out to someone we  like, or even believe we love, and down the road it doesn’t work out, they take that piece of us with them. They will always have it; something that should have been saved only for our future spouse. When we date several people, we give out our heart again and again, believing they are safe each time. But unfortunately, 99% of the time this just isn’t so, since we will only marry one person out of all the people we date.

I am not talking only about physical intimacy. Obviously this is a very important part of guarding our hearts and keeping ourselves pure before God and our future spouse. Guarding our hearts is much more than physical intimacy alone. Our very conversations with other people need to be guarded and kept pure, whether we believe we are going to be with that person or not. Nothing is final until we’re married.

What consequences might we face when we fail to guard our hearts?

This can go very deep. It depends on how much we give and how many times we give it. In a marriage, this can cause trust issues, insecurities, loss of “spark”, depression, regret, and other unforeseen things. The more we give to others, the more we take away from our future spouse.

We take something important and sacred away from that one we’re going to marry by giving it to someone else. Keep in mind, we’re not just talking about physical intimacy here. Marriage is supposed to be the place to share yourself with the one we share our life with. Who wants to think of their spouse being with someone else from the past, and at one time sharing with this someone “else” things that only you should know?

Take steps now to ensure a secure and blissful marriage later. Guard your heart. Do not just let everyone in; and don’t send out it with everyone either. You run the risk of allowing that person important pieces of yourself if they leave. Guarding your heart also helps to resist the temptation of falling into the trap of physical intimacy before marriage. Your heart is sacred. Don’t underestimate that.

Final Thought

In addition to waiting to give your heart out to your future spouse, be careful and mindful who and what you’re allowing in.

Christin can be found at Journey to a Gracious Woman

© Christin for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: purity

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But what about the children’s stores? They have cute clothes, right? After all, our girls are still too young to know any better and they don’t really have anything to “show off” anyhow. Let me explain why this is a dangerous road to go down.

When our girls are young, we tend to want to dress them in what’s “cute” with no thoughts of what’s modest. We brush off modesty in belief that when they are older, we will change their clothing picks and it won’t be a big deal.  Often, it’s a battle parents just don’t want to fight with their children, and we therefore give in to almost anything the child wants to wear.

Our children’s modesty is just as sacred out of the womb as it is when they become a teenager and later an adult. To teach them modesty isn’t important as a child is to teach them it’s not important as an adult. They don’t see the difference. Allowing our children the freedom to dress immodestly for 10 years, and to then try to change their ways will not be an easy feat. In fact, it will lead to much confusion and double-standardization.

I am not talking to parents who have just come upon modesty themselves and are trying to teach their young girls now. I am speaking of parents who’ve known about modesty all along but have failed to educate their young girls on its importance from the very beginning.

I understand this is not any easy topic to take in. But we absolutely must respect our young daughters by keeping them modest. They are just as sacred from birth as they are as young girls, teenagers, and adults.  To teach them at first that it is OK to wear clothing that is revealing or immodest in any way is to send them mixed messages when we try to retrain them later.  Why should they believe us? Why should it be any different. There will most certainly be resistance when trying to undo what’s already been done.

Instead, let’s start young; at birth if we can. We need to show our children we value them as people so they will value themselves.

© Christin for Is This Modest?, 2009. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Child, children, clothing, Family, Girls, modesty, young girls

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