Why Are You Modest?–Victoria

Many women have chosen a life of modesty, and they have done so for multiple different reasons.

In 2009, we asked the readers of this site why they have chosen modesty. In these posts we’ll share with you the reasons that they chose modesty as an encouragement to you in your decisions as well as a challenge to uphold each other.

Can you give us a brief biography?

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My dad was a pornography addict and pretty much neglected my mom and his kids even though he lived in the house with us (but most of the time he was just the man on the couch you didn’t want to get mad). My mom is a devoted woman of God who taught us all about the importance of following Christ with our whole lives. She taught me all about modesty but I tended to be rebellious when I started to date my boyfriend/now husband in high school. I have been married for seven years now and have a 4 and 2 year old (both boys).

How long have you been modest?

About four to five years only, sadly. I was modest as a child until I was about 16 out of obedience to my mother (who thought I was modest until I was 18, but I went behind her back in the clothes I wore in which she had no idea about). It took me until I was 23 after I had my first son to wake-up.

Why did you first decide to dress modestly?

A teacher had a student who loved my photography. This student attended a private school with a specific dress-code. One day after school she got changed into an outfit that was immodest. When she was noticed by a teacher on school grounds, she was sent into a meeting with the teacher and the principal. Her excuse for how she dressed was that she loved my photography and that I dressed in the way she was dressing at that time. She told them I was a Christian and that I loved God very much and that so did she, so she could wear it. The teacher told me this and I fought her on it a bit and was really upset and hurt. God revealed to me scriptures and convicted me greatly for the error of my way of dress. I realized that I couldn’t think about myself so much because I was a role model to others. At that time also there were men who commented often to me about how sexy I looked. I was a married woman, so this was equally convicting. I learned a lot from those people.

What motivates you to continue to dress modestly?

Many things motivate me. The number one thing would be Christ within me. How am I to set an example of Christ if I do not dress modestly? My husband motivates me. He is a recovering lust/porn addict and he is really blessed by how I view things and try to help other girls know what men really might be going through when they see immodest women. Also my children motivate me. How am I to set an example to them as they one day will choose a wife and woman with character if I am not one myself? Men who have lust addictions in general motivate me. Too many I have met over the past few years who long for women to not be distracting to them as they are trying to clean up their minds and lives. Lastly the youth in general motivate me because they are our future and need to know what is going on in their culture.

Do you believe that how you dress effects how you think of yourself? Why?

I do think that how I dress helps me have more confidence in Christ. I felt I needed to have sexual attention in the past to feel better about myself as a person and it made me feel a bit separated from Him, even though I believed in Him and read His word. Now that I dress modestly I feel at ease in life. It is a more simpler feeling. I think about how the Bible states how woman will want to try to please her husband and man in general. However, now I feel like I am pleasing to my husband and appreciated by other men because I am following Christ’s standards for modesty.

What would you say to encourage someone else to be modest?

I would tell them to not be a stumbling block to other men and to set an example to those who might admire and look up to them. How sad it is for us to go through life selfishly and thinking about what we want to do and how we want to dress without caring for the hearts of those around us who might be clenched in deep sin or dress in a way that can lead them into it. A good way to serve God is to help serve others, and through appearance could just be a first step.

I'm a 35 year old guy married to the most beautiful woman in the world (VirtuousBlonde) for 10 years, and has 5 mostly adorable children-- depending on whether they've had a nap, of course. I'm a software developer by trade, though I like to write on various topics. I got my start in blogging at MInTheGap in 2004 writing about culture, politics and got started talking about modesty on this site just 3 years ago.