Should Modest Women Want to Look “Hot”?
No woman that I know of wants to look frumpy. Just search for the term on the Internet and you’ll see what I mean.
But as I was gathering dresses to review for Quick Reviews, I was struck by this from Jen Clothing:
When guys look at girls who wear a typical prom dress, they may see an easy woman, and if their interest is not in sex, there may be little else to keep them interested. After all, why spend time getting to know a girl who has few physical secrets from the world. Instead, create a look that is hot and beautiful but that keeps a little back, and you will have the guys falling all over themselves to get your attention.
Is exposure really all that sexy? It’s up to you to make the choice in how you dress and what message you send when you attend prom this year. It is possible to look fantastic without exposing yourself, and modest prom dresses offer you wonderful prom options. The full length gown, long opera gloves, and a beautiful up-do are just what every little girl dreams of looking like when she’s young, and the princess look is just as hot today.
I think I understand what she’s trying to say—that you can control how much you show, and that you don’t have to show everything to be glamorous. But does the word “hot” fit? Isn’t “hot” something the author is trying to tell her future customers they don’t have to be?
Perhaps we need to define a set of words that carry the meaning she’s trying to get without implying a whole different meaning.
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This seems to argue that looking slutty is a turnoff. When she asks, “is exposure really all that sexy?” Jen implies that looking sexy, but not exposed, is the ideal.
So I guess the question is, does “hot” carry connotations of overexposure? To my mind, it means “that which is physically attractive.” If you want guys “falling all over themselves to get your attention,” based on your appearance, then you want to look physically attractive, or “hot.”
You mean a turn off for some women, right? I get that she’s trying to tell women that they don’t need to show tons of skin to get attention.
No, I mean she seems to be saying that showing too much is a turnoff for people in general, or at least that it fails to be sexy.
I understand that your philosophy is that a relationship should be based on something more than physical attraction. If you have to assume she used poor wording in order to make JenClothing’s statement say that, maybe it’s not what she’s saying.
Anyway, I apologize if I’m too blunt. I keep rewording this, and it doesn’t sound any better.
If I understand you right, what you’re saying is that Jen is attempting to redefine hot and sexy to mean that it doesn’t have to show everything off– and that too much shown is a turn off. I’m not sure the latter works for guys. I’m sure that a girl that’s showing off a lot is sending different signals than the modest one.
I think a woman should try to be “hot” for her husband in general alone. if you’re single and certainly a teenager especially, looking “hot” will most likely lead to too many issues that can harm someone. Although my husband tells me I’d be hot if I was to do even John Lennon’s “bagism” fashion. haha. So I think modesty is pretty hot!!! I mean I think my husband is hot when he’s fully covered, so it works!!!
In regards to prom dresses though, I think too many girls want to grab attention from guys and act more adult for that night by what they wear (I remember how elegantly and fake the girls acted at my prom that I almost didn’t go to and shouldn’t have gone to, in which my husband was my prom date). Guys usually always think of the stereotypical prom night “I’m going to get laid” issue, sadly (thankfully my husband was more like “get me out of this awful place and I’m so tired I want to sleep and I don’t want to dance with my girlfriend or I’ll get too turned on” so he didn’t dance with me and some girl got high on E and threw up all over another girl and we all got to leave early. Fun Fun! Then it doesn’t help that all the kids go on vacation together and share rooms and have no adult supervision and somehow have beer with them. I’m glad I got to just go home and sleep and not worry about any of those extra things. ugh. Stupid proms. I think they encourage kids to “try to be adults”.
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I’m sure that, at one time, proms were a great event– and I think there are traces of that with the dressing up, the part where they have pictures taken, etc. It’s just like most things; however, it’s been perverted, it’s become something it wasn’t, and now it’s more of an excuse to break the law– both criminal (with drinking) and moral (with sex).