Proud to be Modest: Lessons from Judaism – Part 1

Many of us lament the fact that red carpet dresses get skimpier and skimpier every year. We found a blogging superstar in New York City who dresses modestly and isn’t afraid to talk about it.

Meet Allison Josephs. Her blog, Jew in the City, was nominated for Best Religion Blog at the Blogger’s Choice Awards. Her video, “What to Wear on my Hair?” has been viewed over 40,000 times on YouTube.

Allison describes herself as, “one Orthodox Jewish woman breaking down stereotypes about religious Jews and offering a humorous, meaningful look into traditional Judaism.”

We chatted with Allison about modesty and Judaism.

LH: What is the basis for modesty in the Jewish religion?

AJ: The idea behind modesty, or tznius (in Hebrew), in the most basic sense, is about privacy. It’s not about shame or looking unattractive. It’s the idea that some things are not meant for public consumption. Because of that, Jewish modesty is not just about how we dress, but also about how we behave, what information we share or don’t share with the larger world. It’s a sense of discretion that seems to have been lost on a society full of reality tv shows!

LH: Is modesty for men as well, or just for the women?

AJ: Modesty is for both men and women, though the rules are not exactly the same for each gender and I think it’s because Jewish law understands something about the female and male condition when it comes to sexuality. Women are generally more interested in showing off their bodies (think tank tops, miniskirts, and plunging necklines) than looking at scantily clad men. Men are generally more interested in looking at women’s bodies (ask yourself which magazine has more readers – Playboy or Playgirl) than showing off their own. (Most men – even in the heat of the summer wear shirts to around their elbows and shorts to their knees.)

Because of these natural inclinations, while women have some restrictions on what they can see of a man’s body, they’re more restricted in what they can show of their own. Similarly – although men can only show more of their body than women can, they’re allowed to see less of women’s bodies than women can see of theirs.

LH: We see Orthodox Jewish women wearing skirts and long sleeves. Is this the norm? What exactly are the rules?

AJ: There are different opinions in Jewish law when it comes to most issues which mean that different communities have different things they do (but all have some basic agreement). The most basic sources about modesty that you can find in the Talmud mention covering the “shok” – which is the leg (including the knee) and covering the “z’roa” – which is the arm, covering the elbow (although some say only until the elbow). Most communities cover the collar bone as well, since it’s an easy place to make a boundary, (though it does not have a source in the Talmud as the leg and arm do). Some communities like longer skirts and sleeves and have stockings also as part of the norm, although these are stringencies and not basic law.

Regarding the skirts – this is a bit of a discussion. There’s no law in the Talmud that says “women must wear skirts” – but at a certain point in Jewish history, the overall community of observant women made a decision to not wear pants. One reason is for modesty, as pants show the separation between the legs; another reason was to have an identifiable way to dress as a Jewish woman. Because the skirt thing is less clear cut than the sources from the Talmud – you will find Orthodox women out there who cover their arms, legs, hair, but wear baggy pants.

We’ll publish the second half of this interview tomorrow!

Leah Helfgott is the designer behind www.i-pointwebdesign.com she also writes for In Fashion, a modest fashion magazine (www.InFashionFT.com). She is an Orthodox Jewish woman and a mom of 2 from New Jersey.