The Problem of a Subjective Standard
Unfortunately, I cannot tell you that if you wear jeans you are immodest. I also cannot tell you that if you wear a dress below your ankles then you are.
The fact is that, to some degree, modesty is subjective—there are no hard and fast rules.
Now, certainly there are things that everyone agrees on, but the line is drawn differently depending on who draws it.
For example, for some a strapless dress in a formal setting is appropriate. For another it would be wrong. For some it is wrong to wear any kinds of pants, and for others pants are more modest than the option.
How do we know, then, what is modest and what is not?
An External Voice
The problem for most of us is that we are as subjective as the next person. We tend to have an opinion about things, and it’s hard for us to step back and give ourselves an accurate critique.
Here we need an objective or at least external standard. There are a couple of different types of standards that you can have.
The Husband/Father
The husband, father, or other male figure in your life is a great standard because they actually care about you and they see you the way a guy sees you. They will also be honest if you ask them honestly. They will also hear male reaction to different ways girls dress and know how to advise you accordingly.
The Book
Taking a look at different books and reading your Bible and thinking about what you are on the inside will help to refine your sense of what is appropriate.
Modesty Websites
Not just this site, though I’m glad you’re reading here. If you read modest retail blogs and frequent modest retail stores you’ll find that you’ll be able to spot when something is not modest.
Be Persuaded
Most of all, you have to be persuaded about what you’re wearing. You need to know what you think about your outfit, and you need to be aware of what’s going on around you.
You should have a line, something tangible that you’re convinced about, and you should try not to cross it or even get close to it. You need to be persuaded in your own mind, and then live up to your standard.
Because ultimately, modesty is about the heart and your heart attitude is more important than what you’re wearing.
Modesty Problems
- The Problem of Modesty
- The Problem of a Subjective Standard
- No Matter What You Wear, He’s Looking at You
- Showing Shoulders is a Sin
- Hot, Sexy Woman
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Wow! Great post.
This is the first modestly post I have read in a long time that I agreed with.
Ellie Snider´s last blog ..My Sister
What did you like about this Ellie? What part struck you that you agreed with?
Good post! I agree that as the girl/woman we should not just randomly wear whatever without thinking about it first. I did that for a while and that only led to bad results in dress and thinking sometimes. Whatever one’s standard is for modesty, they should stick to it, imho. However, you talk of getting ‘advice,’ for lack of a better term, from one’s father, husband, or other male figure in one’s life concerning modesty. What if I don’t have a father, husband or any other prominent male figure in my life atm…what then??
A very good question. From what I’ve read, people have suggested talking to a pastor or spiritual leader, but I’m not sure that I’d be comfortable doing that. To me, you have to find someone you trust that you can talk with that has a good reputation in this area. And perhaps we can help a little in this area by giving you “food for thought” about different things that do and do not work!
Thanks!