What Motivates Young Christian Ladies to Be Modest?
When we asked the readers of Is This Modest this question, they gave us an interesting response:
Why Motivates Christian Young Ladies to be Modest?
- Keep Christian Brothers from Stumbling (82.0%, 28 Votes)
- Focus on the Inside (26.0%, 9 Votes)
- What Would Jesus Wear? (21.0%, 7 Votes)
- Holier than Thou (12.0%, 4 Votes)
- Don’t You Know? They make all their own clothing. (3.0%, 1 Votes)
Why I find this interesting is that the overwhelming answer is not the answer that I would have chosen, and yet I believe that it accurately characterizes why Christian young ladies try to be modest—and I believe it’s the wrong reason.
Have I lost you?
Let me come about this the long way, and see if I can get you to see what I’m saying…
MInTheGap and Worth Waiting For
Some of you know that, after I had finished college and started working that I began to have a passion for reaching young ladies in crisis pregnancies. So much so that I attended classes so that I could help young women in these circumstances.
The only problem: I’m a man!
So, they figured that the only thing that I could do that would be useful would be to tag along to churches and schools and teach the benefits of purity and virginity.
Except I wasn’t very good at it. I mean, I’m a good speaker, and I have the passion, but my number one reason for being pure wasn’t “so that my future wife would get all of me” or “so that I’d only share myself with one partner” or even “so I wouldn’t get disease.” My number one reason was because that’s what God expected of me.
The Weight of the Answers
That’s why, though I expected the results that we received, I was a little saddened by them. If you are a Christian and you’re dressing modesty simply because you’re worried your Christian brother’s stumbling, I have news for you: They’re going to stumble regardless how hard you try.
If there’s one thing that you should be noticing with a lot of the Quick Reviews and comments lately is that no matter what the outfit looks like, there’s something that some guy can latch onto, and that for some men a burqua is probably the only way to go.
And if that’s the case, if what you’re aiming for with your modesty is to keep Christian brothers from stumbling then you’re going to have to go that route.
However, if you’re focused inwardly, if your attempt to be modest is an effort to please God, if you’re desiring Him above all else, then He is the only one you will be concerned about answering to. He is the one that you’ll be seeking to please. You’ll be dressing for Him, not for your Christian brothers.
I’m not saying that you should use this as an opportunity to justify dressing in a bikini “for the Lord”, you should be careful to help your brothers not to stumble. But that shouldn’t be the end goal. The end goal should always be the development of the inner woman to the honor and glory of God.
Nothing else matters.
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“If you are a Christian and you’re dressing modesty simply because you’re worried your Christian brother’s stumbling, I have news for you: They’re going to stumble regardless how hard you try.”
True, but I argue that the poll does not and cannot show that some of us have/had multiple reasons for dressing modestly. The poll allowed us to give multiple answers (and I did so), but the results do not show that it was possible to do that.
Yes, the poll did allow multiple answers. Why then, did not more people vote for the ‘most important’ reason? “Keep Christian Brothers from Stumbling” has more than twice as many votes as “Focus on the Inside.” …Just my thoughts.
If I remember correctly I voted for more than one also.
Too bad there wasn’t one called “Honoring God” that we could have voted for. That would have been even better!
If you made it to broad or obvious, everyone would choose it. I was trying, in the survey, to get a gut reaction rather than a calculated one.
oh…gotcha.
This was a great post. You’re totally right, and sometimes it’s so easy to lose sight of the true goal of modesty instead of focusing on the secondary ones. Thanks. :)
Kristins last blog post..Out with the Man-Clothes…Seriously.
Helping our Christian brothers not to stumble is important, but not THE goal. I liked how you brought out that we should dress modestly in obedience to God and with the desire to please Him.
As I’ve already mentioned, MIn….I actually don’t think the possible answers gave us the opportunity to choose “doing it because that is what God wants”. Focusing on the inside is nice and all, but it still makes the entire focus about “us”, rather than God. That is why I didn’t actually choose that answer, because it seemed rather self-centered.
Oh, I see what you mean! You’re right…while there was the option to choose multiple answers none of them really represented the true point of modest dress. Good catch, Erin!
Kristins last blog post..Out With the Man-Clothes CHALLENGE!
I sort of wanted to comment on that poll as well. I always based the way I dressed out of respect for the standards of other people (primarily my parents, but also others). It’s less a function of Christianity than of etiquette.
Am I the only one for whom modesty is normal?
Yeah, modesty is normal for me. I’ve grown up always being taught to be and being modest. But, I do it to honor God, as well as other reasons. I mean, no one is forcing me to be modest! So anyway, it is a choice.
Modesty is normal for me- even before I learned more about why I should be modest, I chose not to wear low-cut shirts or short shorts.
Well, everyone pretty much said what I was going to say already. By focusing on the inside, we do our part in keeping christian brothers from stumbling, and that all comes under honoring God in my opinion. So while I was one of the ones who chose, “Keep Christian Brothers from Stumbling,” it isn’t the only reason, or the first reason I would have chosen if it had been on the poll: “Because God commands it.”
All that said, I probably could have chosen, “Focus on the Inside,” and that would have actually been nearer to the truth for me. As a friend once put it: “We want people to like us for who we are, not what we look like.” I appreciate that you brought it up. Made me think a little bit.
God bless,
Hannah
Hannah L.s last blog post..Teddy Roosevelt on American Motherhood
Thank you for this post.
Here in Europe, I have never seen this kind of modesty discussions around and I got curious about them and surfed around the web to know more about them. Especially when talking about modesty when breastfeeding I was baffled to see things as “you should hide because men will look at you”.
It seemed discriminating to me when women would have to change their dress to change a man’s behaviour, I’d think it’d be better to educate the man. So I am quite relieved to see your response.
As for my proper views: one should dress appropriately and respectfully.
This is so true! I didn’t vote in the poll when it was up, but I probably would have voted with the 82% first. At the root, I do dress modestly in order to please my Lord, but I don’t generally think of it. I’m usually thinking of it in terms of loving my brothers.
#Feb2011NCARating
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