There’s Just Something Special
There’s just something special about a girl in a formal. It’s a magical time with a mixture of things that makes both what she looks like and what a guy feels all the more intense.
There are few times in the life of a guy where that girl that he likes will dress in a formal—most notably their wedding, but there will be others.
If I can, I’d like to try to capture for you the essence of what’s going on in a guy’s brain and what he’s thinking and feeling and why that formal that you think is the most difficult thing you’ve ever put on and you spend hours picking out is that special.
The Event
It might be a prom or formal dance. It might be a banquet or a show. It might your wedding, or a special night out. Whatever the case, if the event calls for formal dress just because he hasn’t had to spend the time picking out what he’ll wear (except for maybe his tie) that you have or worried about what he’ll look like in it doesn’t mean that he’s unaware of what you’re going through or that he doesn’t know that you’re conscious of how you look.
Anticipation is a strong emotion—which fuels desire and makes the event that you’re both getting ready for all that more potent and powerful. He’s anticipating that event and what you’ll look like just about as much as you are anticipating it and wanting it to be perfect.
Now, I’m not saying you should kill yourself, or not be yourself, but I’m trying to help paint the picture. The guy should be happy just to be with you—he should care about you! He is anticipating time spent with you with you looking your best, and that event in and of itself is playing on his emotions just as it is yours.
The Time
Guys know the time that you’re taking—they may not have the scope or the breadth of an idea of how much time you may have spent tanning or dieting or how much time you spent trying something on, but the time itself is something special. You see, that time you’ve spent is time you were thinking about him.
He realizes that she’s thinking about looking her best for him. The things that she’s buying, the outfits she’s trying—they all have one thing in mind: him and will he like it.
That’s incredibly powerful, to know that there’s a girl that’s centered on looking the best for you. Wow.
The Sight of Her
There’s nothing like the sight of a girl that’s taken time to prepare herself for you. She may have had her hair done (and you may find that silly because you like her regular hair style better) and she may or may not be made up, but you can tell that she’s done a lot just for you.
She’s hanging on your arm, a jewel, a treasure—it’s electrifying. Every touch of her skin is electrifying—as she holds your hand or brushes by your arm. Her movements are more graceful, the look more feminine, and it’s just amazing.
It’s part pride—that you have someone that looks so amazing with you. It’s that a woman would take the time for you. It’s a connection to them.
It’s Special
When I was a teen I went to a summer camp where the tradition was for the girls to wear formals to the music concerts and be escorted by the guys—the guys all wearing shirts with bow-ties and dress shirts. The guys had to make several trips, but regardless, the guys got their pictures with girls that looked their best. It was special being a guy that a girl would walk and talk with. You knew that, even if she hardly knows you, she chose to go with you over someone else.
A formal is an interesting event—it’s a special event—and it’s full of complex emotions and expectations. It’s time for both of you to look your best, and to enjoy the company and the bond you share!
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I can attest to the magic and strong emotions of a prom night. It’s almost intoxicating, and it’s special. Formals don’t come along that often, which is good! It makes the events themselves even more special.
Definitely– if we had a formal every night or every week they would lose their special-ness. However, with stronger emotions comes more of a need to guard those same emotions.
Definitely. Dances especially make it difficult to guard yourself, because you’re naturally drawn closer to the person you are dancing with. However, I’m not going to condemn dancing, because I love to dance. :)
They say that the motion of the dance is much like the motion of married couples. That being said, I’m not sure how true this is, and I am married. :)
However, when we did dance in my public school gym class all I can say was that the motion and proximity were physically effecting me.
I would agree that certain dance moves are inappropriate for single people to do with each other (the hip-hop/rap/crunk/whatever-it’s-called stuff) but I don’t think, say, swing dancing is necessarily effective in the same way. I guess it depends on the proximity and suggestiveness of the moves.
When I’m at dances, I make it a point to ask my boyfriend if I am doing okay, and not causing him to struggle. He’s really good at telling me if he is having trouble with something I am doing/wearing. I appreciate his honesty so much. Also, I make sure I’m not trying to draw attention to certain parts of my body, but rather just enjoying the music and grooving to it. You won’t catch me doing the previously-mentioned suggestive moves. I’ve always thought it was kind of gross, to be honest.
I have always had a problem with the idea about girls dressing for guys. Since I am single I always dress for myself or shall I dare say it “Dress to impress my friend who are girls”. When I dress rarely do I think about what a guy might think about my outfit. I have always written off the fact that dressed modestly guys woundn’t notice what I wear anyway. I dress for myself or the understated competition among girls.
Is my thinking wrong?
In one way of thinking about it you could say that dressing modestly is dressing for guys– because you’re thinking about how they way you dress will effect them. In this case, you’re hoping they won’t notice what you wear.
But I would challenge you to actually think further, and realize that the fact that you don’t display your body is something a guy will notice. He will begin to see who you are instead of what you are.
In the case of the posts this month, we’re looking at formals, and (from my guy perspective) I believe girls (when it’s their wedding or a formal date out) tend to think more about what the guy will think about what they wear than what their fellow girls will think– or maybe I’ve missed the boat?
I will say that it is the ultimate fashion crime to be caught in the same outfit as another girl at a formal… Yet another advantage to making my own!
As for thinking about what the guy will think, yes, it’s important to us. I don’t know if it’s MORE important than what the other girls think for all girls. But for me, I don’t really care what other people think, as long as the guy I am with is not struggling because of what I am wearing. *shrug* I think it’s a matter of personal preference.
I guess I hadn’t even considered the comparison factor. I can see where it makes total sense because it’s human nature to want to compare and to want to promote self.
This is why wedding dresses are so special. Thanks for this good post! I love dressing up even more when there’s a guy I like involved! :)
#Feb2011NCARating