Why I Wore a Modesty Panel
I was in a wedding recently, where all the bridesmaids were sent their dresses. I loved my dress! It was a beautiful light blue, mid-calf length 
skirt, with a big bow that tied in back. It was definitely a dress I could wear again, for formal dinners and fancy occasions. The only problem was…it had a low neckline. I tried it on and held back a bit of a gasp when I saw where exactly that “neckline” fell (it was no where near my neck….). However, attached to the dress’ tag, was this nice little piece of fabric with a hemmed edge. I realized that it was a “modesty panel” which is a nice little piece of fabric that matches the dress, and you sew it in the neckline to “raise” it up a little bit.
I probably could have gotten away with not using it. No one really would have been surprised, and since none of the other bridesmaids wore theirs I would have blended right in.
As it was, I stood out rather like a sore thumb. However, there were several reasons I wore it. First, I have a husband who is rather protective of me (in a very good way) and he doesn’t like me to wear revealing clothes in public. Second, I knew several of the young men at the wedding and I didn’t want them to have any problems looking at me as anything more than their friend. Third, I wanted to show that Christian girls can be different. I made a choice that I was going to be different and not show off what fell on the boarder of “private”.
The other bridesmaids chose not to wear their modesty panels, and that is their choice! I’m good friends with a few of them, and know that they didn’t make the choice out of a deep desire to be scandalous or risque. This was something that God convicted me on, not them. We are all built differently, and what is revealing on one person may not actually “show anything” on someone else. Which leads me to a question for you all (that we’ve discussed before, but haven’t really come to any conclusions on): Can something be immodest for one person, and not for another?
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Hmm. I think there are certain clothes that are immodest for anyone who wears them (ie swimsuits, short-shorts, and miniskirts). But there are also people who think that any skirt shorter than ankle-length is immodest, and that any shirt without 3/4 length or longer sleeves is immodest. I think it is mostly that modesty is so subjective. We can try to write rules and regulations, but no matter what we say, someone will be unhappy.
That said, there are some clothes that will look modest on some people that won’t look modest on other people. Button down shirts, for example. A larger-proportioned woman probably should not wear one, because of the shirt’s tendency to gape open, while a smaller woman’s body probably won’t make it gape. It all depends on the fit of the clothing.
I agree with Anna….a person’s body type can easily impact what is and is not modest for them. My sisters and I have very different body shapes and have noticed throughout the years that if clothes are shared between us there will be some items I can wear that my sister can’t, and vice versa. For example, a knee length skirt is going to look longer on someone with shorter legs than it will on a taller woman. The difference in the tops that women can wear is an obvious one…busty women have many more concerns when it comes to choosing tops.
Kristins last blog post..Fashionable Friday!
Good for you, Erin, even though it meant being different, you took a stand for modesty!
Kristin, you are so right.
As a busty woman with a small frame I definitely have a hard time finding dresses and tops that are modest and still fit properly in the shoulders etc. My sister is slim everywhere and tops fit her way differently.
Something else I just thought of is that because I live in such a windy area and walk a lot knee length skirts are not very modest for me because they tend to fly up quite a bit but in my old city they were fine.
Yeah, that can happen sometimes. I had to be careful about that the other day. I tend to wear mid-calf length (or longer) skirts to avoid that problem. I guess if the skirt is more straight it doesn’t blow as much like the fuller ones.
Jesus Christ is the same, for every person. He never changes!!! What does He say about the clothing? Malachi 3:6a, Hebrews 13:8
Actually he (jesus) said neither of those things.
The Lord Jesus Christ is the Almighty God, and He inspired every word of the Bible. One of His names is even “the Word”!
Actually, Jesus Christ is NOT the ALMIGHTY God
NIV
Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, .. And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, ……
John 14:28-30 28 “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, 31 but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.
John 5:19-30
i just love these rewritten protestant bibles… so much for not one jot or tittle changed… check out the link to the passage at the bottom, pick an actual bible, and reread… you will find none of this implication. Jesus IS God the Son, Second person of the Trinity.. God in Three Persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, each with their own purpose, but One God nonetheless. It is an almost impossible to understand mystery, but only because we do not have the intellect to completely understand God, and to think that means that He is not who and how He says He is, is arrogance. Jesus allowed people to worship Himself… He would not have done so were He not God, because worship of something or someone NOT God is idolotry, and a sin, and Jesus never committed a sin, nor would He have encouraged it. If you are a Christian, that means you worship and follow Christ, one cannot do that without believing in a trinitarian God.
I don’t think it has to do anything with protestant Bibles, and it has more to do with the beliefs of the individual writing the comment. I could certainly defend the Trinity with any Bible, but taking any verse out of context can create difficulty. You’d do better to focus on the context and content than to slam a Bible that a majority of the readers here believe is God’s Word.
Different people can have different motives in wearing or not wearing an item of clothing. I think motive and attitude have a huge impact on whether an individual is percevied by others as modest or sexually alluring.
However, there are some basics that you can pretty much say across the board are immodest, and I don’t think these things are relative to the individual wear-er (such as exposed breasts).
The fact that someone is DRESSED immodestly, does not necessarily mean they have ill-motives or an immodest heart, as the immodesty could be unintentional or they may not yet be in a place in their walk with God where they have been convicted about their outward appearance.
I also believe their are some “gray areas” in modesty that can go one way or the other depending on the heart of the VIEWER more than the heart of the WEARER.
Reborns last blog post..Prayer Request!!!
I wrote a post on this issue – the Subjectiveness and Objectiveness of modesty. Have you read it?
http://isthismodest.com/2009/02/18/the-subjectiveness-and-objectiveness-of-modesty/
Yep. I read it! Good article.
Amen! I wear tank tops and t-shirts under nearly everything because “neck”lines have plummetted WAY out of control. I’ve purchased many tops with risque necklines because I thought they were gorgeous and it takes only a little bit of extra effort/$ to make it modest. I doubt you were sticking out as much as you thought you were.
Another example: Spaghetti strap dresses were all the rage when I was in high school and I just put a babydoll tee underneath…everyone thought I was making a fashion statement, when really I was trying to avoid looking like a hoochie. :)
Carolines last blog post..The Simple Woman’s Daybook
Stop arguing, wear what you are comfortable with! I’ve only got one breast, so no cleavage and really pleased to find something that allows me to wear some of the pretty clothes around……sure Jesus loves me and you whatever we wear!
Of course something can be modest on one person and not on another. If someone wears something akin to a burqa, the way I dress might even be immodest for them if they were to suddenly change. People wouldn’t be used to seeing them dressed in less than their usual standard and it would draw attention.
#Feb2011NCARating