The Wedding and After

After a man marries a woman, he no longer struggles with immodesty.  He delights in his wife, and can see all he needs to at any time.  She fulfils his every desire and need, and he needs no other.

I wish, very hard, to say this was true, but it is not, and this is something that we must realize and take into account—especially with all that’s going on in our culture today.

Living Together, Shacking Up, Living In Sin—You get the idea

Part of the problem with today’s culture is that marriage has been extremely devalued—to the point where women are compared to cars that you should test drive and make sure you get the latest model—or one with the least amount of miles on her.

With that has come the whole concept of comparison.  What I mean by that is that whereas in years gone by a man and a woman would only ever have one sexual partner their entire life, now they have multiples—and that’s seen as ok.

This directly relates to modesty, because now every woman is an object, something new and different to find out.

The Wedding

As far as modesty goes, what a strange time a wedding is.  It’s that time where every rule is turned on its head.  The woman intentionally goes out to find something to wear that will entice her husband sexually.  They see each other without clothing—and that’s as far as this family friendly blog writer will go.

They can’t get enough of each other during that week, and for a long time thereafter.

But he’s now seen “everything”—so is he cured?  Probably not.

After The Wedding and Into the Marriage

I will say that it’s not the same after being married as before, and I think there’s a good reason.  I believe that there is a physical reaction to seeing a pretty face/body—it’s a hit, or like a drug, where it feels good.

And because you’re not together all the time, a guy can look toward another girl and see something and feel something.

That’s made ten times worse by marketing and advertisements.  Men are now bombarded with images of girls using facial expressions that indicate a favorable reaction, whereas if they were to meet in person the girl would not give them the time of day.

Bodies are airbrushed to the point that the girl in the picture looks nothing like a real girl—and that just makes his comparisons worse.

If he needed to be careful not to look before marriage, he needs to be careful to only look at her after.  Ladies, here’s where you can help—you were all concerned about what he’d see on your wedding night (you may have tanned, gotten your hair done and lost weight), what is he seeing now?  Yes, be modest outside the house, but inside, draw him in like only you can.

I'm a 35 year old guy married to the most beautiful woman in the world (VirtuousBlonde) for 10 years, and has 5 mostly adorable children-- depending on whether they've had a nap, of course. I'm a software developer by trade, though I like to write on various topics. I got my start in blogging at MInTheGap in 2004 writing about culture, politics and got started talking about modesty on this site just 3 years ago.