What?! We’re Different?
In order to try to better help better understand what goes on in the mind of a guy, I believe it will be instructive to look into what happens at the different stages of growth—because at these different stages different thoughts, feelings and impulses are in effect. I believe that if you could unlock these things, then you’d better understand what your up against, and better understand what you have to do to remain pure and modest.
Everyone’s a He
It was hard. My oldest son used the pronoun “he” for every person that he saw or referenced. Sure, it wasn’t that difficult to get him to say that his mom was a she (if he wasn’t referring to her directly as “mom”), but how do you explain to someone that small that there are two different sexes with two different physical attributes and how to use the many different clues to determine whether the person to whom he was referring was a girl or a boy?
So we stuck to the most obvious: Girls have long hair.
Now, this has lead to some embarrassing moments—like the time that I was in Home Depot and the guy1 that was helping me find something had long hair and my sons told me that we should ask “her” to help us find something else. There are women with short hair, also, but few with men’s hairstyles, so that hasn’t caused as much trouble.
The reason I bring this up, however, is that part of being of a certain sex is looking like that sex. For men, that means having a male hair cut, dressing in slacks, carrying oneself in a masculine manner, and hopefully knowing his way around some basic power tools.2
For ladies, that means looking like a lady—in your hair length, the style of clothing you wear, etc. I’d encourage all women that are pursuing modesty to be a woman that won’t confuse my boys as to what you are.
We’re Different, But That’s No Big Deal
The other place that young boys run into the opposite sex is when they have a sister. Now, some have speculated that—for the most part—there is never any physical desire between brother and sister. That may be true in most cases3, but this has an interesting connection to something we’re going to say later on.
My point is, when you are a young boy, the fact that you and a girl have different parts is no big deal. The fact that you both have legs, arms, knees, and a smile means that you’re a person that I can play with and have a good time with. There’s no sexual tension, and though you may play mom and dad—and may even kiss just like they see mom and dad do—there’s nothing here (normally) that’s causing lust.
Oh to be that innocent the whole way through life!
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Inside a Guy's Mind
- What?! We’re Different?
- The Competition
- Girls Have Curves
- They Just Can’t Be Understood
- The Wedding and After
- He had whiskers, talked in a deep voice, and yet still had long hair. [↩]
- ‘Course I’m always worried about cutting off a limb, but that’s off topic… [↩]
- And I’m not going to get into defending this either way, because it’s not important for my point! [↩]
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So funny about the “he” theory! When my son was about 3, he called everyone a “He” too. So, we’d repeat to him – “SHE! SHE! Mom is a SHE! Anna (sister) is a SHE! SHE! SHE! SHE!”…we were also big into Little People’s farm animals at the time.
So, one day, my boy says, “Mom is a SHEep; Anna is a SHEep; I’m a PIG!” So much for understanding SHE…. :)
Connys last blog post..Praying, day 29
And it’s funny with my daughter. My wife has the kids say “yes ma’am” when she asks them to do something (sometimes) and so when I ask my daughter (2) to do somethings, she will say “yes ma’am” to me. I think it’s a while before she’ll say “sir”. :)
I’m a girl and no one will be confused about this fact; I have long hair. XD
However, I grew up wearing boys shorts and T-shirts BECAUSE THEY WERE MODEST. I looked quite androgynous except for my hair (and as a side effect, still lean toward that style of clothing).
If guys want us to enjoy looking like girls, should they give us a break on the requirements to be as modest as guys are?
“If guys want us to enjoy looking like girls, should they give us a break on the requirements to be as modest as guys are?”
There are other ways to look like a girl than immodesty. Skirts! :) Besides, unless a girl is wearing tents for clothing, it is possible to tell that she is a girl (Not always easy, but possible).
I have long hair for 3 reasons: 1, it’s Biblical. 2, it makes me look like a girl. 3, it’s comfortable (keeps me warm!) and looks good (a lot of short cuts don’t look good).
And, totally random, but the girl’s photo reminds me of the Disaster Girl meme that was floating around for a while…
Interesting that you say this, Anna09. My daughter (2) got a set of long pjs for her birthday and she loves them. They go to the floor and she looks so cute in them. She wanted to wear them all day long.
There was definitely something cute and feminine about it, and the girl in her loved it.
Excellent post! I look forward to reading the rest of the series. :)
I do make an effort to dress femininely, as does my mother, and it is fun to see the result this can have even in little boys. My six year old brother loves skirts and dresses with floral prints, and whenever he sees one of his sisters or our mom in one he will tell us it is “the most beautiful.”
I remember being confused as to a woman’s gender when I was a little girl. She had on a dress, but somehow I missed that. I only saw the clearly masculine buzz-cut.
#Feb2011NCARating