Comments on: “My Husband Wants Me To Look Sexy When We’re Out Together.”

By: Andy

Andy — Wed, 09 May 2012 16:32:37 +0000

The wife’s wishes should be paramount, I think that should be obvious. However, it’s as absurd to go from ‘look sexy’ to ‘be completely naked’ as it is to go from ‘dress modestly’ to ‘wear a burqua’.

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Fri, 04 May 2012 12:40:45 +0000

There is nothing wrong with proudly displaying the object of your affections, or, at the very least, not wanting to be ashamed of them.

Then why not walk her around naked so everyone can observe her beauty? I’m not meaning to be crass, but I’m not saying that a person shouldn’t be proud of his wife, that he shouldn’t find her attractive, etc., but the point of my post is that a husband should not make a wife wear clothing for the express interest in arousing his or other’s sexual interest outside of the privacy of their home– especially if the wife would prefer to wear modest clothing.

By: Andy

Andy — Thu, 03 May 2012 19:40:18 +0000

There is nothing wrong with proudly displaying the object of your affections, or, at the very least, not wanting to be ashamed of them.

Yes, people want to be proud of their car, they want to be proud of their kids, and they want to be proud of their wives and husbands. This does not necessarily mean people are objectifying these things, and if they do, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“My child is an honor student at X school” bumper sticker is as much an objectification as “My other car is a BMW” bumper sticker. Other people may be jealous of the parent with such a sticker. So should we tell parents to stop being proud of their kids and stop allowing those kids to be so visibly accomplished and successful?

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Thu, 03 May 2012 13:39:47 +0000

The problem here is that by wanting to only display her private, sexual side, you’re objectifying her. Here’s an easy test, what would happen if we changed “wife” with “new sports car”:

This is heart-wrenching. A man wants to be proud of his new sports car, wants to share with the world the jewel of his heart, the love oh his life. “This,” he says “is the goddess who has enraptured my very soul; my own, my darling, my world and my stars.”

Still fits, doesn’t it? It’s one thing for a wife to show her husband everything, but once she’s on display to those that can’t have that’s both attempting to cause others to envy/covet as well treating a woman like an object.

Better to let those around see the inner beauty than the outer.

By: Andy

Andy — Thu, 03 May 2012 06:57:27 +0000

This is heart-wrenching. A man wants to be proud of his wife, wants to share with the world the jewel of his heart, the love of his life. “This,” he says, “is the goddess who has enraptured my very soul; my own, my darling, my world and my stars.”

Be his trophy, be his siren, be the very beat of his heart, and make your husband proud. If that entails dressing without beauty, then by all means, humor him, but if he wants to gaze on your beauty and tremble, *let him*. If he doesn’t mind showing you off a little, or earnestly desires to do so, and your heart is not troubled at the thought, then absolutely, positively, be as sexy as both can handle; on the mountaintop, in the city, at home, and everywhere people can enjoy simple beauty.

By: Brandi

Brandi — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 02:54:11 +0000

lydee – thank you! I’m reading through these comments and keep wondering why it is our responsibility to dress for other men (modestly) and not dress for our own man? are we not supposed to be subservient to him and he is to be subservient to Him? as wemen, if you take direction from the bible, we are to trust in our husbands and fathers to make those decisions for us. I am a confident, happily married and attractive wife and mom. I dress in whatever way my husband chooses because he is my husband.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 06:46:44 +0000

I am having a hard time with this too!

By: Lady Abigail

Lady Abigail — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 22:25:25 +0000

I’d hate to find myself in that situation. Hopefully I never will. But if I did, I’d say we ought to obey God rather than man. If a man truly loves his wife the way God tells him to, he will not ask her to dress immodestly for anyone other than himself.

#Feb2011NCARating

By: Raechel

Raechel — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 23:04:44 +0000

When it was said in the previous comments, “wear sexy clothes at home” I am hoping that means in the bedroom. When you have kids I sure hope moms aren’t prancing around in front of their kids with immodest clothes on. I dress modestly all day long..in the house and out of the house. My kids should see that we respect our bodies ever where we are. That being said my Husband loves me for who I am. He married me for who I am and not how sexy I can be. He prefers it if I don’t wear make-up..so I don’t. I would hope that it isn’t looks that made anyones spouse marry them. News flash…looks fade. I want my husband to be married to me forever and not leave me when I am not sexually appealing anymore. My husband tells me how beautiful I look when I am covering up rather than some other wifes who are falling out of there shirts…or pants. Respect for yourself is more beautiful than a sexy shirt to wear. How about being a good listener, a wife who is respectful to her husband, or a wife who tells her husband thank you for everything that he does. Men loved to be acknowledged. I think that will be more sexy to your man than some earrings in your ears. Great article and I hope men out there appreciate the wife God gave them and cherish her…she is for him alone.

By: debbi

debbi — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:42:11 +0000

I have the opposite problem with my boyfriend. When i want to dress sexy, he asks me to change and be more modest. I dont understand why he feels this way. Any men out there have any thoughts on that?

By: Greta

Greta — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:52:00 +0000

I agree with you that there needs to be more things on this topic for husbands to listen to/read. If there was a book or something that addressed this I would definitely buy it, but I don’t know of anything. The closest book I can think of which may help men to better understand things from a woman’s point of view is “For Men Only” by Shaunti Feldhan. I am so sorry that the issue of modesty is causing problems in your marriage. I will be praying for you…

By: MFrank

MFrank — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 15:12:07 +0000

More needs to written on this FOR husbands. My husband doesn’t understand why I feel like I should be modest. I want to be fashionable. I want to look nice for him…BUT why does that have to be revealing tops and short short skirts and bikinis that barely cover anything! I’m beyond frustrated and he’s giving me the silent treatment right now for my opinion on this topic. I have young boys at home and want them to marry modest wives one day so how can I strut around the house in nothing? And I’m already wearing apealing undergarments…and if I don’t, I hear about it….I know there are other wives like me out there with husbands who claim to be Christ-followers but this article was the first I found on the web about it…

By: Bob

Bob — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:26:43 +0000

Here’s my situation… my wife and I are attending a holiday/cocktail party in a few weeks and after trying on many different dresses, she’s narrowed it down to two and is asking me which one she should wear. She looks great in both, but one is more conservative/classic looking (still sexy), while the other definitley has more sex appeal – not slutty – but definitely grabs your attention.
Contrary to the original topic here, I prefer the more conservative look instead of the other for the reasons some have pointed out – I don’t need someone elses approval of how my wife looks – we’ve been together close to 15 years now – and don’t want other men to ‘lust’ after my wife. Especially men that she will encounter on a fairly regular basis at work (this is a work party with people at her place of employment, a relatively new job of five months). She likes the thought of people thinking she looks really good which I think is natural, but she is admittingly naive when it comes to understanding the thought process of men when it comes to sexuality.
Ultimately, I want her to wear what she likes best, but also want her to understand where I’m coming from without seeming controlling. Any thoughts?

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:24:47 +0000

Glad we could help.

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:23:30 +0000

I can certainly see where the opposite– that he’s embarrassed by your appearance– could be pretty harmful to a lady as well. Hence why so many ladies do go to drastic means to change their external appearance. I would say, however, that when a man expresses desire to simply show off his wife’s body he’s showing that he places an inappropriate weight on that factor as well. He should be pleased with being with you, regardless of whether you catch the attention of every eye in the room.

There’s this Tim McGraw song that I heard that captures the idea– in it he sings that his wife might catch every eye, but she only wants him. She doesn’t let it go to her head/heart. Now I would argue that if the girl is dressing that way on purpose then there’s something to be concerned about.

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:16:50 +0000

It’s definitely a prominent one within relationships– and a real battle for us husbands. We see a lot of attractive women, and we want our wives to be attractive as well. At the same time, we usually want to protect our women and we don’t want competition.

Oh the crazy things that go on in our heads!

By: Greta R.

Greta R. — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 10:38:25 +0000

This is an excellent article. I think I might have my husband read it. It may help him to better understand things from my perspective. Thank you very much for addressing this topic.

By: L_UK

L_UK — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 10:06:29 +0000

Ive had this conversation with my boyfriend, I was enraged at first – insulted! But once he explained his reasons there was some logic to it. Clearly your husband thinks your gorgeous and he is really proud that you married him therefore you should try to take it as a compliment that he wants to ‘show you off’. If you spin it around, you would be hurt if he didn want you to attend because he is embarrassed by you. Do you agree???

By: L_UK

L_UK — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 10:05:56 +0000

Ive had this conversation with my boyfriend, I was enraged at first – insulted! But once he explained his reasons there was some logic to it. Clearly your husband thinks you are gorgeous and he is really proud that you married him therefore you should try to take it as a compliment that he wants to ‘show you off’. If you spin it around, you would be hurt if he didn want you to attend because he is embarrassed by you. Do you agree???

By: Occasion dresses

Occasion dresses — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:31:00 +0000

My partner asked me along to one of his works events and I asked if other partners were going and he said he didn't care if they were or not because he wanted me to go to "show me off". I got angry at that and he didn't understand why. I think I'll direct him to this article! lol .-= Occasion dresses´s last blog ..Occasion Dresses Sale =-.