TellyVision

Anyone who has ever been around little kids for a substantial amount of time can probably recall a moment when a youngster said something “bad” or inappropriate without realizing it. Our English language is full of slang – one word can be used one way and be perfectly correct, but if it is said at a different moment, it can become very inappropriate.  Many children discover these words and phrases from chance or from their peers, usually at a young age. In our sinful society, this usually comes at an extremely young age.

I on the other hand, was (and still am) quite unique. I grew up in a very conservative family and school environment, and even in my senior year of high school, was still “discovering” some of these connotations. Example: In English class, we got off on a tangent, and began discussing Quazzimoto’s romantic life (don’t ask). Now, when one discusses a hunchback, I always assumed that a correct synonym for a “hunch” – the item which makes a hunchback a hunchback – would be a “hump” [Peter Sellers innocently thought so in the Pink Panther movies, which I saw when I was young]. I then said something to the effect of: “someone would have to love humps to love him”. The class then began to wet their pants in laughter as I sat in utter confusion; it was my parents who told me later that “hump” had a sexual connotation.

A second occurrence of this (which makes the post relevant to the blog) occurred within the last year. For the longest time, I had heard people call TV the “boob tube”. I had always assumed that the phrase referred to the lazy individuals (me) who sit and watch TV. But now, as I examine modern TV, I finally understand the real meaning behind the phrase.

Modern TV is inundated with immodesty. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize this. Just watch an average night of television on any of the major stations, and you will find plenty. You don’t even have to watch the shows, just watch their previews or review their plots (Desperate Housewives, Lipstick Jungle, Weeds, etc). Shall I even mention “Dancing With the Stars”?

Every fall and spring, when TV stations start new shows by airing “pilots” – the first episode of an entirely new show that introduces the characters and the basic plot – you can be sure to find junk. The producers will try anything to get viewers, and this usually includes half-naked women. What makes it even more rediculous is that the situations in which these women are present is usually quite forced. Out of curiosity, I watched the first episode of “Knight Rider”, so I could see what all the hype was about ( a talking car? Had semi-potential.) Within the first 5 minutes, when the car became an inferno of flames on the outside, I knew the show was odd.  But when the characters inside the car, in an attempt to survive the two minute drive back to home base where the car could be extinguished, stripped to their underwear so as to keep cool, I knew that this show was going to be bad. And when two scenes past, and the male character walked in on a topless girl, I realized the show was going to be worse than I first thought.

But this isn’t limited to the cheesy shows (as Knight Rider turned out to be). This type of material was present in the first episode of Heroes, the first episode of Fringe, the first BattleStar Gallactica, to name only a few – all incidents in which immodesty was forced.

I’m tired of this. So tired. I love to watch TV, and I’m tired of being forced to shut the TV off because of it. Will producers stop this? I doubt it. It gets them money. Why shouldn’t they stop?

Right?

*sigh*

Foy Lyndström

(Brownie Points to anyone who can ID where the picture is from)