My Journey to Modesty
My journey of changing my attire all began with a “Two weeks in a Dress Challenge”. I was curious if others would treat me differently and if I would feel differently. I knew that when I saw other women dressed noticeably modest I automatically had more respect for them and was interested in them, not their clothing.
I didn’t realize how much God would reveal sin issues in my heart through that challenge. As I analyzed what I wore and why I wore it I realized how much of my thinking was sinful/of the world. Our culture is all about looking sexy & drawing attention to the body. Our bodies are not to be ashamed of; they are beautiful as God created them. But, He did not create them to show off to the world. God showed me how impure the motives behind my clothing choices were. I realized I was trying to fit the world’s definition of beauty, not the Lord’s. I also was challenged by many articles I read on the subject of the loss of femininity and how much our culture is trying to make the differentiation between man and woman and our roles nonexistent.
I did a lot of praying and looking into the Bible. I had been asking in the past months for God to make me find my identity & value 100% in Him; that He would become the pearl that I would be willing to give everything else up for (parable Matthew 13:46). I did not expect God to use my “two weeks in a dress challenge” to bring that about. God put it on my heart that if I truly wanted to deny self and find my identity 100% in Christ I needed to leave behind the thinking & ways of the world. I needed to not be focused on drawing attention to surface or fleshly things but finding my value in Him alone. For me to do that He put clear convictions on my heart in the area of dress. I no longer wear pants, shorts, tank tops, or snug fitting clothing, I also shy away from things that are trendy in appearance. I wear long dresses, long skirts or jumpers and modest tops. It has been a huge change and not always easy but God has brought about internal change in me through my obedience. It is also very freeing to no longer be concerned with materialism or how the world views me in appearance; to finally be beginning to place obedience to the Lord before what other people might think!
John 17:16 “They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.”
MommaJo
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I think that’s awesome that you took that challenge and ended up growing a lot in the Lord as a result.
Quick question, though – why is it that skirts are often assumed to be more modest than pants?
Anna Graces last blog post..The Gathering 2009
Thanks for your comment Anna Grace!
Wearing skirts was important for me because I knew that every time I put jeans on I looked in the mirror to see how the backside of me looked. I wanted that part of me to look good, so obviously it was a heart issue. I know men are drawn to look at that part of a woman’s body and jeans and pants are obviously more fitted to you than a modest skirt or jumper. Besides that though I also felt led to dress more feminine.
The most important part of all this is that the Holy Spirit clearly spoke to me about what MY dress code needed to be to make the changes needed in MY heart & spirit. I do not feel at all that because God requested this particular “dress code” for me that that means it’s required of other women.
MommaJos last blog post..Finding my identity in Christ alone
Okay, that makes sense. I’ve seen plenty a panty line with a skirt where I haven’t with pants, but I suppose if you wear nylons, a slip, or a thicker skirt that wouldn’t even be an issue. Thanks for helping me understand.
Anna Graces last blog post..The Gathering 2009
Congratulations on making some very sound decisions. It’s amazing what can be accomplished by taking a step back to think about things. My wife and I do something similar through what we call 30-Day challenges.
Thanks Ed!
What do you do on the 30-Day Challenges?
Anna Graces last blog post..So Much More Than a Baby
I still think that we should do a “X days in a skirt/dress” challenge at ITM. Of course, I don’t think I can find that many kilts, and it is winter in the USA.
You just made me snort Cheerios, MIn, at the thought of you in a kilt. You’d totally have to post pictures.
Yes, I vote we wait until warm weather to do this challenge. I wore a dress to the ballet on Sunday and brrr! I was nearly in tears!
Now, here’s a question: Is wearing a skirt without nylons modest? Just bare calves? Yet one more reason I’ve gotten used to wearing long pants is because my husband is a leg man and when we were dating, he asked me not to wear shorts, capris, or medium-length skirts. (I can’t stand floor-length unless I’m in a formal, they usually don’t go past my mid-calf.) So I’ve worn pants now for five years, even in the hottest weather. (Now he wishes I’d wear shorts more often, lol…)
Sorry, back to the topic of nylons… any thoughts?
Anna Graces last blog post..So Much More Than a Baby
This sounds like a post topic rather than a reply in comments– and I’ll try to write something up on this. Personally, I wonder how wearing nylons actually started… do I want to know?
As for the skirt/shorts thing– my guess is that your hubby would like to see you in shorts, just probably not walking around for the rest of the guys to gawk at. It’s one of those “it’s what I want to see, not what I want them to see” things. ‘Course not sure how the pregnancy is treating you, but you may want to consider it!
Anna Grace:
I’m curious to hear the responses on this one…
I’ve read of people saying they feel nylons are more modest, yet I’ve heard different men say nylons draw their attention to a woman’s legs more. I wear closer to ankle length skirts and dresses – right now in the winter I’m wearing nylons or knee socks with them but come summer I won’t. I don’t find showing my ankles immodest. :)
MommaJo, it’s funny that you should mention ankles. I had a guy in college that was dating this cute petite blond girl and all he kept talking about was her ankles. It was pretty strange.
Acutally, MIn, hubby’s told me he likes it when men gawk at me – it’s an ego boost for him. A type of “You want her? Well, I got her!” trip. Drives me nuts – I feel like an object rather than a woman. What happened to change his mind was that before we were married, he couldn’t lust after me. Now that we are, he can, so he doesn’t see why I need to remain modest when I’m around other men.
And hubby would also say it’d be more modest to wear nylons than not because he’s so turned off by them. But that’s just his preference. It’d also depend on the type of nylons. Are we talking beige? Black? Red? Opaque? Sheer?
Anna Graces last blog post..So Much More Than a Baby
I guess I can understand the concept of the “trophy wife” but at the same time any time my wife has told me that a guy has been causing her to feel uncomfortable I want to go up to him and ask him “what’s the deal, buddy!?” I think it would all depend on who it was that was doing the gawking and how safe my wife feels.
Nylons? I once heard that white stockings mean something, but I never found out what. Other than that, I just know that my college made all the women wear them, and they didn’t want to.
I wish hubby would stand up for me like that. His ego’s a pretty powerful thing, though. :p But seriously, a good deal of modesty has to do with viewing people as objects of desire instead of people God created.
Anna Graces last blog post..So Much More Than a Baby
I would say “seeing people as objects”, or something to be lusted after. But you’re definitely right.
Amen! Thank you, MommaJo! This is a very encouraging, convicting and well-written post!
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