My Journey

When I was twelve, I was well-known for going barefoot as often as I possibly could. When I wore shoes, I tried to wear exclusively flip-flops. The reason? I didn’t like socks. And likewise, I disliked every pair of shoes that I had to wear socks with. I didn’t like the feeling of my toes being together that much. When asked, I stated that it made me feel like I had a “uni-toe”. : )

Also when I was twelve, I had a great aversion to skirts. I wore pants, capris, and shorts…but very rarely skirts. When asked, you may guess my response. Yes, it made me feel like I had a “uni-leg”!

Then came that notorious day in August. Around three years ago in late August, I met a young lady who was two years older than me, and a beautiful dancer. She wore the prettiest skirts, and when she danced, they would flitter all over the place in a very pretty way. I decided I wanted to be just like her. So I asked my dad, (who just happens to be the Israeli dance teacher at our congregation) to teach me a few dances. And also, to the shock of everyone around me, I stated that I wanted to buy a skirt. Nobody knew why I made this turnaround, and it was several months later before I told anyone the reason.

After that, I decided that maybe skirts weren’t as bad as I thought. They didn’t seem quite as uncomfortable as before. I started wearing skirts a little more often. Around once, maybe twice a week. It was around two years later before I started wearing them daily. And even then, my reasons for doing so were not right. I wore them daily with the thought that I would be seen as a “good” girl, who took consideration to the way she dressed (even though in my heart, I knew I didn’t). After finding the Rebelution’s modesty survey, I saw modesty in a whole new light. I found that if the desire to dress modestly, femininely, etc. was not for the right reasons, then what good would it do? If I dress modestly, but act immodestly, I have failed to understand what modesty truly is. And also if I dress femininely, but act unfeminine, I have failed to understand what femininity truly is.

So now, over three years after first admiring the flowy skirts of the young lady who is now one of my closest friends, I wear skirts every day; not because I want to be seen as “good”, but because God has put it upon my heart to be a lady, and wearing skirts is, for me, very much a part of that.

~Miss S.