Modest Marriage

Weddings are a strange time.  Not only is it a lot of work for one day, the most money you’ll probably spend on yourself for one event, and a moment that will change your life, but it’s also a time when most people shift away from the normal and glimpse another world—as it were.

Weddings are a time of change:

• From singleness to a couple.
• From belonging to yourself to belonging to another.
• From part of one family to part of two.
• From the focus on your passions to a focus on yours.

As part of this change, the girl, for just that day, becomes that princess and the guy, for just that day, becomes that handsome knight.  Reality is bent for just that day as we spend what it takes to enjoy that time together.

And, just for that day, many modest and pure young ladies will show things they would be embarrassed to show any other time because it’s for their new husband.

She wants to be Beautiful

There is nothing more beautiful than a bride on her wedding day.  Her face is bright.  Her makeup just so.  She’s spent money getting her hair done, and she feels like the most valuable person in the world.  The man she loves is about to pledge his enduring love to her, and she wants to be her most beautiful for him.

It’s tradition that the groom does not see the wedding dress before the wedding ¹, and for good purpose.  She wants to see his stunned face when she emerges on their big day.

She wants to be Attractive

There’s good reason that she’s gone to all this trouble—and it’s not simply because she’s looked through one too many bride magazines.  She wants to feel the part of the princess.  She wants her future husband to believe she’s the most beautiful person in the world.  She wants him to want her.  She wants to outshine all those that are there, and prove just why she is the person that he chose to marry.

She wants to be Sexy

She’s remained pure for this moment—or even if she hasn’t, she wants to be thought of this way.  She’s spent money on the wedding night attire, and knows that, in the back of his head he’s thinking about it.  She wants him to think, to wonder, to desire, perhaps even to lust after her.

And it’s a combination of these things that pushes her further than she has gone before in terms of modesty.  It is these things that encourage her to get a dress that will show off her best features—her curves, her figure, her shoulders, her chest.  She’s encouraged to show some, but not too much.  To give him a glimpse of how much she wants him.

If only it were just him and her.

She’s the Focus of Attention

The reality is that many will see the bride, and many may have the same reaction.  Just as she’s trying to get his attention, many will see all the same things.  Sure, it could be looked at as “Look at what he’s getting, don’t you wish you were?” but that’s not the attitude of a woman who’s life has been based on purity and humility.

The woman of purity and humility certainly has some hidden things for her husband, but those things are hidden, while others are left to guess.  The woman of purity knows she’s the focus of attention so she sets the bar high as an example for those to follow.

It is this woman that will be a joy to her husband, a helper, and not a trophy.  This woman is more than simply “woman”.  There are many of those.  She’s special because she’s saved everything for him.  And in the end, that’s what will be more valuable.

I'm a 35 year old guy married to the most beautiful woman in the world (VirtuousBlonde) for 10 years, and has 5 mostly adorable children-- depending on whether they've had a nap, of course. I'm a software developer by trade, though I like to write on various topics. I got my start in blogging at MInTheGap in 2004 writing about culture, politics and got started talking about modesty on this site just 3 years ago.

1. I did see my wife’s veil, but that was it! [↩]