If It’s a Dress, It Must Be Modest, Right?
Are all dresses modest? Unfortunately, no. This especially comes into play when we’re talking about formals.
It used to be that “getting all dressed up” meant looking more like a lady. Today, getting all dressed up could be mistaken for “showing it all off.” Indeed, much of what passes for formal wear is inspired by what Hollywood wears on the red carpet. We won’t go into all the adhesives that go into making a lot of those gowns work, but suffice it to say I’m sure those ladies aren’t comfortable.
It’s sad, though, because this is one of the few times when a girl should be enjoying feeling like a princess, and instead, we encourage them to wear things that make them wonder if they’re going to fall out, rip, or expose something that they don’t want seen to someone they don’t want seeing.
Any dress that you wear should be modest. It should be something that draws attention to your face. It should be something that makes you feel beautiful—I would avoid sexy here. If the gown promises to make you sexy, then it’s more concerned with how the boys around you look1 at you, rather than how it makes you feel.
Though you may believe that, if you get attention you’ll feel better about yourself, this is a fading feeling. It’s something that will go away, and it’s artificial. These boys aren’t seeing you for who you are on the inside—they’re seeing what you are on the outside. Don’t confuse the two.
Formal Modesty
- Modest While Formal
- If It’s a Dress, It Must Be Modest, Right?
- Always the Bridesmaid
- Here Comes the Bride – In What Color?
- Modest Marriage
- 10 Sites For Modest Formal Dresses
- Stare, gawk, leer—you choose the best term to apply here [↩]
Loading ...
Trying to find nice formal gowns in regular retail stores is next to impossible. I guess the fancier it is, the less it is supposed to cover?? And don’t even get me started on wedding dresses….
@Erin L.: Wedding dresses are an upcoming topic, but yes. Formal today seems to mean “show me what you got.”
I have a question about a dress I wore.
I’ve found a beautiful dress and I recently wore it to a wedding I was a part of. It was sleeve/strapless but showed nothing. From what I’ve read here, the sleeveless-ness of it would make that immodest, but it was a long dress, and was in no danger what-so-ever of showing anything at all. I felt like a princess, and everyone said I was beautiful in it, not sexy.
Would that too, be one of the common immodest dresses?
I like the dresses in the picture. My daughter has two dresses that were given to her but one she has never worn. The first is very similar to the pics except that it does not have sleeves but straps instead. They are wide straps though and the front top goes up very high.. nearly to the collar bone. It looks youthful and she looks beautiful in it!
The second one however is a deep burgandy red, and even though it is very high in the front as well it does have a low v back. It even has sleeves and looks to be pretty modest from the front. The v is not open except a small “sliver” portion but that with the color has made her choose to not wear it. She hasn’t gotten rid of it because she is a student of fashion and loves changing clothes up. As long as it fits, one of these days she may sew something to it which would make it be more appropriate. Otherwise, it will sit in her closet unworn.
I get dressed up for the Marine Corps Birthday Ball nearly every year. Last year a very young lady (maybe 18 or 19) came up to me and asked me to have my picture taken with her because I was dressed very elegantly compared to eveyrone elses cocktail mini’s. She said she wanted to remember what real beauty looked like. I was shocked but it was the best compliment I got all night!!!
Sallie
Sallies last blog post..The Crown of Aleppo
@Cami: A lot of discussion has happened on this site in regard to strapless dresses. So far, a majority of what I’ve read was that strapless/sleeveless is considered immodest.
For me personally? I’ve though of getting my wife a strapless dress before, but the reason that I would like it would probably be a good reason that I wouldn’t see her out and about with it on, if you know what I mean. :)
Can it depend on the environment and the dress? Possibly. Lots of opportunity in some of them for “accidents”, and you can make them modest with a coat or shawl.
@Sallie: It’s neat when you notice the lady because she’s feminine, not because she’s woman– if that makes any sense. Glad you were able to put forth modesty in the public space.
Saw this link on Twitter.
OK, no, not ALL dresses are modest. Ever heard of the minidress? :)
I personally have no problem with a sleeveless dress (per your Twitter question) as long as the sleeves are wide and amply cover the bra strap areas. I’m probably more lenient than some women on sleeveless dresses because I live in a climate where we wear sleeveless tops year round.
Spaghetti straps and/or strapless are NOT modest in my humble opinion. Way too much shoulder area being shown, plus it’s nearly impossible to find decent “undergarments” that provide the right support and shape in a strapless gown.
I’m actually really excited because tea-length (hits at mid-calf) are coming back in style. I think these dresses are extremely classy and very feminine. Think 50s housewife dresses! Also it seems the hemlines on skirts are getting longer, at least in places like Ann Taylor, Talbots, JC Penney’s, and other womens retail stores. Can’t speak for the teenybopper stores because I haven’t gone in there in about a decade. :)
What makes me sick is walking through Dillard’s during prom season and seeing dresses designed to be sold to young women with cut-outs around the waist and breast area. I cannot BELIEVE these are being sold for teens to wear!
I like the dresses in the picture. Long length, full sleeves, a decent neckline, and I like the beading at the empire seam for the added femininity. Unfortunately there are very few high school girls would would be caught in this at their proms.
Rachels last blog post..Joyeux Anniversaire, Mama Belle!!!
First time chiming in here, but thought I might say a couple things.
1. I agree that not all dresses are modest, not by a long shot.
2. I agree with MInTheGap above int eh comments when he mentions how he would feel about his wife out and about in a strapless gown. YUP, that’s a sure sign it isn’t modest, you don’t want other men to see your wife in it!
3. While those dresses above are decently modest, I do know some people who would say they too express too much of the woman’s curve and with the embroidery at the empire waist they call attention to the bust.
But I would wear one and not feel immodest in it.
Mrs.MegLogan
Mrs.MegLogans last blog post..Welcoming Baby Number Four!
Very good post! It’s also a turn off to the right kind of guy if you show up dressed immodestly. The key is to look beautiful and ladylike and modest all at the same time.
#Feb2011NCARating
Abigail Joy´s last post ..Perfection
This was a a great post. I love the dresses up there. I can’t stand the feel of strapless dresses. I feel really naked and that there is just too much for people to see. #Feb2011NCARating