Between Husband and Wife
There are a few times in life that we are immodest on purpose—and immodest in an appropriate way. This week I’d like to cover a few of these because there are times where immodest clothes can actually be something very positive.
Remember, clothing is inanimate. It is value neutral, and only becomes inappropriate when worn in certain ways and in certain contexts.
The Immodest Bride
No, I’m not talking about the wedding dress. Wedding dresses today seem less about modesty than they are about showing the future husband “what he’s getting.” Many wedding dresses I would consider to be either borderline or immodest.
That being said, there is a very appropriate time to be immodest—when you’re with your husband. That time when the bride has a shower or goes out looking for bridal lingerie is totally appropriate—because it is for him. In that context is the only time where these things should be visible. Encouraging his looks and stares is entirely appropriate.
It’s actually something that should be encouraged!
But if it’s supposed to be for Your Husband?
The logical follow-up to this, though, is the question—why are you wearing that kind of underwear if you’re unmarried. Why does everyone in your youth group or school need to know you’re wearing a thong, or be able to tell it’s a black bra you’re wearing under your white shirt?
While it’s entirely appropriate to be immodest, or drop hints about what’s going on underneath that dress to your husband, it’s entirely inappropriate for those that are not.
Immodest on Purpose
- Between Husband and Wife
- What You Wear In Your Own Home is Not My Business
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I completely understand. If you buy something that is for your husband, it should be worn with just you two. If you need to head into public, then change, or put something over it, that will cover it. A white shirt over a blackbra doesnt mean your covering.
I think this is an issue that should be brought up more with young Christian women who are about to get married. We’re told by so many (legalistic) leaders that sex is bad and enticing your husband is bad. I know lots of girls who did not want to have sex the honeymoon night and some who were ashamed or felt dirty for wearing lingerie. And these girls were virgins! Not only were these young women robbing their hubbies (or rewarding their hubbies for those that chose to stay pure), they were also robbing themselves of a great time of intimacy with their lifelong love.
Posts like these are good. These discussions break down legalistic barriers so we can experience true freedom in Christian marriage.
Rachels last blog post..This Is Harder Than It Looks
AMEN! I agree 100%! I have seen conservative couples who kept themselves pure for their spouses. You can often tell at the reception, after they’re married, that they’re not at all comfortable with the physical part of things. It should be natural when it’s appropriate, not forced.
#Feb2011NCARating
Abigail Joy´s last post ..Perfection
I second that Amen. From experience, unfortunately. Maybe that’s TMI, but I am one of those who had it down to a T that “good girls don’t”, so the switch to “good wives do” was extremely hard…
We need some good, Biblical teaching here!
Is that a request?
What I find I’m extremely embarrassed about, is when I go to buy these clothes, there are normally boy’s or young men behind the counters checking the pricetags for every one. That’s why most women around here don’t even buy these for they’re hubby’s. We feel uncomfortable buying these, and having the boys know what we’re wearing and what size we are…
Ugh, I hadn’t thought of that! Victoria’s Secret has female clerks. If one can stomach all the immodesty, you COULD shop there.
Abigail Joy´s last post ..Perfection
Cami, I’m surprised that there are young men doing that checking, unless they’re cashiers at a store that’s set up the way Kohl’s is (one central checkout for all the departments instead of in each department). There should only be women working in the departments that sell women’s clothes, men in men’s departments, and I suppose it doesn’t matter in such departments as baby, shoes, or housewares!
I know that my wife has said, also, that one of the things that bugs her about shopping in some of the bigger name lingerie stores is the men in there. I would think the feeling of being undressed with the eyes would be so much more keen in there.
So you have to resort to finding things in other places. It can be done, and done comfortably, but it probably takes more work.
For online options, and to avoid the “male clerk thing”, you might want to check out the shopping links of “The Marriage Bed” http://site.themarriagebed.com/shopping-links TMB is a Christian site dealing with intimacy, with problems and needs and… well, everything about physical intimacy. The shopping sites they recommend do not have p-rn-graphic nudity; lingerie and the like is displayed on mannikins and cutouts. Husband and wife may browse together and look at things they might like without being embarrassed for doing so.
Again, it’s a Christian site, and strictly for _married_ couples.
Thanks for the link.