Born Immodest
Let’s face it. Everything about childbirth is immodest. From what the mom’s have to wear, to the birthday suit the child’s born in, the only ones modest in the delivery room are the nurses, the doctor and the dad.
From that moment on, we try to keep our children covered. We try to keep them warm, to keep them from getting sick, and mom’s will be telling them they need to put on coats far sooner than even dad does.
But when it comes to modesty, it’s after they get home from the hospital that the choices begin.
First, there’s a whole line of clothing meant to sexualize the baby. Everything from “Does this diaper make my butt look fat” to comments about how the baby boy will be a heart breaker.
What we dress our children in when they have no choice for clothes on their own says a lot about the parents, but it also teaches the children (and the siblings) a lot about what we, the parents, think is acceptable.
We may find it funny or amusing, but in reality, we’re forming memories and impressions—things that will come back when our children go to choose their own “stylish” clothing or to dress their own children.
And is it just me, or is it hard to find modest dresses for little girls1? I mean, I know that they need to have their knees out to be able to crawl, but once they’re walking there should be cute skirts and dresses for them that are modest, and teach them modesty.
Am I going too far? I don’t know that I am giving our culture and society today.
Teaching Them While They're Young
- Born Immodest
- Children’s Swimwear
- Pretty Little Princess
- You know, dresses that don’t expose the diaper? [↩]
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I was thinking about this on Saturday. I was at an amusement park and they were having a cheerleading championship there. There were teeny tiny little girls with tons of makeup caked on and wearing the short skirts that inevitably come with a cheerleading uniform. Made me sad.
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My mom actually gave us one of the “diaper” t-shirts and Princess has yet to wear it. I accepted it graciously because my mom is very emotionally sensitive (she would have taken it personally if I’d rejected it and I try to pick my battles wisely). But it is folded up in her drawer at home.
Since Princess is now 2 1/2, I’ve noticed that the dresses for her age are longer than the ones I was buying when she was 18 mos. So I think they do adjust the dresses for little girls crawling. It’s been hard for me because Princess has really long legs (she’s 3 ft tall already!) so even dresses that are normal on other little girls seem a bit short on her.
Kids (well, girls, I don’t have any experience with boy clothes) clothes are going to fit differently on each child. They don’t have a range of sizes like they do for adults. I just try to find pretty dresses that are tasteful (SO sad I have to use that word about toddler clothes) and feminine, and hope that it won’t be a little too short.
The heart of the matter is not so much what does the girl look like now but exactly what you said – are we teaching them modesty? As they get older and can start picking out their own outfits, they need to understand what tasteful dressing is (and with love – you don’t want your 3 year old going up to a little girl in spaghetti straps saying “My mommy says only trashy girls show their shoulders like that!”). They also need good examples to follow from their mothers and other women in their lives.
Another key issue is the fathers. Little girls need to see that their fathers love their mothers regardless of how she is dressing, that they love and adore their mothers DESPITE the fact that the mother isn’t dressed like Britney. The main reason young women act out with their dress is because they need that stamp of approval from men. If they see godly attention modeled early in the home, perhaps they won’t be so desperate for it from outside the home as they grow up.
And to Anna Grace, what they are putting on tween teenager cheerleaders these days is disgusting!
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@Rachel: You’re right. Us Dads have a bigger part to play than we sometimes understand. What we say and do when it comes to our wife carries over to our daughters.
As for cheerleading outfits, even in my day they were something that were a constant battle– seeing that much leg…
Carters does put out nice little dresses, which generally come with bloomers to match. I suppose it would even be possible to sew a ruffle on the hem to add length!
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@KatieG: Yes, I think that there are some nice dresses at the young ages, but you can never be too careful!
Thanks for sharing!
Yeah, so many outfits (of all ages) can be fixed by adding some fun fabric to the hem of a skirt. We just need to be a little proactive is all.
Modesty in the delivery room is part of why I want to have a midwife when I’m married and pregnant, not a doctor and bunch of nurses unless I have huge problems that my midwife can’t handle.
My sister manages to dress her 3 year old daughter in modest and oh, so adorable dresses. Tights/leggings are great for modesty when she’s too young to know how to walk/sit/run/crawl like a lady.
#Feb2011NCARating
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